Sparkling

self help

This tag is associated with 5 posts

Affected by Situation Outcome. What do You do when you’re Nervous, Anxious?

Every time I think I’m to write a quick short post, it never turns out that way.
I’m not sure if I should post this.

See, I started this blog as a place for humorous, fun, and good content.
Not to talk about what I’m worrying about or how I feel.
But more and more, I feel the draw to post when I’m feeling down, upset, or nervous.
I’ve mixed feelings about this as this isn’t what I want the blog to be about
While it gives you readers an understanding of what I’m facing and adds to authenticity, I’m not sure how much you all want to read about this and I don’t want to bore or annoy people.

I’m pretty affected so I’m just going to post about this. (and make it short and sweet)

There’s something that’s going on that’s making me nervous and anxious.
I’m nervous about how things will turn out and worried if the other person will take my suggestions or insist on theirs.

I hope they will be as generous as possible and they will be understanding of me and my situation.

But there is always the possibility people will strong arm their way through and have a “Take it or Leave it” attitude.

I know worrying about how someone is going to react and feel doesn’t solve or improve a situation.
But it still impacts me and makes me anxious and nervous because this is important to me.

I have a lot of other things to get done in the meanwhile but I’m finding it hard to focus and there’s this knot in my stomach.
I’m feeling little colorful jumping jelly beans inside me.
I promised you it would be short AND SWEET =) Jelly Beans are Sweet.

Anxiety, Nervous, Jumping Jelly Beans, Knot in Stomach

The most positive way I can describe this is I’m feeling a knot in my stomach and am nervous. Maybe there are jelly beans jumping inside me…

What do you do and how do you cope when you are nervous or anxious?
I tried pressing into 2 pressure points on my hand
(left edge of the wrist & flesh between the thumb and second finger)
but they are not helping to reduce my anxiety about the situation.

I’m going to write a letter to the person I’m speaking to about the situation and see if that will help.
Updates later.

Send me any advice & good wishes that the situation will turn out well for me!
Tell me how you feel about these types of post.
If the feedback is “Stop posting how you feel, no one cares!”, I won’t post such topics.
Just let me know =)

Thanks a million! ❤

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Stress Relief Tip: Don’t Think the Worse of a Situation, It Often Works Out

I’ve been nervous for the past few hours.
I don’t know if it’s because it’s 9/11 and thus sub-consciously, I’m more alert, anxious, nervous.
Who can forget the day. It’s clear as day in my mind.
I don’t want to see any movies about it.

So maybe it’s because I’m a little more on edge.
Today, like most of my days, everything takes way too long to get done.

Or maybe I’m just inefficient or a worry wort and worry my tasks to the ground.
(Unfortunately you can’t worry tasks or anything away. If that were the case, worrying would actually be productive!)

I needed to tell someone they reversed the scheduling on one of my jobs.
I’ve been putting off emailing them as I’m afraid how they will react.
I keep worrying the Operations Admin woman  might get all irritated and upset with me and blame it on me when I’ve in fact told her about this scheduling mix up 2 months ago.

In psychology, they call this Fatalistic Thinking.
Thinking the worse of a situation and snowballing the situation in your head.

Worrying-is-like-praying-for-what-you-dont-want

So many hours later, after much worry and angst, I emailed both the Operations Admin and my colleague informing them of the mix up and for my colleague to confirm she can work on the day we discussed.

I’ve been agonizing about it.
I finally dug up the courage to check my email.
My colleague replied she could work that day as I had discussed with her.
I had a sigh of relief when I saw that and my stress levels went down.
I haven’t heard back from the Operations Admin but I feel this will limit any angry yelling from her since the schedule is all sorted out.
Phew.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought!
The moral of the story: Thinking the worst of a situation only stresses yourself up for nothing. Don’t over-worry about the other person’s reaction,
especially if it’s something you’ve taken care of previously.
We often think the worse of a situation, when it usually turns out fine with much less drama than we imagine!

Now I need all of you to remind me weekly of this very good piece of advice

Let's worry less & enjoy the moments more!

Let’s worry less & enjoy the moments more!

Every Day May Not Be a Good Day, But There’s Something Good in Every Day!

