Happy New Year!
I hope all of you had a good new year and holiday season whether you spent it at home or out at a big party celebrating!
It’s a new year, a new start, and another 365 days of possibilities.
Here’s to a great year ahead for all of us — one that is filled with happiness and realization of goals.
Like myself, you may enjoy making a list of things to achieve during the year, writing down 3 or 20 resolutions. Or perhaps you don’t believe in resolutions or maybe your life is close to perfect so there’s not much more you’re asking for.
Whichever category you fall in, here’s a way to live your year the way you want it.
Choose one word and work at living your year that way.
I chose Happy.
I want to be happier this year, I want this to be a happier year.
I need more happiness.
And while I said choose one word, I’m adding on a related point which is to be less stressed about everything.
I need to be less stressed out about things and be happier.
There we go! That’s how my year is going to be for me– a happy happier year!
The irony is, it’s going to take alot of work and effort to the happy and happier.
We’re only into the 4th day of the new year and I’ve already been fighting to live my hours and days that way (the happier way).
New Year’s day, I was tired, sleep deprived and stressed out about all the new year emails I wanted to send to say hi and reconnect with people. I spent the whole day doing that.
By the time evening came around, I had a headache and was slightly dizzy and had to drag myself to a pre-arranged dinner. Dinner dragged on too long and I was even more tired by the time I reached home.
I was grouchy and resented having to appear at the dreaded work desk the next day.
I was annonyed, pissed, irritated and stressed because I hadn’t sent out all the emails I wanted to.
Basically I was the opposite of happy and less stressed. Not a good start.
2nd day I grouchily dragged myself to get to my work desk and begrudgingly sat through the day, wishing it would be over. Working on a document write up, I had a draft which I hoped would just require a few changes. But NO. The person had a whole lot of new ideas to add which meant MORE Work for me.
2nd January — I am NOT in the mood to work. Again, not exactly happy.
This morning started out well, I forced myself to wake up early and go for a yoga class.
Then it got a little rough. I had things to do but was paralyzed fear and took me awhile to get started.
I managed to get 2 hours of work done which wasn’t much but better something than nothing.
Segue to tonight, I met with a friend for dinner which was nice. We had drinks and pasta and chatted the night away. A improvement on being happier.
I’m working at being happy and less stressed.
A few minutes ago, I could feel the stress creeping up as I thought about the emails I haven’t replied to and the things i need to take care of this weekend that I haven’t started on.
It was enough to get me into a bad mood.
Then I reminded myself, I need to live the year happy.
I took a deep breath and started this post.
I am going to work at be happier and having happy year.
I can do it. And I will be happier.
I’m going to reply to those emails and take it in stride, and stress out less about it.
That’s the plan =)
What’s the one word you chose to define your year?
Many of us look at our life, fairly convinced that if a few aspects were better, we’d be much happier.
If I had a better job, I would worry less about money and be happier.
If my partner was more understanding, I would be happier
If I had more money, I could look prettier.
Sometimes it also takes the form of wishing for some other aspect of someone else’s life.
If I had job, like Tom’s, I would worry less about money and be happier.
If my partner was more understanding, like Mary, I would be happier
If I had more money, like Grace who has a trust fund, I could look prettier.
We live with these thoughts on a regular basis. Maybe not daily.
But every week, every month, they’re sitting there with as as our regular companions.
Assuring us how much better and happier our life would be if only a few aspects would be better.
Days are spent trying to make it better, wondering how you are going to get through the next day or week.
The dissatisfaction piles up to a sharp climax where you decide you’ve had enough.
You need a change. It’s going to be better.
Maybe it’s a revelation in your life. or maybe an impulse. Perhaps a mid life crisis.
It’s impossible to know which it truly is.
You make some HUGE decision in your life that drastically alters your life. You believe this will lead you to happiness.
You change your job from something you have been grinding at to pay the bills to something you love.
Which means you have to start from scratch. You swear you will be happier doing what you love even if it pays much less.
You move to a place you’ve always dreamt about living in.
Convinced life will be better and you will be happier.
You embark on that journey, overflowing with conviction you are right. You’ve made a big, brave move.
You will be happier, life will be better.
And then you realize as you walk on that journey, it’s not a smooth sailing path to the better life and happiness you thought.
