Whatever fears you having right now, drown your fear and speedboat yourself to make things better.
Whether it’s financial fears, job fears, relationship fears, family fears, think of how you can take tiny steps and 1 – 2 things to make the situation better and go do it. Start small with tiny steps and keep going and things will improve!
If it helps, share what your fears are in the comments below, what are 1 – 2 things you can do to make it better. After you have done the 1-2 things, come share how it felt.
DROWN your FEARS! Let’s do this together!!
If any of you are struggling with a challenging time in your life, having regrets, kicking yourself for something you wish you had done differently, or blaming yourself. You are not alone. I understand and plenty of us are going through our own challenges. It gave me hope reading this that there are no mistakes in life.
We have to push through as hard as it is, to keep working on improving the situation and make things better and have hope things will be better.
I hope this gives you comfort and things improve with whatever difficulties you are facing.
One sunny day, I was driving along thinking of all the things that could have been but never were. You know how it is, reminiscing about the past, playing things out differently in your head. Fantasizing what might have been, what should have been or what you could have done better. My mind soon turned to the more negative events of my life, or what I perceived to be negative. I was thinking back to mistakes I felt I’d made, wishing them to be different, feeling regret. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted – no, they were overdubbed – by an intrusion. The intrusion (of unknown source, as I was alone) quite loudly and clearly stated:
There are no mistakes.
Wow. I have most definitely been told. Whilst I often chatter away to guides, spirit and angels, and my life is full of signs, intuitions and messages, I have never quite been shouted at in that manner. I guess some divine something felt it was important that I heard that and took it on board!
I love that philosophy. Let’s see it again: There are no mistakes. (Click to tweet)
Well, that is a relief! This feeds wonderfully into the belief that everything happens for a reason and that all things good, bad and indifferent serve a purpose in our personal and spiritual growth.
The fact that there are no mistakes can be a hard one to fathom, particularly if you are in the midst of feeling regret, guilt or sorrowful for some past action. I am sure there have been times in your life when you have held your head in your hands and cursed your own name for something that you have said or done.
In living by the mantra that nothing is a mistake, we do not vindicate ourselves from responsibility, but instead we can intelligently seek out the meaning behind our actions and their repercussions. No matter how misguided they may seem, or how much regret we feel, we can utilize our mistakes as a valuable opportunity. Mistakes are simply fresh chances for us to learn.
Do not misunderstand me. Regret is a real thing. Regret is a struggle and a torture that can summon up a lifetime of misery. If only…? What if…? Perhaps if I had…? Regret is real, because like so many other human thoughts, we attach ourselves to it, we make it a part of our persona and we exhaust ourselves mentally by almost becoming it. But whilst it is real, it is also not real. It is a perspective. Perspective can be shifted.
I believe that as little sparks of soul in a human body we are duty bound to shift our perspective. We must take those regrets and alleged mistakes and change them into something else, something more positive. This is true for all negative emotions: fear, sadness, pain, anger, stress, despair, depression and delusion.
We must realize that these negative thoughts and their associated emotions result from our own minds. No matter what terrible choices we have made, or what horrible events have befallen us, we have the choice to grieve for these for the rest of our time here. Or, alternatively we must find a way to cope.
And in my mind, the best way to cope is to turn a tragedy into a full-scale personal revolution that leads us straight up to our personal heaven’s door.
Regret can be a huge burden on your soul. I suggest you make efforts from this day forward to live differently with your regret and your mistakes. Try to see the value in them; reframe them to see the learning that you can achieve and then release the emotion that makes you feel bad about yourself. But first this…
Take a piece of paper. Write on it everything you regret, everything you think you could have done better or differently.
Then write down your emotions about this, how it makes you feel about yourself and the other people involved. Take this piece of paper, find a fireproof pot, go outside and burn that piece of paper. Burn it the hell up.
Maybe sit and meditate on this for a few minutes, mull it over with a cup of tea. Allow the relief and the joy to replace any old, worn, tired feelings of regret that you hold. You are now free. You are officially reframed.
You have a fresh slate – one that you can base your spirituality and your life upon. From now on look at your life through the eyes of a person determined to learn. Become a master of your existence and remember this always… There Are No Mistakes.
If you’re going through the same, I’m here to offer you my hugs and love.
Drop me a note , there’s nothing like knowing you’re not alone.
Gosh. How did we get to February so fast?It’s been a blur.
The project I’m working on has close to completely taken over my life and the past month.
It’s been long days, over 12 hours every day.
I know there is value in taking home a paycheck in itself
The weekends pass in a short dash and the special, prized weekend time seems to evaporate quickly without anything notable to speak of.
Sunday arrives and I feel down.
Today is one of those days I’m down and depressed.
Life can be hard enough just getting through and surviving.
The problem multiplies because I want meaning in my life,
because I have a passion,
and I want to do what I’m passionate about.
This makes life exponentially harder.
It’s hard enough finding a job to earn a decent paycheck to pay the bills,
getting through each day to just get to the weekend.
I look forward to the weekend and it whizzes by.
When you add MORE demands on your life and yourself,
including BIG ones such as
wanting your life to have purpose
and doing what you love in addition to paying the bills,
it adds more demands and stress on your life,
on my life, because I’m trying to do more with the same amount of time and there are some times I just can’t do both.
This depression set in last night when I was in bed thinking, my work has no meaning,
it doesn’t make a difference — it doesn’t make me fulfilled,
and it’s not making a difference to the world.
The only purpose it serves is the paycheck I get in exchange for spending my hours and life doing something I see as meaningless.
I’m willing to say I may be wrong and it may benefit the world in some way — I just don’t recognize it now.
Yet what would make a difference to me is something that is sufficient for me to live on.
The work I love and am passionate about, Unfortunately, doesn’t even cover my necessities.
I could work on it for hours and I feel fulfilled and happy.
Secondly, because I want to make a difference with my life, I do want to spend more time every month volunteering.
I’m in transition and I’m already having difficulty coping with this job and project so to add another demand on my time, of a monthly or biweekly volunteer activity creates further stress on me and my schedule.
I feel trapped in a state of unhappiness where I know I need to earn an income to pay the bills but doing so means I can’t do the work I love. So I’m just getting through each day, earning enough to pay the bills so I can continue for another day but devoid of the passion and joy that comes with doing what I love.
It feels like life on life support. Passing each day alive but not living life.
I don’t have a solution which makes me even more upset.
I can’t see the purpose or point of living this way.
This is when passion kills. When you know what you love but you can’t do it and it makes you miserable.
Often times, I wish I was like all these people — happy to get through life, content to have a job and earn a paycheck and accept that as life.
Not to have a passion or seek meaning in life.
Less pressure on yourself, on your time, on your life.
What do I do with the feelings of passion and desire to achieve purpose and meaning with my life?
Did you find a way to balance your job and what you love?
Happy New Year!
I hope all of you had a good new year and holiday season whether you spent it at home or out at a big party celebrating!
It’s a new year, a new start, and another 365 days of possibilities.
Here’s to a great year ahead for all of us — one that is filled with happiness and realization of goals.
Like myself, you may enjoy making a list of things to achieve during the year, writing down 3 or 20 resolutions. Or perhaps you don’t believe in resolutions or maybe your life is close to perfect so there’s not much more you’re asking for.
Whichever category you fall in, here’s a way to live your year the way you want it.
Choose one word and work at living your year that way.
I chose Happy.
I want to be happier this year, I want this to be a happier year.
I need more happiness.
And while I said choose one word, I’m adding on a related point which is to be less stressed about everything.
I need to be less stressed out about things and be happier.
There we go! That’s how my year is going to be for me– a happy happier year!
The irony is, it’s going to take alot of work and effort to the happy and happier.
We’re only into the 4th day of the new year and I’ve already been fighting to live my hours and days that way (the happier way).
New Year’s day, I was tired, sleep deprived and stressed out about all the new year emails I wanted to send to say hi and reconnect with people. I spent the whole day doing that.
By the time evening came around, I had a headache and was slightly dizzy and had to drag myself to a pre-arranged dinner. Dinner dragged on too long and I was even more tired by the time I reached home.
I was grouchy and resented having to appear at the dreaded work desk the next day.
I was annonyed, pissed, irritated and stressed because I hadn’t sent out all the emails I wanted to.
Basically I was the opposite of happy and less stressed. Not a good start.
2nd day I grouchily dragged myself to get to my work desk and begrudgingly sat through the day, wishing it would be over. Working on a document write up, I had a draft which I hoped would just require a few changes. But NO. The person had a whole lot of new ideas to add which meant MORE Work for me.
2nd January — I am NOT in the mood to work. Again, not exactly happy.
This morning started out well, I forced myself to wake up early and go for a yoga class.
Then it got a little rough. I had things to do but was paralyzed fear and took me awhile to get started.
I managed to get 2 hours of work done which wasn’t much but better something than nothing.
Segue to tonight, I met with a friend for dinner which was nice. We had drinks and pasta and chatted the night away. A improvement on being happier.
I’m working at being happy and less stressed.
A few minutes ago, I could feel the stress creeping up as I thought about the emails I haven’t replied to and the things i need to take care of this weekend that I haven’t started on.
It was enough to get me into a bad mood.
Then I reminded myself, I need to live the year happy.
I took a deep breath and started this post.
I am going to work at be happier and having happy year.
I can do it. And I will be happier.
I’m going to reply to those emails and take it in stride, and stress out less about it.
That’s the plan =)
What’s the one word you chose to define your year?
Today, I saw someone painting. It made me miss it.
I’m in the midst of a transition, trying to earn some stable income.
So, I barely have time to get the mundane bits of life in order much less having time for my creative work.
(read: laundry, prescription refills, getting meals together etc.)
I had a thought.
Let’s write our life story, the way we want our life to be and how our life will improve in 2014.
As we look forward to 2014, let’s all do this.
Write down the life you want and envision for yourself.
Write it in absolute terms, manifest and envision the life you want.
Don’t use words like “try” “if only” ” I wish”
Assume those conditions will surface and write what you want to do with you life.
The year is coming to a close, and I’ll write another post on my reflections.
For now, here’s how I envision my life and how I want to live my life and days.
To have the financial security and work on my creative work, pursue my passion and deepen my skill.
I will have a clear desk where I can paint. I’ll set aside a day or two every week to paint
Be disciplined and write everyday through a combination of practice writing exercises, my stories, and finish the draft storyboard of the short film I’ve had in mind for years.