I’m exhausted, tired out.
Worse part is there is SO MUCH MORE to get done.

I’m not sure how I’m going to do it all
and it upsets me when I feel I can’t get it all done.

I’m not in the greatest of moods.
Then I came across this piece of wisdom which I’m going to remind myself of every time I’m sullen.

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something GOOD in every day”
I’m going find 1 thing good every day – whether I’m in a cheerful mood or grumpy.
I’m sure there is always 1 good thing that happens every day for most of us.
Let’s acknowledge and appreciate it!

I like to remind myself of this Especially on a rough day. Look for the good and smile. You will get through it!

I like to remind myself of this
Especially on a rough day. Look for the good and smile.
You will get through it!

Have a GREAT day Ahead! SMILE! =)

You’ll be Happier Living Your Life, Doing what Fulfills You

Saying “I am a VP at Google” is bound to get admiration and approval from other people you interact with .

Being able to say you have a insert big title  at  Famous Company
will no doubt make you a success in most people’s eyes.
Go to a cocktail party and every one will label you successful, accomplished.
Go on a date, you’ll be seen as achieving, smart.
Make new friends at the gym and they will be impressed.

Yes, yes, yes. There is a lot of positive reinforcement to achieving career success.
It is a good thing.

But is that the only indicator of success & self worth?

Does your job make you truly happy in your heart?
Not the money or fame you get but the actual job.
Happier than doing what you love?
Happier than spending time with the people you love?
Do you know what you love doing?

There is more to life than your job.
Life is more than getting a huge title at big company.

Doing what fulfills you, what is important to you may mean
making unconventional choices and taking an unpopular path in life.
Others will judge you.
Don’t let their superficial judgement make you feel less about yourself.
Do what fulfills you, what makes you happy.
You’ll be happier living your life than someone else’s life.
You can skip to the illustrated story here. or keep reading…. =)

“Live a good life. And in the end it’s not the years in a life, it’s the life in the years.”
Abraham Lincoln

If you have a passion, nurturing and staying connected to that passion is important.
It keeps you motivated and happy.

You might have a great business idea, a better way to do something, a superior product.
And you decide to leave that comfortable corporate job to start your company doing just that.

Maybe you have a family and you realize how quickly the kids are going to grow up
even if they are a handful and take up so much of your time now.
You may want to consciously spend enough time with them before they reach the age
where they only want to hang out with their friends and lock themselves up in their room.

Hopefully you have a list of things you’d like to do or learn.
When I spoke to someone about leaving their job (which was making them miserable),
the person exclaimed “What would I do with all that time?”
I felt sad for the middle aged person who lived long enough,
had gotten all the big titles at a major company but was empty inside and had no interests.

If you’re middle aged and have nothing you want to try or learn or interests to pursue,
You have no idea who you are or what you are about.
You just chased the other rats in the rat race and got ahead.

Some of us in a moment of revelation or sign of insanity, take a plunge
and decide other parts of our life are important enough
to break away from the lemming masses running over themselves to get the bigger title, better job.

If you are one of those people, Good for you. Keep doing it!
Don’t let others who snub you get you down.

If you have a dream of someday doing something others call “crazy” ,

Keep working on it and when the time is ripe, make your dream happen!
It’s not going to be easy but take a deep breath, find the people who will support you (those are your true friends) and go for it.

The trouble is most measure and judge others by their jobs and tittles.
They see it as the main sign of how successful, wealthy, and accomplished you are.
They fail to understand there is much more to life than the job or title.

Of course, such people only want to associate with successful, wealthy people.

Why waste time with people who won’t benefit you by introducing you to
other important people or throwing you a piece of business?

That person who chose to pursue a passion that pays little.
They are nothing, unimportant, possibly a failure.

Well, REALLY?

Over the weekend, I had to tolerate such people around a dinner table.
They didn’t want to talk to me, and give me the evil eye every time I said something.
In their eyes, because I no longer had a big title, I was inferior and a failure and they made that very clear.
I’ve seen them a couple of times and they’ve snubbed me.

Did it hurt? sure.