There are new problems. Maybe even the old problems linger, resurface.
There are downsides you didn’t predict before.
You’ve taken this huge step towards your dream life, what you always thought would make you happier.
Only to find out, this direction has it’s problems as well.
What we think our happier life would be, someone else’s picture perfect life we wish we could have
It’s greener and sparkling with beauty from a distance.
Up close and threading on it, you realize it’s not a smooth road.
It has its own problems, different ones perhaps, but problems anyway.
It doesn’t necessarily solve the old problems.
After making a huge sharp turn in your life, you realize much of life and decisions you make, is about trade offs.
The sign you put up that read “This way to happier” bears its own course and trials.
You will never know until you try.
But you may try and realize the hike to Happier lets you down.
Have you made a big decision in your life that would make you happier? Share your story and journey!
Read about Anna’s story of packing up her life and moving countries on the road to Happier
You can read more about her story at http://www.kansies.com/
If you have been disappointed, take heart. For you are also in a great place from which to start.
When you’ve made the effort and failed to get the desired result, see it as the blessing it is.
You have just discovered what doesn’t work and that will help you figure out what does work.
When people are critical of you, sincerely thank them.
They have just given you a valuable perspective which can help you to become even more effective.
In the moments when frustration comes, feel the intense energy that comes with it.
Transform that energy into determination, and make it a powerful, positive force.
Even when there are good reasons to feel sorry for yourself, don’t.
Those very same reasons can be reasons to move forward with more commitment than ever before.
Whatever life may give you, choose to give goodness in return.
And nothing will be able to hold you back from the sweet fulfillment you deserve.
Ralph Marston – The Daily Motivator
Rejection is hard for me.
It’s something I need to be better at dealing with — be able to take rejection and not crumble to the ground and let it wipe away my self esteem.
Most of us face rejection but it’s especially tough when you’re at an inflection point in your life like getting a job or into the school you want.
I’ve been dealing with rejection recently and the most recent episode just shattered me.
It made me feel so small and the person made me feel so bad about myself.
I think he took pleasure in putting me down.
Part of dealing with rejection is psychology.
As in my situation, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself, then it’s clear you’re dealing with a bad, negative person.
In which case, their opinion and words about you shouldn’t matter.
So, you clearly shouldn’t let it get to you and feel worthless, which is precise what the evil person is trying to do.
That’s certainly easy to say.
If you are human, despite the above being logical, the words and actions of that mean person is bound to sting.
You just have to keep repeating to yourself that they are mean people and therefore their opinion is unimportant.
More generally, the tough part is getting over every no you receive.
No, we don’t want to hire you. No you’re not a good fit for this opportunity.
No, I don’t want to go out with you. No, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.
No, no, no, no, no.
It’ll hurt. Again it’s a mind game.
No from one person, means you can move on to another opportunity.
And if you keep trying, you’ll eventually get to yes.
That is true. It’s recently taken me many Nos to finally get to a yes.
It is hard to believe it or see it when you are facing rejection and all you’re hearing is no.
But keeping trying and you’ll find a yes.
It’s easy to lose hope and get disheartened. I certainly have been there.
I understand how difficult it is to keep going sometimes.
Some days, I would feel hopeless but I would force myself to do something.
I believe and remember Woody Allen’s quote “80% of success is showing up.”
So even when I feel terrible, I show up.
I keep knocking on doors, keep going out there to meet people because you never know which is the one situation you’ll meet someone who WILL appreciate you.
Every now and then, I had a good friend who would pull me up and remind me of all the good things I’d accomplish.
There are only a few of them and they are all living far away.
I wish my good friends lived close to me so I could see them more often.
When you’re faced with rejection, even if it’s continuous rejection,
Don’t let rejection or someone knock you down.
Find those handful of amazing friends who will lift you up and support you.
As a writer, I’m a thinker by nature. I need to think about what topics to delve into and how to best express them. But sometimes, thinking can get me into trouble.
Maybe you can relate.
Often, our thinking goes into overdrive and turns into fixating. And we end up spending (or should I say “wasting”?) a lot of time ruminating on things that don’t matter, things that keep us worried and distracted from reaching our goals.
Here are four things you can stop worrying about — forever:
We’ve all been there.
“What — THAT book is a bestseller? The plot is terrible and the writing is filled with grammatical errors!”