I’ll enjoy the freedom and flexibility of my days and life instead of being stressed daily about paying the bills.
Take the time to have a cup of coffee by the window and just admire the flowers on the still instead of worrying about the bills.
While I was freelancing, I spent majority of my time and energy worrying about the bills and income.
If and when I am back freelancing, I will enjoy it and not worry myself agonizing about money.
Worrying will not change the situation, I might as well enjoy it.
I will make good use of my time, read more and build on my knowledge
I will spend time with people who are dear to me and put aside time every month to volunteer and help the less fortunate.
I will be healthier and get back into a regular exercise routine.
I will be kinder to myself, stop stressing out myself, laugh more, live well, and be happy.
This is the life I want to live.
Ah Christmas! I love Christmas and any holiday that puts me and most people in a happy mood.
My favorite Christmases are those spent with fresh snow falling and waking up to the slight chill with the scent of pine trees in the air.
It’s one of those beautiful things in life.
I hope you’re enjoying this holiday season.
What makes Christmas even better is …
Carry Mistletoe in your bag for the entire month of December.
Whenever you see a cute guy or the guy you’ve had a crush on for months, whip out the Mistletoe immediately, Hold it above your head.
Look at him innocently and say “Tradition calls for it….”
Look at the mistletoe and raise your shoulders in a “I can’t do anything about it…” manner
Hope he leans in to kiss you and TA-DA.
Magic moment kiss!!! (Hopefully it’s good. If not, you can cross out the crush and move on.)
If you’ve been celebrating Christmas for just one day, I hate to break it to you that you’re doing it all wrong.
Most people have forgotten Christmas is a 12 day holiday celebration!!
12 days of feasting, drinking, celebration, presents to self and pure happiness!!
Which means you should be celebrating from Dec 25 to Jan 5 EVERY YEAR!
I’m still waiting for someone to gift me those 3 french hens and 12 golden rings….
I hope you’re all having a wonderful holiday season!
Share what you love about the holidays and I’m sending everyone holiday cheer and happiness!
Many of us look at our life, fairly convinced that if a few aspects were better, we’d be much happier.
If I had a better job, I would worry less about money and be happier.
If my partner was more understanding, I would be happier
If I had more money, I could look prettier.
Sometimes it also takes the form of wishing for some other aspect of someone else’s life.
If I had job, like Tom’s, I would worry less about money and be happier.
If my partner was more understanding, like Mary, I would be happier
If I had more money, like Grace who has a trust fund, I could look prettier.
We live with these thoughts on a regular basis. Maybe not daily.
But every week, every month, they’re sitting there with as as our regular companions.
Assuring us how much better and happier our life would be if only a few aspects would be better.
Days are spent trying to make it better, wondering how you are going to get through the next day or week.
The dissatisfaction piles up to a sharp climax where you decide you’ve had enough.
You need a change. It’s going to be better.
Maybe it’s a revelation in your life. or maybe an impulse. Perhaps a mid life crisis.
It’s impossible to know which it truly is.
You make some HUGE decision in your life that drastically alters your life. You believe this will lead you to happiness.
You change your job from something you have been grinding at to pay the bills to something you love.
Which means you have to start from scratch. You swear you will be happier doing what you love even if it pays much less.
You move to a place you’ve always dreamt about living in.
Convinced life will be better and you will be happier.
You embark on that journey, overflowing with conviction you are right. You’ve made a big, brave move.
You will be happier, life will be better.
And then you realize as you walk on that journey, it’s not a smooth sailing path to the better life and happiness you thought.
There are new problems. Maybe even the old problems linger, resurface.
There are downsides you didn’t predict before.
You’ve taken this huge step towards your dream life, what you always thought would make you happier.
Only to find out, this direction has it’s problems as well.
What we think our happier life would be, someone else’s picture perfect life we wish we could have
It’s greener and sparkling with beauty from a distance.
Up close and threading on it, you realize it’s not a smooth road.
It has its own problems, different ones perhaps, but problems anyway.
It doesn’t necessarily solve the old problems.
After making a huge sharp turn in your life, you realize much of life and decisions you make, is about trade offs.
The sign you put up that read “This way to happier” bears its own course and trials.
You will never know until you try.
But you may try and realize the hike to Happier lets you down.
Have you made a big decision in your life that would make you happier? Share your story and journey!
Read about Anna’s story of packing up her life and moving countries on the road to Happier
You can read more about her story at http://www.kansies.com/
If you have been disappointed, take heart. For you are also in a great place from which to start.
When you’ve made the effort and failed to get the desired result, see it as the blessing it is.
You have just discovered what doesn’t work and that will help you figure out what does work.
When people are critical of you, sincerely thank them.
They have just given you a valuable perspective which can help you to become even more effective.
In the moments when frustration comes, feel the intense energy that comes with it.
Transform that energy into determination, and make it a powerful, positive force.
Even when there are good reasons to feel sorry for yourself, don’t.
Those very same reasons can be reasons to move forward with more commitment than ever before.
Whatever life may give you, choose to give goodness in return.
And nothing will be able to hold you back from the sweet fulfillment you deserve.
Ralph Marston – The Daily Motivator
Rejection is hard for me.
It’s something I need to be better at dealing with — be able to take rejection and not crumble to the ground and let it wipe away my self esteem.
Most of us face rejection but it’s especially tough when you’re at an inflection point in your life like getting a job or into the school you want.
I’ve been dealing with rejection recently and the most recent episode just shattered me.
It made me feel so small and the person made me feel so bad about myself.
I think he took pleasure in putting me down.
Part of dealing with rejection is psychology.
As in my situation, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself, then it’s clear you’re dealing with a bad, negative person.
In which case, their opinion and words about you shouldn’t matter.
So, you clearly shouldn’t let it get to you and feel worthless, which is precise what the evil person is trying to do.
That’s certainly easy to say.
If you are human, despite the above being logical, the words and actions of that mean person is bound to sting.
You just have to keep repeating to yourself that they are mean people and therefore their opinion is unimportant.
More generally, the tough part is getting over every no you receive.
No, we don’t want to hire you. No you’re not a good fit for this opportunity.
No, I don’t want to go out with you. No, I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.
No, no, no, no, no.
It’ll hurt. Again it’s a mind game.
No from one person, means you can move on to another opportunity.
And if you keep trying, you’ll eventually get to yes.
That is true. It’s recently taken me many Nos to finally get to a yes.
It is hard to believe it or see it when you are facing rejection and all you’re hearing is no.
But keeping trying and you’ll find a yes.
It’s easy to lose hope and get disheartened. I certainly have been there.
I understand how difficult it is to keep going sometimes.
Some days, I would feel hopeless but I would force myself to do something.
I believe and remember Woody Allen’s quote “80% of success is showing up.”
So even when I feel terrible, I show up.
I keep knocking on doors, keep going out there to meet people because you never know which is the one situation you’ll meet someone who WILL appreciate you.
Every now and then, I had a good friend who would pull me up and remind me of all the good things I’d accomplish.
There are only a few of them and they are all living far away.
I wish my good friends lived close to me so I could see them more often.
When you’re faced with rejection, even if it’s continuous rejection,
Don’t let rejection or someone knock you down.
Find those handful of amazing friends who will lift you up and support you.
As a writer, I’m a thinker by nature. I need to think about what topics to delve into and how to best express them. But sometimes, thinking can get me into trouble.
Maybe you can relate.
Often, our thinking goes into overdrive and turns into fixating. And we end up spending (or should I say “wasting”?) a lot of time ruminating on things that don’t matter, things that keep us worried and distracted from reaching our goals.
Here are four things you can stop worrying about — forever:
We’ve all been there.
“What — THAT book is a bestseller? The plot is terrible and the writing is filled with grammatical errors!”
“My four-year-old could have come up with that!”
“I had that same idea last year. They just got lucky.”
Really, this reaction is more about us than it is about them. We could have done better if only we’d actually written that novel or pitched the idea.
But where the successful person took action, we stalled.
Action trumps perfection. Stop thinking about all the worse-than-you writers and entrepenrus who are making it big and instead, use them as motivation.
After all, if they can land that awesome assignment or end up on the bestsellers list even with all their flaws, you can do it, too. If you only forget perfection and take action.
It’s a bad idea to share your ideas and contacts in such a competitive market. After all, there’s only so much to go around, right?
In my 16-year career as a freelance writer, I’ve discovered there are more than enough opportunities for everyone.
And the more I helped out writers who wanted to brainstorm ideas or know how to contact the nutrition editor at Health magazine, the more other writers shared information and opportunities with me.
In fact, I can calculate at least $50,000 of work over the years that came from networking not with editors or agents, but with other writers who passed my name along to people needing writing.
Wall yourself off from other writers because they’re your “competition” and the universe will wall you off from writing opportunities. Instead, consider other writers your friends and colleagues, and share, share, share.
The surest way to lose your unique style and quash your brilliant ideas is to become obsessed with figuring out what the market wants.
Often, the market doesn’t even know what it wants until it gets it. How could it?
Of course, you want to create something others will like, but don’t lose your voice trying to conform to what you imagine will appeal to the largest demographic.
Maybe you’ll start a trend instead of following one.
A “no” from a gatekeeper can bring on obsessive thoughts in any person’s mind:
The people who succeed in this world are the ones who can blast past rejection.
After all, this is a numbers game. What would have happened if JK Rowling hadn’t racked up all those rejections for the Harry Potter series, or Steve Jobs had never returned to Apple after being fired from the company he started?
Rejection isn’t about you. It isn’t even about your work. It’s a sign that what you have isn’t exactly what the permission-givers need right now.
I got 500 rejections from magazine editors — at least — and still made a great living writing mainly for magazines. For me, each “no” was a stepping stone to the next “yes.”
Maybe the same can be true for you… if you can let go of what your friends are doing, what the world wants, and what the critics think — and just persevere.
Post by Linda Formichelli, who blogs at The Renegade Writer.
BOO! Happy Halloween! Trick or Treat ya all!
I’m back! Was away from awhile and unable to post due to a crazy schedule and unreliable internet connection.
I’m back and will posting again!
What’s everyone’s costumes and plans for Halloween?
I love the scary houses and seeing adults and kids dressed up to trick or treat!
Here’s some Halloween Pumpkin for you to enjoy!
