Friend’s husband: Are you getting married next?
Me: It would help if there was a groom to be in sight…
It would help if I were dating…
Friend’s husband: First you’d have to speak to the guy
Me: Yeah, then he’d have to actually call and ask me out.
AND, continue to ask me out till we get to the point of dating.
Instead of losing interest and disappearing after awhile
Friend’s husband: Call Him
Me: If he’s interested, he’ll know how to call
The last time I took the initiative, the guy ignore my text
The time before last, the guy went AWOL for a whole 9 mths.
The times I took initiative:
How difficult do you think dating is these days?
Let’s check based on recent news stories which pretty much tells the tale of my dating life…
You’re trying to be a size 0 and working your ass out (literally) in the gym in your little spare time because you’re trying to get your body to be as close to Mirander Kerr’s body as possible ….
for when you walk down the runway in diamond encrusted lingerie being watched in HD by millions of viewers…
As for me? I love food. I’m not going hungry to be thin.
As it is I have the toughest time keeping my weight stable.
I’ve gained 3 pounds over the last 2 days.
I’m not fat, but I’m not super-model proportions either.
This woman, Christy Morgan, lost 289 pounds over 2 years from changing her diet….. I salute her.
Her story is pretty inspiring, go read it. I’d be happy to lose 10lbs…
She says it’s all about “I CAN”.
Guess what people? I can works both ways
I CAN finish an entire bag of Cheetos in 1 sitting!!!
She’s now lighter than I am at 114lbs… that is probably not a good sign for me.
But I take deep breaths. I remember reading some self-help tips that I should breath A LOT.
I get the courage to tell the guy I’ve liked for the longest that I like him and want to spend time with him…
Not pushy. Just telling him how I feel.
Somehow I think he’s going to see me more since I’ve helped him clear the uncertainty factor.
Then, he says he wants a beauty queen with brains…. Totally depressing.
I eat half a tub of Ben & JErry’s.
I’ll have to spend the next week working that off…
Wait. I barely work out. I guess that’s not going to be a problem after all! =P
Well, I came across this while emptying the ice cream tub.
Miss Riverton, UT, Kendra Gill enjoys making home-made bombs and throwing them out of cars at night.
The Miss Riverton Organization couldn’t wait to see what she was going to accomplish this year.
Yeah, well, now they’ve seen. The wait is over.
Isn’t dating tough? You think you’ve the perfect date with beauty and brains.
You’re SO intrigued by her love for chemistry.
Than she bombs. Quite Literally.
Ha! He can get someone who’s going to blow up his house when she’s pissed with him.
Here’s brains and beauty… That’s what he wanted right??
I chuckle and feel MUCH better.
So I decide to move on to meeting someone I met online .
He seems nice. We seem to be able to have a conversation, at least we do online.
He’s educated and can write a proper sentence.
We meet up….
He couldn’t find the place and said I gave him bad directions.
His online personality is much better.
The conversation doesn’t flow. Mosquito larvae would breed if we stayed long enough.
I’m trying to make conversation with all my magical powers without it sounding like a game of Taboo.
He seems not to be making any effort to initiate conversation.
He answers my conversation topics with less than 5 words.
He seems bossy and dismissive about the things I like
(art – “what’s the point?” , animals – “There are too many to save. They’ll live or die.”)
You thought that was a bad first date? Well, I thought I had a bad first date.
Then I realize that wasn’t that bad.
This guy had a HORRIBLE first date!! Woman on Date Falls to Death from 17th Floor Balcony
Imagine the trauma and years of therapy he’ll have to go through….
The takeaway is : bad dates aren’t THAT bad. There’re worse dates (see above)
Maybe I should follow their cue and try an experiment with a guy friend I like.
A Social Experiment: 40 Days of Dating Between Friends
Yeah the only problem is I don’t think I can survive if he tells me I’m only a friend to him.
And I’m sure that will pretty much ruin the entire friendship.
Dating is difficult… to me.
How about you? Is it a breeze or tough for you?
Share your dating stories!
While watching TV…
Me: Hmm. I kind of miss being able to cook for a boyfriend…
Friend: Yeah. You mean you miss being able to cook at all…
Me: I cook!…. every now and then…
Friend: Sure. Of course you do. You cook and it’s a good outcome when no pots get burned and no fires engulf the kitchen…
Me: I’ve never burned a house down from cooking!
Friend: Great. It’s better if you don’t cook. And it’s not like you’d cook for a guy. HOW many times have you attempted to poison a boyfriend that way?
Me: I like the idea of having a boyfriend that I could hypothetically cook for… it’s sweet and romantic… and I didn’t poison any boyfriends!!
Well, there was that once I offered to cook for a guy I liked… except that it was really more of a threat…
I told him how I screwed up Carbonara a bunch of times and it ended up as soggy scrambled eggs in pasta.
And after telling that story, I offered to cook him dinner…. It worked brilliantly.
He kept saying no. So i didn’t have to cook in the end. Which I didn’t want to anyway. I just wanted to offer and make sure my offer wasn’t taken up. Thank god he wasn’t suicidal.
