Hello all. Happy May!
WOW. Is it really May? I can’t believe it’s May. (that sounds trite)
I don’t want it to be May. That means 5/12th of the year is gone and I don’t feel i’ve gotten enough, or rather anything, done.
I know I’ve been terrible at blogging regularly. THere were so many times I had a great idea, something witty to post. But I’d say “I’m going to get ABC done and write that blog post as a reward.” or “I don’t want to boot up the laptop and I can’t write on the app…” Of course, ABC never got done because if it was easy to do, I wouldn’t have to bait myself with a reward of writing a blog post.
I REALLY wanted to write and update my blog. I do. So, why the procrastination? What kept me from doing something I really wanted to do? What kept me from doing the things I *planned* to do?
Perfectly reasonable. Except that when this goes on, it leads to a lot of possibly valid reasons for why nothing got done. As I’m writing this, I’m not sure where this is coming from because this is NOT the post I was intending to write! Maybe it’s my inner self sharing my own faults, or my inner self screaming freaking screaming for help (from you all) to save me from my faults.
The harsh reality is the world, life, and people don’t care about all those reasons, even if they are valid, if they are heartbreaking.
Most of the times we don’t get something done because we are avoiding it — consciously or subconsciously.
And, we are avoiding the item at hand because we are scared. Scared for whatever reason that you know very well deep in you. It may not be pleasant to admit, maybe you don’t want to admit you’re scared.
I know i’m scared. I don’t have someone I can admit this to. But I’m scared of more rejection, scared of how much worse things can become, scared of what i’ve become. Scared of so many things.
I know I need to help myself. I’m working on it. It isn’t smooth sailing, it isn’t easy. I fall and stumble and land in ditches, the abyss, fracture my soul, and a million more injuries. But I’m trying.
A thought came to my head today — I need to do something and help myself for God or anyone else to be able to help me. No one can help me if I hide in a corner and do nothing.
We procrastinate. We find reasons we can’t do ABC. We find other ways to make the time go by so we can say “Oh I couldn’t do ABC because ….”
Guy left the internet for a year. Yes, there are a gazillion ways, apps, sites and silly videos that will distract you for a whole day if you wanted to. There are also plenty of ways to while that time away in the physical world.
The fact is you don’t have to leave the internet for a year to get the things you want done.
We just need to face our fears and what we are scared of. Leave the safe, comfort zone that we’ve buried ourselves in and recognize staying there is getting us nowhere.
Slowly. take a step out, towards the things we want to achieve. It isn’t a straight line. It isn’t fast. But we just got to keep trying and working on it.
So let’s do this together. set out 1 thing we want to get done. And let’s make that our goal for May.
Here we go… =)
November got me started on writing regularly as part of the NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo project and I’m SO glad I did it! It’s something I’ve been wanting to do, and just somehow never felt I got the right blog layout or the right name or the right something. My friend has been telling me for awhile “Just DO IT!!” So this November I did! =)
It’s not quite what i had in mind initially but what I’ve written has been a function of the festivities and news that happened to be going on while I was blogging. My initial idea for this blog was focused alot more on amusing thoughts and ridiculous ideas in my head as well as a style/beauty aspect to it. I’m going to try to get more of those *supposedly* funny ideas from my head onto posts. And we’ll see if they get an audience.
I’m absolutely aware that very often, things sound MUCH funnier in my head till i start writing it… then it falls to pieces and crashes on its head.
So I’m going to continue writing for December and it will probably take some time to get things into shape. It’s a process and I accept it. It’s something I’ve recently learned to accept and instead of going “ARGH why isn’t it perfect NOW?!?” So, I accept that this will be a process and it will take time and we’ll see where it goes =) I’ve signed up for BlogHer’s December NaBloPoMo again and look to continue writing.
I hope you’ll enjoy my posts, share them with your friends and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments!
My other goal is to exercise and eat better for the next three weeks in December ending Dec 21. Because who are we kidding, come Christmass and New Year’s, all bets are off!! I”m pigging out!!
Due to a series of health laments, I haven’t been exercising much. So for these 3 weeks I’m going to work on exercising at least twice a week! I need to improve on my eating habits and I’m going to try my hardest to eat by 730pm or 8pm at the latest and eat healthy protein and vegetables and minimize the carbs. Yeah, I just had a HUGE Bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese earlier =P So that’s my goal for the next 3 weeks.
Share your goals with me, I’d love to hear them!
Have a great weekend! Hugs!