As you walk around tonight trick or treating, bear in mind…
Drinking tea from a mug, chatting with girlfriends
Me: The measure of a good boyfriend is one who…
(runs in & exclaims)
Abby: measures longer than 6 inches???
Me: No, Abby NO!! That’s not what I meant…
Abby: So you like it small?!?!?
Me: NO, NO!!
Abby: I’m confused…
Yesterday was a terrible day. HORRIBLE.
Is the proximity of the moon to earth making people mean and fragile?
I don’t know
The Bloggess has her view on this
I started yesterday full of hope.
I was in line to win a project and was scheduled to meet with a two senior people overseeing the project.
I’ve stayed up nights to do extra reading to be as well prepared as I could be.
My first meeting went well enough.
The second meeting very quickly down the tube.
The Director pretty much shot done all my experience and said it didn’t count.
In the end, he said he wasn’t going to recommend me for the project.
I am not good at arguing with people and someone else would probably have done a much better job of refuting him.
I didn’t. I looked at him and just tried to keep my calm and not cry.
The guy trampled and trashed all my experience and made me feel like crap, that I was worthless because my recent experience wasn’t what he demanded based on his specific criteria.
Sitting on his high horse, with his big title and pay check, he just went on say I couldn’t execute the project on the same level of expertise as the rest of the team.
He failed to realize how difficult and it challenging it was for me to work on a project basis.
Could he do it instead? Get up every day and go out and pitch himself to get projects to work on?
Hear no no no no no the entire day and weeks on end but continue to persevere to look out for projects?
He didn’t bother 1 bit to recognize the qualities it takes to do that and give me credit for me.
He just shot me down, labelled my experience lacking, and trampled all over me.
It was SO EASY for him to flick me off like a pesky fly.
What was an easy, thoughtless, simple decision to slam the door in my face meant a drastic loss of opportunity for me.
This is the part that kills me.
It is that flick of a moment that changes the course of your life.
I was SO close to getting the project.
If not for him, I would have had a decent to good shot at getting the project.
But in his one moment of whim, he slammed close the door and as a result it is a huge loss to me.
I was passionate about the project, it is something I really want to do and can do.
It would have been an incredibly journey to work on it.
And, he’s taken that away from me and made me feel like crap.
Everyday he wakes up. He goes to his office and sits there knowing he will get a big fat paycheck at the end of the month.
Every week, I have to go out and look for people I can pitch to, try to get projects to work on.
I never know how much I will make in a month or whether it will be an empty month.
I’ve been crying since yesterday evening, into the night, and this morning when I woke up.
I went to sleep shivering from the pain of my misery.
I wanted to stop trying. Why bother to try and achieve my ambitions to be told my experience and work means nothing.
I should just go back to a simple job, be a waitress or a cashier. Forget my work goals.
I didn’t feel like doing anything but I had a girlfriend I hadn’t seen in a long time who was in town.
I felt like crap but I wanted to see her.
I just hoped I wouldn’t burst into tears.
We sat. We talked. I told her I was upset, and possibly emotionally unstable.
She listened and helped me see the other angle.
The logical side of me knew I shouldn’t let this guy pull me down and make me feel so bad about myself and my accomplishments.
But his judgement cut so deep.
This is what great friends do. They support you.
Today, my girlfriend saved the day and helped pick me up while I crumbled.
My girlfriend told me to look at all the things I had accomplished in a variety of areas.
So the guy refused to recognize it. So what? The fact was I had achieved so many things
She told me to believe in myself.
I told her about a project I’ve been working on.
She told me to stop downplaying it and be proud of it.
Instead of saying it’s just a small project, own it and say I’m spreading the message for this organization as their spokesperson.
I don’t think she quite realized how badly and deeply I was hurting.
Because of course, I downplayed that too.
I hadn’t seen her in over a year and I was more excited to see her and didn’t want to dampen our meetup.
At this point, as I’m trying to type it out, I’ve forgotten most of what she said.
She made me feel better by helping me to recognize my talents and accomplishments.
She saved the day and gave me hope that I could work through it.
She probably won’t see this but I’m so thankful for her, her friendship and support.
I’m still hurting, but I’m feeling a little better.
Maybe I’ll be fine tomorrow.
What’s the moral of the story here?
1. Do not let them get to you (yeah, self, please take note…). Do not let them destroy you.
There are many mean bullies who will take advantage of their superior position to put you down.
Do you really want to let some bully you will not have anything to do with stop you from your progress? NO.
2. Reframe. Remind yourself of what you’ve accomplished, how far you have gotten.
Someone doesn’t recognize your value, but another person will.
Most of all, you must recognize your own value.
You need to believe in yourself to continue your journey to reach your goal.
How else can you convince someone else in your ability?
3. Have amazing friends who will support you through the tough times.
I’ve learned this the hard way.
I’ve struggled a lot recently and some friends I thought would be there for me turned out to be a great disappointment.
When you are walking in the dark, you’ll find out who will be there to help you, encourage you, and support you.
The ones who will help you see yourself in a positive light instead of making you feel worse than you feel.
I’m so thankful for the few friends who have helped and support me. They will probably not read this.
But I’m so glad they are in my life and I’m so thankful for them.
Has someone put you down or marginalized your contribution at work?
Share what did you do and how you got over the pain?
Friend’s husband: Are you getting married next?
Me: It would help if there was a groom to be in sight…
It would help if I were dating…
Friend’s husband: First you’d have to speak to the guy
Me: Yeah, then he’d have to actually call and ask me out.
AND, continue to ask me out till we get to the point of dating.
Instead of losing interest and disappearing after awhile
Friend’s husband: Call Him
Me: If he’s interested, he’ll know how to call
The last time I took the initiative, the guy ignore my text
The time before last, the guy went AWOL for a whole 9 mths.
The times I took initiative:
Cute animals, big doggy smiles make me feel better.
Not enough to alleviate my stress but some Cute is better than no Cute.
So here’s your BIG Smile and Cute for the Day!
I previously posted about how there’s something good in every day.
Especially when it’s one of those bad days,
it’s all the more important to find just 1 good thing to be thankful for.
I’ve been stressed recently as I mentioned because of a project I’m discussing about.
Since I wrote that post, I’ve been walking around for the past few days with this immense pressure and stress over my head because of the absurdly high demands placed on the project.
The requirements are so crazy high, it feels unreasonable.
It’s one of those situations I hate. I feel people are putting up an absurdly high bar that can’t be reached.
I decided to reach out to 2 friends about it.
And they both took the time to talk to me about it, think about it and offer their thoughts, philosophy & perspective.
The underlying issue still exists, but on these days, boy
I’m sure SO THANKFUL for my friends who will take the time and effort from their day to talk to me and comfort me.
This is when you know you have good friends. I’m so thankful for them. ❤
So that’s my 1 good thing I’m thankful for.
In the meanwhile, I need to work on handling the pressure and stress so it doesn’t affect me this much.
Not easy but I’m working on it.
This is what my friend told me & I’ll try to keep it in mind
— Eat the anxiety & worry, don’t let it eat me. Run after it and tell it to go away
How’s your day going? What’s your 1 good thing today?
I’ve been nervous for the past few hours.
I don’t know if it’s because it’s 9/11 and thus sub-consciously, I’m more alert, anxious, nervous.
Who can forget the day. It’s clear as day in my mind.
I don’t want to see any movies about it.
So maybe it’s because I’m a little more on edge.
Today, like most of my days, everything takes way too long to get done.
Or maybe I’m just inefficient or a worry wort and worry my tasks to the ground.
(Unfortunately you can’t worry tasks or anything away. If that were the case, worrying would actually be productive!)
I needed to tell someone they reversed the scheduling on one of my jobs.
I’ve been putting off emailing them as I’m afraid how they will react.
I keep worrying the Operations Admin woman might get all irritated and upset with me and blame it on me when I’ve in fact told her about this scheduling mix up 2 months ago.
In psychology, they call this Fatalistic Thinking.
Thinking the worse of a situation and snowballing the situation in your head.
So many hours later, after much worry and angst, I emailed both the Operations Admin and my colleague informing them of the mix up and for my colleague to confirm she can work on the day we discussed.
I’ve been agonizing about it.
I finally dug up the courage to check my email.
My colleague replied she could work that day as I had discussed with her.
I had a sigh of relief when I saw that and my stress levels went down.
I haven’t heard back from the Operations Admin but I feel this will limit any angry yelling from her since the schedule is all sorted out.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought!
The moral of the story: Thinking the worst of a situation only stresses yourself up for nothing. Don’t over-worry about the other person’s reaction,
especially if it’s something you’ve taken care of previously.
We often think the worse of a situation, when it usually turns out fine with much less drama than we imagine!
Now I need all of you to remind me weekly of this very good piece of advice
Zoey says “I want you to really commit to me.”
My muscles tense up immediately.
It makes me nervous. VERY nervous.
My instinct is to run.
I try to escape but am blocked by a bed, the wall, and Zoey.
She wants me to take things to the next level
She wants me to believe in her
That’s the commitment she needs.
She tells me not to be afraid of pain.
ARE you KIDDING ME??
This is freaking scary.
I look down. I see the faded blue carpet. I’m not ready.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Maybe someday.
Not now, not next week, not even next month.
I move my arms as fast as I can in a slow manner, trying not to let on I’m gathering my things to leave.
Honestly, she can probably see I’m trying to get away.
My bag and jacket in hand, I say “I need some time to think about it”
I stand up from the table slowly, “I should go…”
She asks gently, knowing she’s tipped the balance with her demand, “When am I seeing you again?”
I’m just 8 steps from the door. Almost out.
I try to act normal, replying ;”I’m not sure of my schedule yet. I’ll call you… When I can. Bye”
I scurry out.
Yeah my alternative medical therapist wants to take things to the next level
so she can poke me with needles. She says it will help my ankle heal.
Ok ok fine it’s Acupuncture. It’s legit. She’s certified. But STILL!
Do you get your tire punctured on purpose? NO.
Does a punctured tire miraculously heal and become newer than it was before? NO.
You know why it’s called AcuPUNCTURE?
Because it involves puncturing my skin with holes
(I DON’T care how tiny they are!! They are still Holes!)
and maybe even puncturing my organs!!
Actually skin is an organ so in effect, YES. It’s a practice of puncturing my organ!
Thank You but I’ll PASS on that. You keep that for yourself honey!
I’m scared of needles & I hold off getting injections when I’m sick unless I’m left with no other options.