“My four-year-old could have come up with that!”
“I had that same idea last year. They just got lucky.”
Really, this reaction is more about us than it is about them. We could have done better if only we’d actually written that novel or pitched the idea.
But where the successful person took action, we stalled.
Action trumps perfection. Stop thinking about all the worse-than-you writers and entrepenrus who are making it big and instead, use them as motivation.
After all, if they can land that awesome assignment or end up on the bestsellers list even with all their flaws, you can do it, too. If you only forget perfection and take action.
It’s a bad idea to share your ideas and contacts in such a competitive market. After all, there’s only so much to go around, right?
In my 16-year career as a freelance writer, I’ve discovered there are more than enough opportunities for everyone.
And the more I helped out writers who wanted to brainstorm ideas or know how to contact the nutrition editor at Health magazine, the more other writers shared information and opportunities with me.
In fact, I can calculate at least $50,000 of work over the years that came from networking not with editors or agents, but with other writers who passed my name along to people needing writing.
Wall yourself off from other writers because they’re your “competition” and the universe will wall you off from writing opportunities. Instead, consider other writers your friends and colleagues, and share, share, share.
The surest way to lose your unique style and quash your brilliant ideas is to become obsessed with figuring out what the market wants.
Often, the market doesn’t even know what it wants until it gets it. How could it?
Of course, you want to create something others will like, but don’t lose your voice trying to conform to what you imagine will appeal to the largest demographic.
Maybe you’ll start a trend instead of following one.
A “no” from a gatekeeper can bring on obsessive thoughts in any person’s mind:
The people who succeed in this world are the ones who can blast past rejection.
After all, this is a numbers game. What would have happened if JK Rowling hadn’t racked up all those rejections for the Harry Potter series, or Steve Jobs had never returned to Apple after being fired from the company he started?
Rejection isn’t about you. It isn’t even about your work. It’s a sign that what you have isn’t exactly what the permission-givers need right now.
I got 500 rejections from magazine editors — at least — and still made a great living writing mainly for magazines. For me, each “no” was a stepping stone to the next “yes.”
Maybe the same can be true for you… if you can let go of what your friends are doing, what the world wants, and what the critics think — and just persevere.
Post by Linda Formichelli, who blogs at The Renegade Writer.
Every time I think I’m to write a quick short post, it never turns out that way.
I’m not sure if I should post this.
See, I started this blog as a place for humorous, fun, and good content.
Not to talk about what I’m worrying about or how I feel.
But more and more, I feel the draw to post when I’m feeling down, upset, or nervous.
I’ve mixed feelings about this as this isn’t what I want the blog to be about
While it gives you readers an understanding of what I’m facing and adds to authenticity, I’m not sure how much you all want to read about this and I don’t want to bore or annoy people.
I’m pretty affected so I’m just going to post about this. (and make it short and sweet)
There’s something that’s going on that’s making me nervous and anxious.
I’m nervous about how things will turn out and worried if the other person will take my suggestions or insist on theirs.
I hope they will be as generous as possible and they will be understanding of me and my situation.
But there is always the possibility people will strong arm their way through and have a “Take it or Leave it” attitude.
I know worrying about how someone is going to react and feel doesn’t solve or improve a situation.
But it still impacts me and makes me anxious and nervous because this is important to me.
I have a lot of other things to get done in the meanwhile but I’m finding it hard to focus and there’s this knot in my stomach.
I’m feeling little colorful jumping jelly beans inside me.
I promised you it would be short AND SWEET =) Jelly Beans are Sweet.
What do you do and how do you cope when you are nervous or anxious?
I tried pressing into 2 pressure points on my hand
(left edge of the wrist & flesh between the thumb and second finger)
but they are not helping to reduce my anxiety about the situation.
I’m going to write a letter to the person I’m speaking to about the situation and see if that will help.
Send me any advice & good wishes that the situation will turn out well for me!
Tell me how you feel about these types of post.
If the feedback is “Stop posting how you feel, no one cares!”, I won’t post such topics.
Just let me know =)
Thanks a million! ❤
I’ve been nervous for the past few hours.
I don’t know if it’s because it’s 9/11 and thus sub-consciously, I’m more alert, anxious, nervous.
