Sparkling

rejection

This tag is associated with 3 posts

Who He Chose…

It was meant to a relaxing, laid back afternoon,
enjoying coffee and sinful chocolate cake with a friend.

I walked into the tiny cafe looking for some seats.

Walking along the long wooden table, I felt punched by the walls and probably froze for a few seconds.
Right in front, I saw the guy I was crazy about.
With a girl.
and his arms around her.

I was completely caught off guard. I was not prepared to meet him.
I hadn’t heard from him in awhile and I had guessed he had met someone.
But there’s nothing like being smashed in the face with the visual of the guy you’ve been liking for over a year standing with his girlfriend.
His arms around her when you want it to be you his arms are around.

I turned around and walked out of the cafe slowly, hoping no one, including him, would notice.
Wishing I could fade into the walls, sink into the wooden floor boards and disappear.
Wishing I never walked into that cafe to see him with his new girlfriend.

Once out the door, I walked in a daze towards the small garden patch next to the cafe.
The friend I was meeting was walking to the cafe and I had to quickly revert to my smiley disposition.
A friend confirmed my sighting when she heard I’d seen him
“Oh yes! he’s got a girlfriend! It’s pretty new!”
I kept very silent and put on a poker face the entire time.

For the first few hours, I must have still been in shock and I didn’t feel much.

As the hours have worn on, the questions have surfaced and are playing on repeat in my mind.
The hurt and pain is surfacing. I’ve cried a few times.

As I cried in the shower, I yelled at myself silently: I blame myself partly.
I just screwed up a possible shot at a relationship with someone who has a lot in common.
If I wasn’t so cautious when I first met him and I showed my interest more clearly, it could be me by his side now.
Now I’ve lost a chance to find out if we are compatible, if we can have a life together.
It’s gone.

And I’m reeling in the pain and hurt that he chose someone else over me.
I just wanted us to share our common interests together, learn about other areas together and each other’s perspective, enjoy the simple things in life of reading together on a sofa, admire the view from the mountain, savor the fragrant tea.

He is the only one I’ve met who I’ve wanted to cook for and recreate his favorite childhood dish he misses. I would have experimented countless times to recreate the dish for him since the family recipe has been lost.

 

I admire him and love his creativity, his understated, quiet sense of humor, his brilliance.
I like him for who he is — not what he’s achieved or what he offers me.
I like him for him.

I’d so wish we could have pursued our interests together, side by side.
I wanted to edge him on and support him and encourage him to embark on his long time dream.

I wanted to have a shot at finding out if we were compatible together,
if we could have a life together.
I believe we could.

I just wanted for us to enjoy the things we had in common and incorporate the differences,
to cheer him on in his efforts, support him when things were down,
stand on his side always, love and laugh together,
make him happy, and be happy together.

 

Where we both feel our lives are better because we are together:
The bad days are more bearable because we have enough other,
The joys in life are more joyous because we celebrate together.
If he fell sick, I’d look after him and stay with him to lift his spirits.
I just wanted to share our life, have a fuller life, and be happier together because we had each other.
My love is sincere and genuine and that’s all I want.

I don’t know why he lost interest. Was it something I said or did?
I don’t know why he doesn’t appreciate my sincerity and everything I have to offer.
Honestly, how many people would love you for you and not because you have something to offer them?

But he chose someone else.
I’m crushed I have to admit. Completely crushed.
I shouldn’t be taking it this hard.
After all it was just a guy I had been going out with that didn’t work.
I shouldn’t be in tears or feeling this piercing pain throughout my body.

But the pain is there and it hurts like hell.
I need it to go away and I can’t bear living with this pain.
I don’t know why and what went wrong and I know I won’t get any answers.

I have a lot of love and affection for him.
I swear there was chemistry between us and there’s an attraction.
I wish we had a shot at life together.

For now, I need this pain to go away and accept I’ve lost a shot with someone I care deeply for.
I hate being collateral damage but this is life.
In life, sometimes you end up with a losing streak.
Until things improve….

Please share how you got through the pain and hurt when a person you loved chose to be with someone else.lost-love-poems2

Finding Goodness

Find the Goodness in Return

Finding Goodness

If you have been disappointed, take heart. For you are also in a great place from which to start.

When you’ve made the effort and failed to get the desired result, see it as the blessing it is.
You have just discovered what doesn’t work and that will help you figure out what does work.

When people are critical of you, sincerely thank them.
They have just given you a valuable perspective which can help you to become even more effective.

In the moments when frustration comes, feel the intense energy that comes with it.
Transform that energy into determination, and make it a powerful, positive force.

Even when there are good reasons to feel sorry for yourself, don’t.
Those very same reasons can be reasons to move forward with more commitment than ever before.

Whatever life may give you, choose to give goodness in return.
And nothing will be able to hold you back from the sweet fulfillment you deserve.

Ralph Marston – The Daily Motivator

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Dealing with Rejection

Rejection is hard for me.

It’s 1 of the 4 things to stop worrying about in the recent post.

It’s something I need to be better at dealing with — be able to take rejection and not crumble to the ground and let it wipe away my self esteem.
Most of us face rejection but it’s especially tough when you’re at an inflection point in your life like getting a job or into the school you want.

I’ve been dealing with rejection recently and the most recent episode just shattered me.
It made me feel so small and the person made me feel so bad about myself.
I think he took pleasure in putting me down.

Why Won't You Give Me a Chance??? -- The question that is often repeated in my head when I get rejected

Why Won’t You Give Me a Chance??? — The question that is often repeated in my head when I get rejected

Part of dealing with rejection is psychology.
As in my situation, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself, then it’s clear you’re dealing with a bad, negative person.
In which case, their opinion and words about you shouldn’t matter.
So, you clearly shouldn’t let it get to you and feel worthless, which is precise what the evil person is trying to do.

That’s certainly easy to say.

If you are human, despite the above being logical, the words and actions of that mean person is bound to sting.
You just have to keep repeating to yourself that they are mean people and therefore their opinion is unimportant.

More generally, the tough part is getting over every no you receive.

No, we don’t want to hire you. No you’re not a good fit for this opportunity.
No, I don’t want to go out with you. No, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.
No, no, no, no, no.

Rejection2

It’ll hurt. Again it’s a mind game.
No from one person, means you can move on to another opportunity.
And if you keep trying, you’ll eventually get to yes.
That is true. It’s recently taken me many Nos to finally get to a yes.
It is hard to believe it or see it when you are facing rejection and all you’re hearing is no.
But keeping trying and you’ll find a yes.
It’s easy to lose hope and get disheartened. I certainly have been there.
I understand how difficult it is to keep going sometimes.

Some days, I would feel hopeless but I would force myself to do something.
I believe and remember Woody Allen’s quote “80% of success is showing up.”
So even when I feel terrible, I show up.
I keep knocking on doors, keep going out there to meet people because you never know which is the one situation you’ll meet someone who WILL appreciate you.

Every now and then, I had a good friend who would pull me up and remind me of all the good things I’d accomplish.
There are only a few of them and they are all living far away.
I wish my good friends lived close to me so I could see them more often.

When you’re faced with rejection, even if it’s continuous rejection,
Don’t let rejection or someone knock you down.
Find those handful of amazing friends who will lift you up and support you.

Keep going!

***

Rejection Snoopy

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