Sharp objects poking into my skin and nerve endings voluntarily? BLURGH
now she wants to poke me with MANY sharp objects. HELLO?!?
It’s not you. It’s me.
Maybe it’s you. Actually, it IS You.
You and Your needles.
I’m sorry this relationship did not work out…..
As I made it clear previously, I suggest focusing on beautiful Scarlett ScarJo instead of her ring.
But I’m sure some of you REALLY want to see the ring in detail.
It features a 3 large diamonds in a row.
So here it is. This is a good photo because you can admire her beautiful cleavage and ring at the same time. We are all winners!
This engagement ring is much different from her previous ring from Ryan Reynolds, which was a simple round diamond approximately 3 carat in size. Which do you prefer?
The other newly engaged celebrity is Katie Couric who spotted a cushion cut diamond (square with rounded edges) surrounded by smaller diamonds. A fairly traditional design.
Katie Couric and fiance John Molner being playful. Maybe he offered to get her a small ring to minimize the attention. Haha!
In celebrity news and gossip because hey don’t we all love being in the know & escaping our lives just for a little bit?
Well, ScarJo Scarlett Johansson is engaged after a 9 month relationship with Journalist Romain Czydxud(ok that’s not really his last name, it’s one of those difficult to remember or pronounce so what’s the difference really?).
Everyone’s trying to blow up pictures of her hand to get a close up of her engagement ring.
It’s a unique art deco ring with 3 large stones in the middle.
Ok. Fine. I love shiny baubles and diamonds and rings.
Let’s cut to the star.
LOOK at her gorgeous , amazing cleavage!!!
THAT’s what’s important!! OMG. Holy Amazing Cow Duck Dragon!
Oggle away… at ScarJo … or her ring…
Hey, I can appreciate beauty, aesthetics, and cleavage as much as the next guy or girl.
You can keep staring at that picture. You do not have to read on.
I wouldn’t hold it against you. I understand. FULLY.
Other celebrities have engagement news too!
Katie Couric has found love again after the loss of her first husband to cancer in 1998.
She’s Newly engaged to banker John Molner.
I’ve loved her shows especially during the time she hosted Today.
Happy for her she found love again!
Lastly, there’s hot speculation long time friends and former co-stars Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are now engaged.
Dating since April 2012, Mila was recently spotted with a simple gold band on her fourth finger while out buying flowers.
In any case, it’s a matter of time before they make it official
As they say, Good things comes in threes, except for ScarJo’s cleavage.
ScarJo, Katie, Mila. 3 Hot Successful Celebrities Engaged at the same time.
Love must be in the air!
Somehow, I seem to have a neck for getting into conversations that sound questionable and situations that seem dubious …
I might as well give some good laughs… (see? wasn’t that questionable?)
Jen: You think he’s shown it to you so you’re on the privileged list.
WHO ELSE is he showing it?
Maybe he’s showing it to everyone else!
Me: Hmm. good point
Abby (comes in yelling): WHAT is he showing you?!?!!
I wanna see too!!!
(note: no, it’s not what you think… It just sounds very scandalous =P)
I’m exhausted, tired out.
Worse part is there is SO MUCH MORE to get done.
I’m not sure how I’m going to do it all
and it upsets me when I feel I can’t get it all done.
I’m not in the greatest of moods.
Then I came across this piece of wisdom which I’m going to remind myself of every time I’m sullen.
“Every day may not be good, but there’s something GOOD in every day”
I’m going find 1 thing good every day – whether I’m in a cheerful mood or grumpy.
I’m sure there is always 1 good thing that happens every day for most of us.
Let’s acknowledge and appreciate it!
Have a GREAT day Ahead! SMILE! =)
Saying “I am a VP at Google” is bound to get admiration and approval from other people you interact with .
Being able to say you have a insert big title at Famous Company
will no doubt make you a success in most people’s eyes.
Go to a cocktail party and every one will label you successful, accomplished.
Go on a date, you’ll be seen as achieving, smart.
Make new friends at the gym and they will be impressed.
Yes, yes, yes. There is a lot of positive reinforcement to achieving career success.
It is a good thing.
But is that the only indicator of success & self worth?
Does your job make you truly happy in your heart?
Not the money or fame you get but the actual job.
Happier than doing what you love?
Happier than spending time with the people you love?
Do you know what you love doing?
There is more to life than your job.
Life is more than getting a huge title at big company.
Doing what fulfills you, what is important to you may mean
making unconventional choices and taking an unpopular path in life.
Others will judge you.
Don’t let their superficial judgement make you feel less about yourself.
Do what fulfills you, what makes you happy.
You’ll be happier living your life than someone else’s life.
You can skip to the illustrated story here. or keep reading…. =)
“Live a good life. And in the end it’s not the years in a life, it’s the life in the years.”
If you have a passion, nurturing and staying connected to that passion is important.
It keeps you motivated and happy.
You might have a great business idea, a better way to do something, a superior product.
And you decide to leave that comfortable corporate job to start your company doing just that.
Maybe you have a family and you realize how quickly the kids are going to grow up
even if they are a handful and take up so much of your time now.
You may want to consciously spend enough time with them before they reach the age
where they only want to hang out with their friends and lock themselves up in their room.
Hopefully you have a list of things you’d like to do or learn.
When I spoke to someone about leaving their job (which was making them miserable),
the person exclaimed “What would I do with all that time?”
I felt sad for the middle aged person who lived long enough,
had gotten all the big titles at a major company but was empty inside and had no interests.
If you’re middle aged and have nothing you want to try or learn or interests to pursue,
You have no idea who you are or what you are about.
You just chased the other rats in the rat race and got ahead.
Some of us in a moment of revelation or sign of insanity, take a plunge
and decide other parts of our life are important enough
to break away from the lemming masses running over themselves to get the bigger title, better job.
If you are one of those people, Good for you. Keep doing it!
Don’t let others who snub you get you down.
If you have a dream of someday doing something others call “crazy” ,
Keep working on it and when the time is ripe, make your dream happen!
It’s not going to be easy but take a deep breath, find the people who will support you (those are your true friends) and go for it.
The trouble is most measure and judge others by their jobs and tittles.
They see it as the main sign of how successful, wealthy, and accomplished you are.
They fail to understand there is much more to life than the job or title.
Of course, such people only want to associate with successful, wealthy people.
Why waste time with people who won’t benefit you by introducing you to
other important people or throwing you a piece of business?
That person who chose to pursue a passion that pays little.
They are nothing, unimportant, possibly a failure.
Over the weekend, I had to tolerate such people around a dinner table.
They didn’t want to talk to me, and give me the evil eye every time I said something.
In their eyes, because I no longer had a big title, I was inferior and a failure and they made that very clear.
I’ve seen them a couple of times and they’ve snubbed me.
Did it hurt? sure.
I told myself, I wasn’t going to let their superficial values and judgement cloud my own sense of self worth.
Even though I was stuck at that dinner table for hours, I chose to enjoy my food and drinks.
I laughed the night away, I spoke to people who seemed to mind less (I was in a superficial crowd).
I amused myself. Amusing yourself is always a good skill.
We all have different circumstances,
we grapple with different sorrows in our life that nobody knows.
We battle with different challenges that others do not understand.
Others do not understand our pain or moments of despair.
We have different passions, different priorities.
Some are narrow minded, some see the bigger picture.
Despite not knowing you personal situation, these people want to judge you and your life
based on their narrow, superficial criteria.
Don’t let external disapproval make you feel less about yourself.
In fact, having the courage to take an unconventional path is more than these people will understand.
Just because others view you with disdain doesn’t mean you have to take on their negative view about yourself.
They may snub you in your face, lift your head up high.
Know why you are doing the things you choose, accept the limitations of the situation.
Remember what you love about what you are doing and your goal,
whether it’s completing your first novel or staying home to look after the kids.
It doesn’t matter where you are in your life. Life has its ups and downs.
Anyone who doesn’t understand that and fails to have compassion,
will one day learn that very lesson the hard way and
find the like-minded superficial company they keep abandon them as well.
Even if you’ve lost your job or are in a less ideal job,
use that time to do other things you love, things that bring you joy.
It doesn’t have to cost money.
It can be as simple as spending more time with the kids,
borrowing that book you always wanted to read, learning a new hobby/skill.
Look for training and development programs where you can improve your skills
or learn about that area you always wanted to.
Keep living, find the things that make you happy and,
keep persevering to get to where you want to.
To live a meaningful life and do what you love,
You may make unconventional choices and take an unpopular path in life.
Others will judge you.
Don’t let their superficial judgement make you feel less about yourself.
Do what fulfills you, what makes you happy.
You’ll be happier living your life than someone else’s life.
Warner Brothers announces Batman casting.
The next Batman goes to….. *Drumroll*
AFLAC as Batman.
Well, a duck shows up on stage.
They all look at each other. A duck playing Batman?!? That’s not convincing!
Maybe they’re casting an unlikely candidate! THey look through the papers.
Oops a small mistake. It’s not AFLAC, it’s AFFLECK.
They called Ben Affleck. That makes more sense than a duck right?
Uhrm, does it? The internet mounts a mutiny!
Batfleck, Benman, Batben
The internet and the peoples are protesting against Warner Bros’ choice to cast Ben as Batman.
Poor Ben Affleck, he’s getting a lot of Fleck *cue corny laughter* (i’m sorry, i can’t help myself…)
Hmm maybe AFLAC would have been better? Which is worse?
Let’s enjoy the major developments…
Fans eagerly awaited to hear who will play Batman in the next superhero movie.
Today, Warner Bros announced the highly anticipated decision….
It’s mega star, celebrity…. AFLAC!!!
Oh wait, it’s the wrong spelling on the envelope….
In the end, AFLAK was supportive of Ben. But not everyone was happy. Grumpy cat was PISSED.
So maybe the cat’s opinon doesn’t really matter because cats don’t buy tickets to movies …
Hey Ben’s an Oscar winner, he’s acted, he’s directed, he’s going to stand up for himself!
And of course, everyone wants to drag his good friend Mat into this ….
They prefer Bat Damon to BatFleck.
What’s your reaction to BatBen?
Let’s hope Marvel likes Bat Ben alot….
How do you feel about Ben Affleck as Batman?
Snorting cocaine means you can drink MORE and Party till dawn!
That’s what the rest of us with tamer habits learned from her interview with Oprah.