I told myself, I wasn’t going to let their superficial values and judgement cloud my own sense of self worth.
Even though I was stuck at that dinner table for hours, I chose to enjoy my food and drinks.
I laughed the night away, I spoke to people who seemed to mind less (I was in a superficial crowd).
I amused myself. Amusing yourself is always a good skill.

We all have different circumstances,
we grapple with different sorrows in our life that nobody knows
.
We battle with different challenges that others do not understand.
Others do not understand our pain or moments of despair.
We have different passions, different priorities.
Some are narrow minded, some see the bigger picture.

Despite not knowing you personal situation, these people want to judge you and your life
based on their narrow, superficial criteria.

Don’t let external disapproval make you feel less about yourself.
In fact, having the courage to take an unconventional path is more than these people will understand.
Just because others view you with disdain doesn’t mean you have to take on their negative view about yourself.
They may snub you in your face, lift your head up high.
Know why you are doing the things you choose, accept the limitations of the situation.
Remember what you love about what you are doing and your goal,
whether it’s completing your first novel or staying home to look after the kids.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your life. Life has its ups and downs.
Anyone who doesn’t understand that and fails to have compassion,
will one day learn that very lesson the hard way and
find the like-minded superficial company they keep abandon them as well.

Even if you’ve lost your job or are in a less ideal job,
use that time to do other things you love, things that bring you joy.
It doesn’t have to cost money.
It can be as simple as spending more time with the kids,
borrowing that book you always wanted to read, learning a new hobby/skill.

Look for training and development programs where you can improve your skills
or learn about that area you always wanted to.
Keep living, find the things that make you happy and,
keep persevering to get to where you want to.

To live a meaningful life and do what you love,
You may make unconventional choices and take an unpopular path in life.
Others will judge you.
Don’t let their superficial judgement make you feel less about yourself.
Do what fulfills you, what makes you happy.
You’ll be happier living your life than someone else’s life.

Do what you love, Live your life, Be happier

Do what you love, Live your life, Be happier

imgur.com/gallery/V6KoHbF

Held Back by Procrastination? Beat it! Achieve your Goals!

If your To Do list multiplies faster than you can check them off,

If you find yourself saying “Darn, I really wanted to get that done, why didn’t I get it done? I wish I completed it”

Chances are you’re dealing with some procrastination issues not because you want to but because there are other factors lurking.
You may be afraid of not doing a good enough job, you may be overwhelmed.
The worries that are holding you back are endless.

What’s important to remember is Just Start.
1. However small. Take the first step. and force yourself to do the first action to initiate your task/goal.
2. Break the task up into multiple smaller tasks and tell yourself you just need to get 1/5 done.
Not so scary right?

3. Commit to doing it for at least 15 minutes.

Chances are by the time you’ve picked up your pen or started typing on your computer, worked on it for 15 minutes, and gotten 1/5 done, you’ll be in the zone to keep on going to complete 1/2 or the entire task.

If you haven’t, it’s perfectly fine.
You’ve made progress. You’ve started on it.
Keep going and You’ll get it done!

Action gets things done. Waiting for the right mood does not.
(I should absolutely follow my own advice and insights….) =P

Just Start Take the first step to do the task!

Just Start
Take the first step to do the task!

Other tips to getting things done

4. Schedule time to get that evasive goal completed. Set aside chunks of time to do the same/similar things. For example, block out an hour for email rather than interrupting your other tasks to reply to 1 email. Conversely, this ensures you do not spend your entire day answering emails. (unless that’s your job or goal)

5. Get a (very good) friend to keep track of your progress.  There are professional coaches and therapists who can play this role but not everyone has the health coverage or finances to use professionals.

I’ve found that having a very good and committed friend works just as well if not better because you do not have to wait for that weekly meeting.

Tell your friend your goal and create a plan that breaks it up into smaller steps and the deadline for each step.
Get your friend to check in on you frequently. Daily is great!

If you don’t do it or have issues like procrastination, tell your friend s/he should put pressure, motivate and yell at you and keep tabs on you. Sometimes you just need tough love. =)

If you can, find a licensed psychologist who can help you with what you’re dealing and struggling with.

Whatever it is, KEEP DOING, Keep Trying, Don’t Give Up!
Love Yourself, Don’t Blame Yourself. Tell yourself you will do better next hour or tomorrow.
You will get there!

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