That was quite amusing I must say. I still chuckle when i think of that. Brilliant me.
Hollywood is great at making series/movies that for attracts us for different reasons.
Sometimes, I stay glued to the TV because what I’m watching gives me hope.
Hope — that love is just around the corner, that life will get better, that things will work out (it usually does in Hollywood). As I’m writing this, it seems ironic to say Hollywood makes shows that give us hope. because it’s usually associated with fake, false, and staged.
I was watching an episode of Enlightened (HBO) and I sat there continuing to watch it cos it gave me hope and IDEAS. It put the idea in my head of “Hmm maybe i should just call a guy and tell him I want to see him. Maybe that’ll make everything easier!” Yeah sure.
Let me give you an example of the hope Hollywood gave me vs. reality.
Amy: I was thinking of you and I miss you. How about coming over tonight?
Guy: Uhrm coming over? to your side? Uhrm, Ok sure, how about I come about 6 and pick you up for dinner?
Me: hey I was thinking of you… How about meeting up sometime this week?
Guy: uhrm, i’m not free bye. (proceeds to run away)
I’d like to emphasize this actually happened. I did that before I watched this episode. So even though i was slapped in the face by the guy, this episode made me feel like I should somehow crazily do it again.
Amy: It’s so good to see you
Guy: It’s so good to see you too.
Me: It’s so good to see you
Guy: Uhm ok. I gotta go (runs away)
Me: But you just got here…
Guy: (Speeds up and runs faster)
You get the idea.
So yes. While I was watching the episode, it was somehow moving. And that’s NOT the word most people would use to describe Enlightened. If I had to describe it I’d use words like “strange, awkward, trainwreck”. So just to be clear, it’s not some heart warming series.
But yeah it felt good watching that exchange.
Clearly, the effect is short lived since I’m sitting here writing (skeptically) about how badly the real life version would turn out. =P
But hope is wonderful. It’s great. Until it comes crashing down. Like a sugar high.
The solution? Drink more hope, eat more sugar. Don’t ever crash. Keep the high going.
Hello, I’m SO SORRY I’ve been MIA. I’ll post another post about why I haven’t been posting.
Let’s get to the fun conversation I had yesterday.
As the title post suggests, my suitor came calling yesterday ….
Side note: It sounds romantic right? =) Why doesn’t anyone speak/write this way anymore?
No one uses “My suitor” or “came calling”.
Now it’s “this guy” “texted me” or “hung out with me”. So unromantic and unclear…
Back to the conversation with my friend…
Me: My suitor came calling yesterday…
Friend: Hope you didn’t pick up the phone after THAT date…
Me: uhrm no, it was a different suitor. He came hopping into my living room more precisely…
Friend: Frogs do NOT count as suitors!!
Me: He’s NOT a frog!! He’s a PRINCE!! We just haven’t kissed yet!!!
Friend: How have things turned out this way? *sighs*
Me: I don’t know. But at least I have a persistent suitor….
Said suitor, takes the form of a young frog. I maintain He’s a Prince. Wait till we kiss!!
He often comes around and sometimes decides to hop into my living room. Since this has occurred multiple times, I consider him a persistent, dedicated suitor…. I’ve yet to get a good picture of him and will post it once I get a good one.
He’s very dark green and he only comes over at night (I know, sketchy right?) so it’s hard to get a good, clear picture.
As this post alluded to, I had a date recently… and it was, well, interesting ….
That’s another post to entertain all of you…. Might as well get a good laugh out of these less than stellar dates!
So I owe you many posts. 1. Why I’ve been MIA 2. The recent date.
Do not expect to take home “your supposed portion” of a meal after announcing you’d like a break.
I love how Domestic Diva dives straight into the Lasagna Recipe. I would have stuck on the point of “HE’s breaking up with me?!?! We weren’t even together!! Wait, there’s no WE!
I’m gonna sit here and eat that delicious farmers market lasagna (one of my favorites by the way) while he can stare in growing hunger!!
…and He’s breaking up with me???
I (capital 80 pt font) was planning on breaking up with him! I was sparing his feelings!!
Yeah, and it’s not even me. See how ruffled i get? I might be prettier ruffled if I had a beautiful shiny plumage with shimmering green and blue feathers — just like a peacock.
There is such a thing as a stupid request.
I was casually dating a guy. He was the sort of guy that was nice enough, but not really my type overall as I was quickly realizing. You know the guys that it would be better to have just been friends as opposed to date? He fell into that category…hence the “casually dating”. I was planning on ending it myself, but I knew he was really stressed with work (so I was barely seeing him anyway) so I figured I’d wait at least a little bit to not add to the stress.
One day, he came over to my house for dinner. I had just made an amazing lasagna with wild mushrooms from my local farmer’s market. I couldn’t wait to eat it.
I didn’t realize there was going to be a slight delay.
He walked in, sat down on…
View original post 616 more words
“I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music.”
I see. It makes me raise my eyebrows. That’s a make or break criteria? REally?
I won’t say much and let you read and *enjoy* this spiel of affection… and awkwardness…
=) Tell me what you think … and we can have a conversation =)
I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.
FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can’t see someone’s body language or tone of voice in an email. I’m not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I’m honest and direct by nature, and I’m going to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so that’s how I came across your email.
I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you.
Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:
-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn’t look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.
-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I’ve never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.
-You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn’t interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said–that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.
-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don’t think I’m being delusional in saying this statement.
In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.
Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don’t go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I’m curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship. Of course, it’s difficult to predict what would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).
I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.
Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we don’t, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you. In addition, even if you don’t want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as to why you wouldn’t want to go again. Normally, I wouldn’t ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception given I think we have a lot of potential.
If you don’t want to go again, then apparently you didn’t think our first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It’s good to keep that in mind. In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would go out on a second date.
If you’re not interested in going out again, then I would have preferred if you hadn’t given those mixed signals. I feel led on. We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom I’m in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music. You said that you’re planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future.
As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You’re very busy. It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part. According to the internet, you’re 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we’re a good match in terms of age. I could name more things that we have in common, but I’ll stop here. I don’t understand why you apparently don’t want to go out with me again. We have numerous things in common. I assume that you find me physically attractive. If you didn’t find me physically attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You already knew what I looked like before our date. Perhaps, you’re unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a “real” job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars.
That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it’s a real job. Donald Trump’s children work for his company. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. George Soros’s sons help manage their family investments. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer. That’s a unique characteristic; most people aren’t like that. I’ve never been as disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date as I am with you. I’ve gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI, I’m not a serial dater. Sometimes, I’ve only gone out with a woman for one date.) People don’t grow on trees. I hope you appreciate the potential we have.
Am I sensitive person? Sure, I am. I think it’s better to be sensitive than to be insensitive. There are too many impolite, insensitive people in the world.
I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too. If you don’t want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.
If you’re concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don’t want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I’m sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.
If you don’t want to go out again, that I request that you call me and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed signals). In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again. I have tried to write this email well, but it’s not perfect. Again, I’m not trying to be harsh, insulting, patronizing, etc. I’m disappointed, sad, etc. I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx> (if it’s inconvenient for you to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I’ll call you). If you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back. Even if you don’t want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone. Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.
Guy I like a lot posted a picture.
It looks like he’s at a wedding. Possibly his wedding?!?!
I do not know. But he’s looking into someone’s eyes. Dammit ARGH.
Ok, by now, I gather you realize he’s not into me.
Yeah best advice ever to women out there. LISTEN.
If he’s not calling, if he’s not asking you out, if he’s not making plans with you —
HE’s just NOT into you.
Do I know that? Yeah sure, my brain does.
My heart is an entirely different matter. It’s got a mind of it’s own. ha ha. Not so funny really.
So what do I do? I should close the photo and move on.
But NOOOoooo. I download the photo and keep on looking at it, torturing myself unnecessarily with thoughts of “WHO’s he staring at? He’s definitely flirting with a female right?? Why not meeee? Is he proposing??? Is this his wedding?!?!”
Yeah, I really should stop looking at the photo and driving myself crazy. I really should stop thinking about him and throw him into exile. But I like him — even though I know he’s wrong for me.
I like him because we have so much in common, we enjoy the same things and we have a great time hanging out together (or maybe it’s only me that thinks that seeing how he has stopped calling).
I’m smart, sassy, pleasant enough to look at and I just do NOT understand why he’s not into me.
I often get hung up on that very question – why isn’t so and so into me? Why didn’t he want to be with me?
Not because I’m looking desperately to be with someone, in fact, I’d rather be single than be with the wrong person but there definitely have been guys that I’ve come across that I would have liked to spend more time with to figure out if there was something there that could have led to a relationship. I guess their silence decided there wasn’t.
I know I’ll never get answers to my questions of “whys”. And I need to accept it.
Accepting things and improving yourself and 2 things that take a lot of hard work. More on that some other time.
So when you are totally crushed out by a guy, do not torture yourself by looking at his photo that’s possibly taken at his wedding, or where’s flirting with some girl that’s not you incessantly.
When you are crushed, go seek some friends who will make you feel better. Get or do something that will make you feel better — like having your favorite cup of tea or coffee, exercising. Just do anything that will make you feel better.
Now if only I would listen to myself instead of staring and reading into his picture again …
ps: help! sos!
Last week, I attended the wedding of a long time friend. They’re a gorgeous, wonderful couple – lots of spunk and humor! Listening to their dedications to each other, the stories from their friends, a thought hit me:
You know, dating in search of love shouldn’t be this hard and agonizing.
There really isn’t much to decode and decipher.
If he’s really attracted to you and mature enough to be looking for a real, long term relationship, he’ll call and be dependable. Not disappear for weeks, casually forget you were suppose to have dinner.
So every time I find myself thinking “why hasn’t so and so called???” and angst about it, I’m just going to shrug it off and realize it’s not the right one and move along without tearing myself up no matter how much I may like the guy.
I know what I’m about, I have a lot to give to the right person who feels the same.
It’s about finding someone who will fight for me and our relationship.
Realize all that you are and all the things you have to give to someone.
Know that you are worth fighting for!