Here’s Lindsay Lohan partying hard, drinking shots with a not so glamorous party face.
Check out her interview with Oprah.
I wish her luck in her recovery.
You see pictures of celebrities who look amazing, they talk about their healthy lifestyle.
You read about their healthy eating habits to find tips and nuggets so you can live healthier.
It’s inspirational to proclaim “OK I’m going to eat and live healthy too!”
For me, it was a way of life of choosing to eat and live healthier.
I’m fully aware i’m not going to look anywhere close to Gwyneth Paltrow even if I succeed at living healthier.
Because she works out a minimum of 2 hours a day. That’s completely not happening for me.
For Gwyneth, her healthy eating means no red meat, no diary, no sugar, no white processed carbs.
Do you know HOW DIFFICULT that is when you live in the real world?
(or maybe have issues with self control…)
If you’re attempting to live healthier and finding it close to impossible, know that the rest of us mortals struggle with it too!
You’re not alone. Don’t feel bad because you can’t adhere to your healthy plan.
Celebrities have personal chefs who will conjure up yummy dishes with enough variety to accommodate these dietary limits.
You and I do not have a personal chef to buy the ingredients and whip up yummy meals daily based on such a restrictive diet.
I find the best way to eat healthy, is to prepare and cook fresh food.
That way, I know exactly what goes into the dish.
Every time I try to eat clean or healthy, even if it’s just for a day, I find it challenging and stressful to buy healthy food.
If I’m eating clean or healthy, that means it has to be cooked at that point, not pre-cooked or a frozen vegetarian meal.
That’s filled with chemicals which defeats the purpose.
If you work or look after kids or family with plenty of things to get done throughout the day,
you’ll likely identify with me. We’re pressed for time!
Buying fresh ingredients all the time is time consuming.
Many times, by the time I’m done with the day, the supermarket is closed or
I’m way too tired to haul myself to get fresh food.
After a long day, you still have to cook and wash up. Which easily takes an hour.
And if you have kids or other people you need to take care of, you’ll be even more pressed for time.
Yesterday I was running multiple errands and I didn’t get done till 11pm.
I STILL hadn’t had dinner. I was starving, famished.
The easiest thing to do would have been to open a packet of instant noodles
(which I do enjoy the taste of, probably because of all the chemicals and MSG in there!)
and dump some frozen vegetables into it and call it a meal.
I decided I had to make the effort to eat healthy and put my intention to practice.
Eating healthy takes effort. It takes time. Healthy food doesn’t magically appear!
Chemical ladened instant noodles would not do!
So, I cooked. At 11pm at night.
I abhor eating late at night.
The smart thing to do if you have to eat that late, is to stick to vegetables and proteins and minimize carbs.
I had chicken meat frozen in the freezer, it would have taken too longer to thaw.
I needed to eat NOW.
Next best thing? Pasta. Sigh. Major CARBS!!
So I whipped up Mushroom cream pasta. *gulp*
At least it was vegetarian?
Totally sinful and not even as delicious as what I would have eaten at a restaurant.
By the time I was done cooking and washing up, it was midnight.
Yes, it took an hour to prep the food (dicing, chopping etc), cook, and wash dishes.
I finally ate at midnight.
If I had a personal chef and a huge kitchen well stocked with food,
I’m sure he could have cooked up healthy grilled chicken or a salad.
Well, I don’t have either.
As the night wore on, I got the urge to snack.
My first instincts was Cheetos =)
I spoke sternly to my comforted-by-junk-food self.
“No junk food! Eat healthy!”
I got an apple and ate that.
Which should have been enough.
Except for many of us, part of the challenge in living healthier is changing our habits and leaving our comfort zone.
For many of us, eating is a comfort zone.
It bizarrely makes us feel safe, comforts us.
It makes us feel we can get through the paper or report we are having difficulty writing and is due tomorrow.
Cheetos, Sour Cream & Onion chips, Ice cream, desserts all make me happy.
If i’m working late into the night, feeling stressed,
opening a bag of cheddar chips inexplicably makes me feel safer, that I can get my work done.
Psychologists will tell you it has to do with the reward system wired in our brain such that when we eat junk food or engage in activities we are used to doing, our brain gets used to such behavior and releases dopamine.
Dopamine makes us happy.
If you use drugs like cocaine and weed, you brain releases dopamine too.
That’s what makes you remember how happy you felt and so you repeat the act.
Which means, Junk Food is like the Non-Fatal version of Deadly Drugs.
After I got done with the apple, I was still feeling twitchy.
I didn’t have the comfort dopamine rush of eating chips.
Still, I tried to resist.
I had some cheese puffs from the weekend. So I heated those up and ate them.
At least they were healthier than chips!
Right now, I’m still eying those chips sitting within arm’s reach from me.
Let me tell you how exhausting it is to eat healthy and resist the chips and all the temptations.
Cooking at 11pm, eating healthy snacks, resisting old familiar habits all require a lot of hard work in physical and mental effort.
Eating healthy sounds simple, it isn’t.
It takes A LOT of hard work and effort, especially at the beginning because it involves changing deep-seated habits.
I get very annoyed when people with domestic help, do not work, or are wealthy thump their noses down on the difficulty people with real, everyday lives have in developing a healthy lifestyle.
It greatly annoys me.
I had someone say dismissively,
“It’s easy to eat and live healthy, it’s just whether you want to!
If you don’t, blame yourself.”
People like her do not understand the reality of it.
It pisses me off when wealthy people who do not work tell me how easy it is to get something done.
When you have had a long day, sometimes you come back and it’s too tiring to cook a healthy meal.
If you go out to eat, try finding a dish that has minimal processed food, without pre-made items, or preservatives.
Chances are it’s all been processed in some factory at some point and they are cooking it with a massive amount of cheap oil and too much salt.
Eat at healthy organic, raw food restaurants every day?
Sounds great — if you can afford it.
A meal at such places will easily cost a min of $40 a meal.
That’s $1200 a month just for dinner per person.
The least expensive food options are generally sandwiches or pasta (filled with mayo and cheap filling).
Not exactly filled with healthy protein and vegetables.
Buy organic, sure. It costs a premium.
Cook a proper meal, that’ll be another hour.
When you are living in the real world with pressures and deadlines, who has much time to cook?
So if you’re trying to eat and live healthy, keep trying.
It’s a process for me. I fall off the bandwagon all the time.
Don’t stop trying!
Real life has its demands and financial resources are limited.
Do what you can.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself for not being to eat healthy all the time.
If you have tips to eating and living healthy, share your tips with us!
My goal for today, a seemingly simple but tiring one. Avoid the Chips!
Here’s tips on how to keep fit in your 30s, 40s, 50s.
(If you’re in your teens or 20s, you’re incredibly fit, ENJOY LIFE!!!=))
Depending on where you are in the world, you’re either starting or wrapping up the weekend.
Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered, you may be
Exhausted, Defeated & Irrate am I
Yeah that would describe my state pretty accurately.
I’m feeling very tired because I have been sleeping poorly the last few days.
When I’m tired, as much as I try to be patient, I’m not the most tolerant.
Consecutive days of tiredness means increasing impatience.
Yeah. Not pretty.
I’m tired and feeling I’m constantly not doing enough.
The list of To Dos grows faster than I can clear them because I’m so damn slow at getting things done.
I don’t mean errands (though they take up a lot of time) like washing the dishes or laundry.
I mean To Dos that are related to my work and income.
It has a direct hit because the slower I am, the fewer projects I get and the less I earn.
I can’t tell you why it takes me so long to get things done. I wish I could explain it but it just does.
It’s frustrating and defeating.
I was planning to clear a large chunk of my To Do List today.
Instead, I ended up having to do multiple errands that took alot of time.
When I finally got home, I was planning to sit down and check off the To Do List.
Nope, no such luck.
I just spent an hour on the phone trying to make some changes to my bank account.
It was incredibly frustrating trying to get the customer service rep to help me and then being directed to the self-service prompts which STILL did NOT work.
It finally worked an HOUR later. By then, I was all irritated and huffing.
Add to that, I’m trying to set up my Triberr account but it’s not cooperating and doesn’t seem to work well with Firefox. =(. More Upsetting.
There are so many posts I’m half way writing/editing.
I’m frustrated I don’t get to update this as much I would like.
How do people do this?? Plenty of people manage to write often and daily even with a job.
HOW am I NOT able to do it too?
Being tired, sleep deprived, are all good ingredients to accentuate one’s feeling of being defeated and hopelessness (How am I EVER going to get all this done?!?!).
Right now I feel I’m hopping after a high speed train and falling terribly behind at the risk of being run over by the next train.
I have no confidence I can actually clear the To Do List anytime soon.
I’ve tried to clear it for 3 weeks. And I’m STILL trying to clear it.
I was hoping to clear half the list today because I have an early start tomorrow and at least half the day if not the full day will be occupied. I have only got ONE measly thing done. SIGH
Sometimes, your feelings lie.
In this case, I know rationally, I’m feeling worse than I should be because I’m exhausted and sleep deprived.
The other part is the fact remains that I’m incredibly slow at completing what I need to do.
I need to find a way to speed up. I don’t know how yet. I don’t have brilliant insights as yet.
If you have stories, encouragement, and tips, I’d love to hear them!
Wherever you are, grab the last of the weekend and I hope you’re enjoying much more than I am.
In fact, go enjoy it and post me a picture or comment on what you’re doing =)
How difficult do you think dating is these days?
Let’s check based on recent news stories which pretty much tells the tale of my dating life…
You’re trying to be a size 0 and working your ass out (literally) in the gym in your little spare time because you’re trying to get your body to be as close to Mirander Kerr’s body as possible ….
for when you walk down the runway in diamond encrusted lingerie being watched in HD by millions of viewers…
As for me? I love food. I’m not going hungry to be thin.
As it is I have the toughest time keeping my weight stable.
I’ve gained 3 pounds over the last 2 days.
I’m not fat, but I’m not super-model proportions either.
This woman, Christy Morgan, lost 289 pounds over 2 years from changing her diet….. I salute her.
Her story is pretty inspiring, go read it. I’d be happy to lose 10lbs…
She says it’s all about “I CAN”.
Guess what people? I can works both ways
I CAN finish an entire bag of Cheetos in 1 sitting!!!
She’s now lighter than I am at 114lbs… that is probably not a good sign for me.
