Happy New Year!
I hope all of you had a good new year and holiday season whether you spent it at home or out at a big party celebrating!
It’s a new year, a new start, and another 365 days of possibilities.
Here’s to a great year ahead for all of us — one that is filled with happiness and realization of goals.
Like myself, you may enjoy making a list of things to achieve during the year, writing down 3 or 20 resolutions. Or perhaps you don’t believe in resolutions or maybe your life is close to perfect so there’s not much more you’re asking for.
Whichever category you fall in, here’s a way to live your year the way you want it.
Choose one word and work at living your year that way.
I chose Happy.
I want to be happier this year, I want this to be a happier year.
I need more happiness.
And while I said choose one word, I’m adding on a related point which is to be less stressed about everything.
I need to be less stressed out about things and be happier.
There we go! That’s how my year is going to be for me– a happy happier year!
The irony is, it’s going to take alot of work and effort to the happy and happier.
We’re only into the 4th day of the new year and I’ve already been fighting to live my hours and days that way (the happier way).
New Year’s day, I was tired, sleep deprived and stressed out about all the new year emails I wanted to send to say hi and reconnect with people. I spent the whole day doing that.
By the time evening came around, I had a headache and was slightly dizzy and had to drag myself to a pre-arranged dinner. Dinner dragged on too long and I was even more tired by the time I reached home.
I was grouchy and resented having to appear at the dreaded work desk the next day.
I was annonyed, pissed, irritated and stressed because I hadn’t sent out all the emails I wanted to.
Basically I was the opposite of happy and less stressed. Not a good start.
2nd day I grouchily dragged myself to get to my work desk and begrudgingly sat through the day, wishing it would be over. Working on a document write up, I had a draft which I hoped would just require a few changes. But NO. The person had a whole lot of new ideas to add which meant MORE Work for me.
2nd January — I am NOT in the mood to work. Again, not exactly happy.
This morning started out well, I forced myself to wake up early and go for a yoga class.
Then it got a little rough. I had things to do but was paralyzed fear and took me awhile to get started.
I managed to get 2 hours of work done which wasn’t much but better something than nothing.
Segue to tonight, I met with a friend for dinner which was nice. We had drinks and pasta and chatted the night away. A improvement on being happier.
I’m working at being happy and less stressed.
A few minutes ago, I could feel the stress creeping up as I thought about the emails I haven’t replied to and the things i need to take care of this weekend that I haven’t started on.
It was enough to get me into a bad mood.
Then I reminded myself, I need to live the year happy.
I took a deep breath and started this post.
I am going to work at be happier and having happy year.
I can do it. And I will be happier.
I’m going to reply to those emails and take it in stride, and stress out less about it.
That’s the plan =)
What’s the one word you chose to define your year?
If you have been disappointed, take heart. For you are also in a great place from which to start.
When you’ve made the effort and failed to get the desired result, see it as the blessing it is.
You have just discovered what doesn’t work and that will help you figure out what does work.
When people are critical of you, sincerely thank them.
They have just given you a valuable perspective which can help you to become even more effective.
In the moments when frustration comes, feel the intense energy that comes with it.
Transform that energy into determination, and make it a powerful, positive force.
Even when there are good reasons to feel sorry for yourself, don’t.
Those very same reasons can be reasons to move forward with more commitment than ever before.
Whatever life may give you, choose to give goodness in return.
And nothing will be able to hold you back from the sweet fulfillment you deserve.
Ralph Marston – The Daily Motivator
Rejection is hard for me.
It’s something I need to be better at dealing with — be able to take rejection and not crumble to the ground and let it wipe away my self esteem.
Most of us face rejection but it’s especially tough when you’re at an inflection point in your life like getting a job or into the school you want.
I’ve been dealing with rejection recently and the most recent episode just shattered me.
It made me feel so small and the person made me feel so bad about myself.
I think he took pleasure in putting me down.
Part of dealing with rejection is psychology.
As in my situation, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself, then it’s clear you’re dealing with a bad, negative person.
In which case, their opinion and words about you shouldn’t matter.
So, you clearly shouldn’t let it get to you and feel worthless, which is precise what the evil person is trying to do.
That’s certainly easy to say.