Who can forget the day. It’s clear as day in my mind.
I don’t want to see any movies about it.
So maybe it’s because I’m a little more on edge.
Today, like most of my days, everything takes way too long to get done.
Or maybe I’m just inefficient or a worry wort and worry my tasks to the ground.
(Unfortunately you can’t worry tasks or anything away. If that were the case, worrying would actually be productive!)
I needed to tell someone they reversed the scheduling on one of my jobs.
I’ve been putting off emailing them as I’m afraid how they will react.
I keep worrying the Operations Admin woman might get all irritated and upset with me and blame it on me when I’ve in fact told her about this scheduling mix up 2 months ago.
In psychology, they call this Fatalistic Thinking.
Thinking the worse of a situation and snowballing the situation in your head.
So many hours later, after much worry and angst, I emailed both the Operations Admin and my colleague informing them of the mix up and for my colleague to confirm she can work on the day we discussed.
I’ve been agonizing about it.
I finally dug up the courage to check my email.
My colleague replied she could work that day as I had discussed with her.
I had a sigh of relief when I saw that and my stress levels went down.
I haven’t heard back from the Operations Admin but I feel this will limit any angry yelling from her since the schedule is all sorted out.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought!
The moral of the story: Thinking the worst of a situation only stresses yourself up for nothing. Don’t over-worry about the other person’s reaction,
especially if it’s something you’ve taken care of previously.
We often think the worse of a situation, when it usually turns out fine with much less drama than we imagine!
Now I need all of you to remind me weekly of this very good piece of advice
I’m exhausted, tired out.
Worse part is there is SO MUCH MORE to get done.
I’m not sure how I’m going to do it all
and it upsets me when I feel I can’t get it all done.
I’m not in the greatest of moods.
Then I came across this piece of wisdom which I’m going to remind myself of every time I’m sullen.
“Every day may not be good, but there’s something GOOD in every day”
I’m going find 1 thing good every day – whether I’m in a cheerful mood or grumpy.
I’m sure there is always 1 good thing that happens every day for most of us.
Let’s acknowledge and appreciate it!
Have a GREAT day Ahead! SMILE! =)
If your To Do list multiplies faster than you can check them off,
If you find yourself saying “Darn, I really wanted to get that done, why didn’t I get it done? I wish I completed it”
Chances are you’re dealing with some procrastination issues not because you want to but because there are other factors lurking.
You may be afraid of not doing a good enough job, you may be overwhelmed.
The worries that are holding you back are endless.
What’s important to remember is Just Start.
1. However small. Take the first step. and force yourself to do the first action to initiate your task/goal.
2. Break the task up into multiple smaller tasks and tell yourself you just need to get 1/5 done.
Not so scary right?
3. Commit to doing it for at least 15 minutes.
Chances are by the time you’ve picked up your pen or started typing on your computer, worked on it for 15 minutes, and gotten 1/5 done, you’ll be in the zone to keep on going to complete 1/2 or the entire task.
If you haven’t, it’s perfectly fine.
You’ve made progress. You’ve started on it.
Keep going and You’ll get it done!
Action gets things done. Waiting for the right mood does not.
(I should absolutely follow my own advice and insights….) =P
Other tips to getting things done
4. Schedule time to get that evasive goal completed. Set aside chunks of time to do the same/similar things. For example, block out an hour for email rather than interrupting your other tasks to reply to 1 email. Conversely, this ensures you do not spend your entire day answering emails. (unless that’s your job or goal)
5. Get a (very good) friend to keep track of your progress. There are professional coaches and therapists who can play this role but not everyone has the health coverage or finances to use professionals.
I’ve found that having a very good and committed friend works just as well if not better because you do not have to wait for that weekly meeting.
Tell your friend your goal and create a plan that breaks it up into smaller steps and the deadline for each step.
Get your friend to check in on you frequently. Daily is great!
If you don’t do it or have issues like procrastination, tell your friend s/he should put pressure, motivate and yell at you and keep tabs on you. Sometimes you just need tough love. =)
If you can, find a licensed psychologist who can help you with what you’re dealing and struggling with.
Whatever it is, KEEP DOING, Keep Trying, Don’t Give Up!
Love Yourself, Don’t Blame Yourself. Tell yourself you will do better next hour or tomorrow.
You will get there!