But I take deep breaths. I remember reading some self-help tips that I should breath A LOT.
I get the courage to tell the guy I’ve liked for the longest that I like him and want to spend time with him…
Not pushy. Just telling him how I feel.
Somehow I think he’s going to see me more since I’ve helped him clear the uncertainty factor.
Then, he says he wants a beauty queen with brains…. Totally depressing.
I eat half a tub of Ben & JErry’s.
I’ll have to spend the next week working that off…
Wait. I barely work out. I guess that’s not going to be a problem after all! =P
Well, I came across this while emptying the ice cream tub.
Miss Riverton, UT, Kendra Gill enjoys making home-made bombs and throwing them out of cars at night.
The Miss Riverton Organization couldn’t wait to see what she was going to accomplish this year.
Yeah, well, now they’ve seen. The wait is over.
Isn’t dating tough? You think you’ve the perfect date with beauty and brains.
You’re SO intrigued by her love for chemistry.
Than she bombs. Quite Literally.
Ha! He can get someone who’s going to blow up his house when she’s pissed with him.
Here’s brains and beauty… That’s what he wanted right??
I chuckle and feel MUCH better.
So I decide to move on to meeting someone I met online .
He seems nice. We seem to be able to have a conversation, at least we do online.
He’s educated and can write a proper sentence.
We meet up….
He couldn’t find the place and said I gave him bad directions.
His online personality is much better.
The conversation doesn’t flow. Mosquito larvae would breed if we stayed long enough.
I’m trying to make conversation with all my magical powers without it sounding like a game of Taboo.
He seems not to be making any effort to initiate conversation.
He answers my conversation topics with less than 5 words.
He seems bossy and dismissive about the things I like
(art – “what’s the point?” , animals – “There are too many to save. They’ll live or die.”)
You thought that was a bad first date? Well, I thought I had a bad first date.
Then I realize that wasn’t that bad.
This guy had a HORRIBLE first date!! Woman on Date Falls to Death from 17th Floor Balcony
Imagine the trauma and years of therapy he’ll have to go through….
The takeaway is : bad dates aren’t THAT bad. There’re worse dates (see above)
Maybe I should follow their cue and try an experiment with a guy friend I like.
A Social Experiment: 40 Days of Dating Between Friends
Yeah the only problem is I don’t think I can survive if he tells me I’m only a friend to him.
And I’m sure that will pretty much ruin the entire friendship.
Dating is difficult… to me.
How about you? Is it a breeze or tough for you?
Share your dating stories!
Initially I was going to write about dealing with being judged but hey, it’s the weekend. Let’s loosen up.
So, I read about the unfortunate boating accident at the Hudson River that left the bride to be and a groomsman dead. I went all “You SEE??? That’s what could happen if you get married!!”
Ok yes, I realize most couples do actually go on on to get married and live for a few more weeks/months/years. But these dead spouse-to-be stories just send chills down my spine.
I get a little nervous about weddings and getting married. If you watch enough programs like “Fatal Vows” , “Happily Never After”, maybe you would be too.
I’m sure most of you would say most guys aren’t that way! Look at my guy, he’s a great guy …
Yeah, most of the time, when family and friends are interviewed, they say “I can’t believe s/he did it… they seemed so in love… They were so caring… This isn’t the person I know…” That’s right, You can’t tell who’s going to end up trying to kill you on your honeymoon (or any other time) for your insurance money (or whatever it is you have they want)!
Having watch, heard, and read about too many stories about one spouse/spouse-to-be planning an accident or scheming to get rid of the other to inherit their insurance policy or assets, I get quite nervous about getting married. My neck starts to feel a little delicate shall we say …
Whenever my friends announce they are getting married and say , “We’re going on a lovely luxury cruise for our honeymoon!” or “We’re going to a Safari for our honeymoon!” I get all tensed up and mildly freak out in my mind. If I could, I’d run in circles repeatedly like a puppy being scared and anxious alone in a room.
My thoughts on those honeymoon trips… “REALLY? a cruise… with a BALCONY did you say? how… erm…Lovely?” Yeah, that Balcony will make it SO MUCH easier to push the other person down and fake an accident. I do not recommend a cruise or balcony suite. Not now, maybe not ever.
“A Safari! How Exciting! There will be LIONS in a very open jeep… OH you planned a few PRIVATE safari drives too!!! How exciting” Yeah, that will just be so much easier to push the other person over to the Lions and fake an accident. So, I do not recommend a safari either. You see the trend.
“Scuba Diving?? It’s ok I can see the fishes on TV.
No, I really don’t want too.
It’ll be too easy for you to cut my oxygen tube during the dive.
You could easily let the knife sink to the ocean floor and no one would ever find it”
I guess that might be the end of the relationship if I ever voice these concerns.
Weddings and the idea of marriage make me nervous …. especially if there is a boating, cruise, safari, scuba dive etc.
AND a new insurance policy in the spouse’s name involved…
I’m glad all my friends have returned from their honeymoon safely — together.
In one piece.
That’s either #LowExpectations (If I get married, I’d like a honeymoon and life without my spouse trying to kill me) or
#HighStandards (I want a good guy, one who doesn’t try to kill me?)
and yes, I realize that story about the boating accident isn’t about one spouse trying to kill the other…
Well, at least it’s doesn’t *appear* to be, YET…
Have a good weekend, have fun,
Don’t get on a cruise with anyone who’s a beneficiary of your insurance policy.
Best thing — make your pet your beneficiary. They generally don’t try to kill you.
Unless your pet is a viper or lion…
Recently, I’ve had days where I was nervous, jumpy, stressed and altogether, not exactly a ball of happy or healthy.
The sleep deprivation from working on multiple projects having to stay up late (as in really late, such as 4am late) and waking up early hasn’t helped I’m sure. With a crazy schedule, I haven’t been able to eat well and have had dinner at 11pm on a few nights this week which consisted of salad, canned soup or sandwich. 11pm is somewhat late for dinner in my opinion. There are some potential changes on the horizon and thus decisions have to be made which has caused minor stress and nervously about what to do and how it’s going to work out. So, all of these things have probably caused me to feel nervous, jumpy, stressed out for those days.
Tell me what your automatic reflex is when you are in that state? (Assuming you have these days as well as I’m not the only one…). For me, my automatic comfort is to curl up in a corner or in bed and wish it all away.
Yeah. As you can imagine that doesn’t work out very well because things don’t get done or settled on their own. And it’s not an option when I have a whole long to do list to get done.
I know I can’t curl up under my duvet and let the magic broomsticks do the work. But sometimes in the midst of nerves and stress, I can get caught in bad habits. Examples? I reach out for Sour Cream and Onion chips or chocolate or ice cream for comfort. And I project my determination to get things one on my snack. I keep reach in and eating till it’s all gone. Project accomplished!
Well, maybe not the original project…. but the temporary feeling of polishing off an entire bag of chips or chocolate bar on your own does create a sense of accomplishment.
Then there’s the dread and guilt that sets in.
No this is not going to turn into a bulimic story.
Here’s a baby step to stop whatever bad habit you’re trying to change.
#1 The moment you catch yourself doing whatever your habit is, break it immediately by standing up, walking away and just changing your position. Distract yourself, go to the bathroom, get a glass of water, take a shower. Just get out of that position.
Don’t tell yourself “Just 1 more chip, just 1 min more of nail biting, just 1 more sanitizing wipe…”
If you let yourself have 1 more, there will be 2, 3 ,4 and many more.
If you keep doing the same action or harboring the same thought for more than 30 secs, you’ll likely get sucked into a repetitive loop and keep engaging in the habit or have the same unhelpful thoughts circling in your head. It’ll get increasingly comforting because you are used to doing the habit or telling yourself the same thoughts and the cycle continues and you’ll keep on doing it.
The longer you let yourself engage in the behavior, the more set you’ll be and harder to stop it after you’ve devoured an entire bag of chips *guilty look*!
You’re not going to succeed every time and it’s ok. But TRY every time and ;let’s try to break out bad habits together very soon!
When I’m nervous, jumpy and stressed, I sometimes also feel slightly shell shocked and feel stressed and overwhelmed by the mountain of things I need to complete.
#2 Here’s a baby step to hitting your goal.
If you are procrastinating or not in the mood to do it, take that first step (it’s always the hardest) and just tell yourself “I will just write 1 sentence, I will just wash the dishes for 2 minutes, I will just send out 2 resumes.”
You might find it easier to get started as it seems like a more reasonable task, less daunting, and you’ll feel less pressured to get a mountain load done.
Once you start doing what ever it is for 2 minutes, you’ll likely have gotten into the mood and realize it is not that defying. After 2 minutes, people are prone to continue working on it so they can finish the project. That way you’ll have been hit your goal!
The hardest part is getting start. Give yourself a small easy goal. Once you get there, you’ll likely be motivated to finish it even if you didn’t feel like it in the first place.
#3 Errands and little things such as paying bills or clearing up your email often can be taken care of very quickly in under 2 minutes. Do it immediately. Don’t put it off till later because later always causes stress and traffic jams and can result in fines and even more stress.
That call you put off returning, you’ll feel bad the next day, worse the following day and by the end of the week you’ll be avoid your friend just because you didn’t simply call your friend immediately when you could have.
Remember Nike’s Slogan…
So those are the 3 baby steps. I give good advice. If only I could implement it immediately.
Well I’m working on it…. Trying to break the habits, and reach the goals!
“I guess it depends on what you’re using them for….”
A series of text messages I got from a completely random number:
them: Do I need all of these corpses?
me: Is this my father?
me: No. I think you have the wrong number.
me: But wait…why DO you have so many corpses?
them: Why did you assume I was your father?
me: It’s sort of a long story.
me: Well. Good luck to you then.
them: You too.
And this is why I LOVE the Bloggess! Check out The Bloggess
There’s no one else like her. You’ll wonder how you survived this long without being part of her witty, hilarious days!
If you’re here from NaBloPoMo where the theme of the month is Connect, well, let’s just say I’m dying to connect with people and guys over interesting conversations… (pun totally intended…). Ideally, it would be interesting conversations and meaningful relationships but I’ll take what I can get… (we’re already covered how well my dating life is…)
ME: You know, were you just a tad worried when you realized you had the wrong number?
Them: Nah, we can just add to the corpses… We have a lot as is, one more is nothing…
ME: Hmmm I see. Should you really be texting about corpses? Isn’t it a little sensitive?