If you are human, despite the above being logical, the words and actions of that mean person is bound to sting.
You just have to keep repeating to yourself that they are mean people and therefore their opinion is unimportant.
More generally, the tough part is getting over every no you receive.
No, we don’t want to hire you. No you’re not a good fit for this opportunity.
No, I don’t want to go out with you. No, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.
No, no, no, no, no.
It’ll hurt. Again it’s a mind game.
No from one person, means you can move on to another opportunity.
And if you keep trying, you’ll eventually get to yes.
That is true. It’s recently taken me many Nos to finally get to a yes.
It is hard to believe it or see it when you are facing rejection and all you’re hearing is no.
But keeping trying and you’ll find a yes.
It’s easy to lose hope and get disheartened. I certainly have been there.
I understand how difficult it is to keep going sometimes.
Some days, I would feel hopeless but I would force myself to do something.
I believe and remember Woody Allen’s quote “80% of success is showing up.”
So even when I feel terrible, I show up.
I keep knocking on doors, keep going out there to meet people because you never know which is the one situation you’ll meet someone who WILL appreciate you.
Every now and then, I had a good friend who would pull me up and remind me of all the good things I’d accomplish.
There are only a few of them and they are all living far away.
I wish my good friends lived close to me so I could see them more often.
When you’re faced with rejection, even if it’s continuous rejection,
Don’t let rejection or someone knock you down.
Find those handful of amazing friends who will lift you up and support you.
As a writer, I’m a thinker by nature. I need to think about what topics to delve into and how to best express them. But sometimes, thinking can get me into trouble.
Maybe you can relate.
Often, our thinking goes into overdrive and turns into fixating. And we end up spending (or should I say “wasting”?) a lot of time ruminating on things that don’t matter, things that keep us worried and distracted from reaching our goals.
Here are four things you can stop worrying about — forever:
We’ve all been there.
“What — THAT book is a bestseller? The plot is terrible and the writing is filled with grammatical errors!”
“My four-year-old could have come up with that!”
“I had that same idea last year. They just got lucky.”
Really, this reaction is more about us than it is about them. We could have done better if only we’d actually written that novel or pitched the idea.
But where the successful person took action, we stalled.
Action trumps perfection. Stop thinking about all the worse-than-you writers and entrepenrus who are making it big and instead, use them as motivation.
After all, if they can land that awesome assignment or end up on the bestsellers list even with all their flaws, you can do it, too. If you only forget perfection and take action.
It’s a bad idea to share your ideas and contacts in such a competitive market. After all, there’s only so much to go around, right?
In my 16-year career as a freelance writer, I’ve discovered there are more than enough opportunities for everyone.
And the more I helped out writers who wanted to brainstorm ideas or know how to contact the nutrition editor at Health magazine, the more other writers shared information and opportunities with me.
In fact, I can calculate at least $50,000 of work over the years that came from networking not with editors or agents, but with other writers who passed my name along to people needing writing.
Wall yourself off from other writers because they’re your “competition” and the universe will wall you off from writing opportunities. Instead, consider other writers your friends and colleagues, and share, share, share.
The surest way to lose your unique style and quash your brilliant ideas is to become obsessed with figuring out what the market wants.
Often, the market doesn’t even know what it wants until it gets it. How could it?
Of course, you want to create something others will like, but don’t lose your voice trying to conform to what you imagine will appeal to the largest demographic.
Maybe you’ll start a trend instead of following one.
A “no” from a gatekeeper can bring on obsessive thoughts in any person’s mind:
The people who succeed in this world are the ones who can blast past rejection.
After all, this is a numbers game. What would have happened if JK Rowling hadn’t racked up all those rejections for the Harry Potter series, or Steve Jobs had never returned to Apple after being fired from the company he started?
Rejection isn’t about you. It isn’t even about your work. It’s a sign that what you have isn’t exactly what the permission-givers need right now.
I got 500 rejections from magazine editors — at least — and still made a great living writing mainly for magazines. For me, each “no” was a stepping stone to the next “yes.”
Maybe the same can be true for you… if you can let go of what your friends are doing, what the world wants, and what the critics think — and just persevere.
Post by Linda Formichelli, who blogs at The Renegade Writer.