You could get into A LOT of trouble… and I mean the FBI, CIA, NYPD, LAPD, WhateverstatePD
Them: I guess, but we’re not too worried. Look how the rest of them turned out…
ME: I can’t see how they turned out but I’m certainly seeing a trend…. Well, I’m just looking out for you. You can be sure I won’t say a thing. It’s just between you and me.
Them: Thanks man. Good to know you got my back. That’s pretty kool.
ME: I’m a woman=) It must be stressful. I’m here anytime you need to talk.
When I say I’m here, don’t come find me or turn up at my door. Texting will do…
Them: sure honey. that’s nice. Our truck is full right now so we try not to travel unless we absolutely need to take care of things…
ME: OK. Sounds good. stay where you are. Be safe and warm. Keep the heat and moisture away, they’re not good for your “passengers”. You should bring a lot of, uhrm, hydrogen peroxide to remove the blood stains?
You know, I just googled and it’s not clear what you use to remove blood stains since they are So. Stubborn.
What Do You use?
Them: Our trade secret. Sorry. can’t share. You often have to remove blood stains too?
ME: Uhrm, think that hits my boundary… Let’s leave this for another time…. I should go sleep. It was nice talking to you. Text soon again!
Them: no prob. we gotta go make grilled meat sandwich. goodnight
I didn’t write for a month (or more) back in December and I promised to write about that.
Well, NOW I’m (finally) getting to it.
Part of it was due to a freak injury.
I was happily walking in flat shoes when suddenly my ankle gave way and just bent inward.
I ended up in Physiotherapy for an additional body part (my ankle) and it just hurt and ached for a whole month.
It usually isn’t this temperamental.
It wasn’t my first ankle injury.
I’ve had ankle injuries over the years which makes it worse because my ankle gets weaker and weaker and more prone to more injuries.
It’s gotten so bad that these days, these freak injuries happen for no reason, such as the situation mentioned above.
Fast forward to today, June 28 and my ankle has been aching and not getting back to its normal self.
I stopped my Physiotherapy 2 weeks after my injury. Ok, I’ll admit I didn’t go to the gym to strengthen my ankle…
but I DID stick to doctor’s orders and only wear flats till my ankle got better.
It evidently hasn’t gotten better =(
In fact it was throwing a fit yesterday. I looked at my foot and realized there was a light bruise across the entire front of my foot. >GASP<. This is not good. It’s bad!!!
If there’s a bruise, that means some capillaries or veins have broken and the blood is leaked, thus forming a bruise.
(I’m sure “leak” is not the right term but I’m not a doctor so don’t sue me…)
I tried to take a picture of the bruise rainbow across my foot but it didn’t show well in the pics.
So here’s what it kind of looks like to give you an idea.
Let me take some questions here from the audience…
Yes, that is the approximate location of the rainbow bruise
No, the bruise isn’t in rainbow colors. I call it that because of the shape across my foot.
No that is not my foot.
No, my foot is thankfully still attached to me and the rest of my leg/body.
When I went back to my Physiotherapy and she pressed it, my ankle hurt like hell. I was yelling softly the whole time only because i was trying to avoid scaring all the other patients which might have gotten me banned from her clinic and I like her.
So I’m stuck with a messed up ankle that refuses to get better and I can’t wear heels!!
ARGH. The Indignity of that!!
I miss wearing heels. I feel taller and sexy in them.
Wearing flats, I feel like I’m a withering prune shuffling around.
There’s something about heels that makes feel sensual and more attractive even if heels ARE a killer and hurt my feet many times.
I have many stories of the countless situations where I wore very pretty heels but my feet were killing me.
I’ll save that for another time.
I’ll share the gist of how most of those conversations went with my dates after we were dating for awhile.
Me: ahhhh my feet are so. painful. Let’s walk slowly…
Guy: WHY did you wear those heels?
Me: Because they’re beautiful and they make me look good. AHh ahh. walk slower! Slower!
Guy: Sure, that makes total sense… *shakes head*
And so, in closing, appreciate your ankle.
Think of all it’s done for you and how it carries you all day.
For you girls, wear hot sexy heels and smile at your ankle in thanks while I shuffle in flats.
In the meanwhile, I’ll be hoping for my ankle to get better and I leave you with a bad ankle inspired haiku…
Ankle Friday Haiku
Stuck only in flats,
Drats, missing my sexy heels,
Four inches no less.
Wishing you a Happy Ankle Friday!
ps: As I was about to hit Publish, I felt a dull poking pain at my ankle. and I’m sitting!
I love traveling. Traveling to major cities, beach resorts, less popular places.
The first group are the usual suspects: NYC, London, Paris etc.
What I like to do is visit less popular places to see how they live, soak in the beauty of the land, appreciate the history and buildings of the past. I’ve always wanted to see Central Asia, Russia, the eastern countries of Europe, Bhutan, Nepal, So many places to explore and see how differently people live.
It’s been on my list for many years and I don’t feel I can make those trips yet for many reasons both financial and personal circumstances. I’d be happy to be able to take a short beach vacation and getaway in the near term.
I haven’t taken a vacation in years. No. that’s not fun or advisable. I encourage people to take vacations. It’s good for you.
Now if only i followed my own advice A LOT MORE!
Even though I can’t travel around, I’m doing so vicariously!
Check out the colorful, bold pictures and journey of a couple traveling to off beaten areas and seeing the local life! I really love the collection of pictures that capture the artistic quality of the places (houses, places of worship, landscape) and the everyday pictures of life in each village. http://powredford.tumblr.com/
Where’s the next place you’d love to visit?
I typed this post Twice. and when I saved it, it got deleted Completely! TWICE!
Here we go again!
I have a soft spot for croissant.
Especially freshly baked croissant with its unmistakable aroma and alluring call saying “Have me! I’m perfectly warm, flaky, and buttery!”
I walked into a new cafe this morning and the lovely smell of baking croissant hit me the moment I opened the door.
It was a little expensive for factory dough croissant (the kind that comes in a slab and you pinch it out and roll it and leave it in the oven to bake.)
But the aroma was too much for me. I HAD to have a croissant.
I pointed out to the girl the single croissant sitting on the baking tray she just took out from the oven.
It was calling out my name.
I was surprised by what I got ….
There’s PLENTY of butter that goes into croissant, which is why it’s fragrant, flaky, and buttery.
So, to serve it was butter is like being served Cream of Mushroom soup with a side cup of Full Cream just in case there isn’t enough cream in the soup…
For 3 seconds, my good and evil self debated whether I should do the right thing and return the butter.
But, salted butter… Oh! Another weak spot…. Yes, I have many many weak spots….
Unfortunately for my arteries, My evil self won and I spread the salted butter onto the warm, crisp, flaky croissant.
4 bites later, the croissant was gone, half the salted butter was used and I was a happy (but guilty and fatter) person.
But to start the day with croissant? Oh such joy!
I hope everyone’s having something good to kick start your day. Share what it is that makes you happy to start your day with!
Very honestly, I do not have the best survival instincts — unless we’re talking about ball sports where my instinct is to run away from the rapidly speeding ball lest I get hit by it.
Every now and then I inadvertently do things that in hindsight were not a good idea and life threatening to some degree.
So, let’s get to my latest deed.
I was having a chunky fish and vegetable soup and as I scooped it i saw half a fish in it. I figured out I could eat the fish.
I took one bite of the fish and felt a bunch of long, fine bones, more than 10 bones. It was one of those super bony fishes. I’m bad with bones and fish in general.
Survival instincts would have dictated I spit it ALL out.
But since I’m low on Vitamin Survival, I tried to separate out the bones in my mouth and threw out the bones and swallowed the rest.
Which only hit me AFTER i swallowed the meat and bones.
This is what happens when you are low on survival instincts.
The obvious is not that clear.
I felt the bones in my throat and tried to cough it out to no avail.
The worse part? I did this once before. I thought there was a bone in the fish meat but figured it was just a hard grain of rice and swallowed it. At which point I realized, UH OH, that WAS a BONE!
I don’t feel the bone in my throat now but am a little freaked out and hoping nothing bad happens like any tears to my oesophagus or digestive tract.
I sigh at my own stupidity and lack of survival instincts.
This is not good. Assuming you are trying to stay alive.
If anyone has advice on this fish bone swimming around in my digestive system, please leave me a comment or note!
Happy Sunday, Enjoy your day & most importantly, stay alive.
While watching TV…
Me: Hmm. I kind of miss being able to cook for a boyfriend…
Friend: Yeah. You mean you miss being able to cook at all…
Me: I cook!…. every now and then…
Friend: Sure. Of course you do. You cook and it’s a good outcome when no pots get burned and no fires engulf the kitchen…
Me: I’ve never burned a house down from cooking!
Friend: Great. It’s better if you don’t cook. And it’s not like you’d cook for a guy. HOW many times have you attempted to poison a boyfriend that way?
Me: I like the idea of having a boyfriend that I could hypothetically cook for… it’s sweet and romantic… and I didn’t poison any boyfriends!!
Well, there was that once I offered to cook for a guy I liked… except that it was really more of a threat…
I told him how I screwed up Carbonara a bunch of times and it ended up as soggy scrambled eggs in pasta.
And after telling that story, I offered to cook him dinner…. It worked brilliantly.
He kept saying no. So i didn’t have to cook in the end. Which I didn’t want to anyway. I just wanted to offer and make sure my offer wasn’t taken up. Thank god he wasn’t suicidal.
That was quite amusing I must say. I still chuckle when i think of that. Brilliant me.
Hollywood is great at making series/movies that for attracts us for different reasons.
Sometimes, I stay glued to the TV because what I’m watching gives me hope.
Hope — that love is just around the corner, that life will get better, that things will work out (it usually does in Hollywood). As I’m writing this, it seems ironic to say Hollywood makes shows that give us hope. because it’s usually associated with fake, false, and staged.
I was watching an episode of Enlightened (HBO) and I sat there continuing to watch it cos it gave me hope and IDEAS. It put the idea in my head of “Hmm maybe i should just call a guy and tell him I want to see him. Maybe that’ll make everything easier!” Yeah sure.
Let me give you an example of the hope Hollywood gave me vs. reality.
Amy: I was thinking of you and I miss you. How about coming over tonight?
Guy: Uhrm coming over? to your side? Uhrm, Ok sure, how about I come about 6 and pick you up for dinner?
Me: hey I was thinking of you… How about meeting up sometime this week?
Guy: uhrm, i’m not free bye. (proceeds to run away)
I’d like to emphasize this actually happened. I did that before I watched this episode. So even though i was slapped in the face by the guy, this episode made me feel like I should somehow crazily do it again.
Amy: It’s so good to see you
Guy: It’s so good to see you too.
Me: It’s so good to see you
Guy: Uhm ok. I gotta go (runs away)
Me: But you just got here…
Guy: (Speeds up and runs faster)
You get the idea.
So yes. While I was watching the episode, it was somehow moving. And that’s NOT the word most people would use to describe Enlightened. If I had to describe it I’d use words like “strange, awkward, trainwreck”. So just to be clear, it’s not some heart warming series.
But yeah it felt good watching that exchange.
Clearly, the effect is short lived since I’m sitting here writing (skeptically) about how badly the real life version would turn out. =P
But hope is wonderful. It’s great. Until it comes crashing down. Like a sugar high.
The solution? Drink more hope, eat more sugar. Don’t ever crash. Keep the high going.
How is everyone’s weekend going? Tell me the fun things you’re doing or the crazy things that happened.
I want to hear it! Every now and then, I’m afraid of stupid, absurd, silly things…
I can’t get things done because I have IFPBM. (pronounced as if-pam). Haven’t heard of it? Keep reading. I’ll fill you in. It’s a fairly common condition among the general population and usually not life threatening but can be very serious in certain cases where it disrupts simple life tasks. In the most serious cases, it renders a person unable to do certain undesirable tasks. It may cause the person to freeze in the midst of attempting to do simple acts like taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom, or reading emails. IFPBM can be stressful for the person and people around them and unfortunately there is no cure. It can result in difficulty in sleeping, increased stress levels, anxiety. I’ll tell you later on what helps relieve my IFPBM condition.
The condition hits sufferers like myself every now and then. It is out of the blue and can’t be predicted, very much like an asthma attach. As it so happens, I was checking my email yesterday when IFPBM hit me. Sometimes, I suddenly got afraid of opening certain emails from actual humans (vs newsletters I subscribe to or Sephora promo emails because they can’t be telling me anything special). I’m afraid of what the email will say. I have no idea why I get scared of emails. What is it going to do? Eat me up?
This has happened often enough that I knew it was my IFPBM condition hitting me. So I spent yesterday staring at a few emails in my preview pane for an hour or so. Afraid to open the emails. not that I was expecting someone to say something mean or that it was some major life altering result in the email. I have no idea why I have this fear. Today, I opened my email and stared at it again. I didn’t want to engage in a confrontational staring match with the emails so I decided to write this post.
So I’m kind of (actually, I AM), procrastinating opening the emails and replying to them. As you can see, I have trouble getting things done sometimes…. *blushes* Sometimes it’s because I have irrational fears. Sometimes it’s because of procrastination. (yeah, did you check out my other post about procrastination? It all seems to be linked to the same vague issue of #cantgetthingsdone)
All in all, it’s all *waves hand around* seems to be a bunch of problems.
I can’t get things done, I get stressed out, It keeps me from sleeping, and I get anxious about all the things that are piling up undone. Not Fun. As I mentioned earlier, there is no cure. The best way to deal with IFPBM is to engage in relaxing activities or things that make you happy and decrease your stress/anxiety. For me, that can range from having a cup of green tea, eating ice cream, eating chocolates, going out for a nice dinner.
So, I can’t get things done because I have IFPBM. (pronounced as if-pam). Haven’t heard of it? Don’t bother googling it. It stands for Irrational Fears, Procrastination, Blobbly Mess. I suspect many of you will recognize this in yourself. Can’t get your feet to take the trash out in Winter? IFPBM. Can’t get out of the couch to clean the bathroom? IFPBM.
So, the next time you can’t get yourself to do something, say “I have IFPBM. I need your support and understanding. It would help relieve my symptom if we _________ (went out for dinner/had sex/went for ice cream/whatever you enjoy doing).” There is no shame in acknowledging you are IFPBM.
BTW, before you ask your doctor about this condition and suspect you have it, please know that I just created this diagnosis. It’ll probably make its way into the 8th edition of the DSM. If you know what DSM is, you deserve a prize. Here’s a pat on the back! (If you don’t, it’s the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It’s published by the American Psychiatric Association and lists conditions and the criteria a patient must exhibit to be classified as suffering from a certain psychiatric condition. They are suppose to release the 5th edition mid 2013. It’s also a sub-text subtle pun at how long they take to update the manual and factor in new conditions and symptoms.)
Remember, There is no shame in acknowledging you are IFPBM.
Band together IFPBMers!!! I hope this cracked up at least 1 person…. =)
ps: and now I need to get to reading those emails and replying to them and overcoming my IFPBM…
30 mins later, I have still not confronted those scary emails. I’ve been surfing through blogs reading what other people are doing. Must. muster up courage. and read emails. and reply. NOW.
2 hrs later, I finally faced the scary emails, read them, and replied to them. But it sure took alot longer than it should have. I’m not sure if I should yell at myself or pat myself on my back. That’s another condition I could add on to….
In Mommy world, there is apparently an uproar over the redesign of Merida.(who the hell is Merida?!?!)
Ok when i glanced at both (prob 2 secs), I didn’t see a marked difference other than a dark blue vs bright blue dress.(yes, clearly some things appeal to me more than others. In this case, clothes. Just like I’m sure a guy would notice redesigned Merida has bigger breasts vs. brighter clothes)
I probably do not notice the many differences because I do not have kids. I am not familiar with Merida.
The only blue childhood hero I am familiar with is Cookie Monster.
I agree it’s an over-sexualized world. Imagine my horror when my 2 year niece danced and started gyrating and thumping her hips. If I had kids, there would be no tv and only Sesame Street on DVD. I’d lock them up at home and keep them from being exposed to all these ideas and images way before they should be.
That way I wouldn’t have to worry about how to explain these things to them, reinforce the important of being a strong woman and building character vs. the world’s obsession about looks, sex appeal, and being thin.
Yeah, and then someone would probably call child services or the welfare department and they’d cart me off to jail or the psych ward for protecting my kids because they would decide it was harmful to lock up the kids and it would be better for the kids to be exposed to the over-sexualized, size 0 obsessed world.
and that is why I do not have kids.
Ok, also, because I do not have a husband.
Not that you need a husband to have kids. I could always go to the sperm bank, adopt, etc.
(some people have have the ability to write short sweet posts. Notice my posts and thoughts kind of have a story of their own. From Disney toys, to kids, to husbands…)
Again. Let’s get back to the main point. If I had kids, I’d probably be sent to jail/psych ward for protecting them from the world & inappropriate media content. I would like to avoid going to jail or the psych ward….
Read the Bloggess’ thoughts on new Merida.
The annual Met Gala is the highlight of fashion where designers, celebrities, and socialites get a chance to put their creativity and fashion to full force to create dramatic red carpet outfits.
Every year, the Met Gala shows off breathtaking, beautifully crafted gowns surrounding a theme. This year’s theme ” PUNK: Chaos to Couture” was a departure from previous themes where designers and invitees could don generally elegant, couture gowns. The PUNK theme threw many into disarray. Most of these celebrities and socialites do not dress in the style of punk. Nope, they are vying to be the most beautiful and are used to looking like princesses.
We found out who embraced adventure with the PUNK theme while others limped out, too afraid of not looking beautiful! Celebrities like Heidi Klum, Uma Thurman, Renee Zellweger gave up on the theme and went for the typical glamorous celebrity look. They and their gowns were beautiful, but there certainly was no punk! Couldn’t you just take a risk for ONE night and try a different style??? Isn’t that what fashion is about!!!
Stars like Madonna, Nicole Richie, Elle Fanning were so fully committed to the theme and carried it off without worrying if they were beautiful. It was great! There were so many stars wearing Givenchy / Tisci outfits that it seemed Givenchy was trying too hard to get press coverage to promote their brand. The allure of dressing just a few stars was lost with Givenchy.Sarah Jessica Parker, ever the style queen, pulled off an amazing ensemble in the punk mood in a Giles Deacon gown, Philips Treacy hat, and knee high Christian Louboutin boots. Her lace underwear was exposed as she walked up the stairs, maybe people should stop calling it a wardrobe malfunction and see it as part of her Punk outfit! It completely matched her look!
Here are the best outfits from stars who dared to embrace the Punk Couture theme!
L to R: Christina Ricci (Vivienne Westwood), Constance Jablon (Wes Gordon), Taylor Swift (J Mendel)
Take Duck as a good example.
Duck is bright yellow with big black eyes and a happy smile (inferred).
It’s hard not to squeal and smile seeing the giant bright yellow duck floating along.
It’s comforting and brings warm happy thoughts (to most people). If you’re having a bad day, watching Duck float by will probably put you in a better mood and bring a smile to your face. That’s comfort. That’s the healing and beauty of art.
Art, in many forms, transcends cultures, languages, age, gender. That’s the beauty of art.
It warms the heart and brings together those of us who appreciate and love a piece of art.
It gives us something in common and unites us by bringing us together.
People might debate if this is really art, how creative is it to blow up something in the bathroom etc etc etc.
Art can be simple and easy to appreciate. What’s the point if something is so complex that only a few people can relate to it?
My point is, sometimes, it just needs to be as simple as something that people can enjoy.
Duck by Florentijn Hofman is currently making its way around HK as part of its global tour and was previously in Sydney. Hofman’s whimsical, contemporary public art works makes me think of Jeff Koon’s pieces, an artist whose works I enjoy very much.
At 16.5m, Duck is 5 storeys tall, and the bright cheerful sight is easy for anyone to enjoy. As Hofman expresses, “The Rubber Duck knows no frontiers, it doesn’t discriminate people and doesn’t have a political connotation. The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties: it can relieve mondial tensions as well as define them.”
Yes, it brings a smile to my face. It makes people laugh, giggle, and smile. It’s healing alright. And you didn’t even need weed or prescription meds or junk food. Just a giant bright yellow duck floating along =)
It is however also a stark contrast against the grainy, smoky backdrop of certain parts of HK.
Therein, again, lies the beauty in an art piece as simple as this. The contrast highlights the cramped living conditions and polluted air of HK. Art is how you look at it. It’s about enjoying it, it’s about drawing you to think about the piece and its surrounding.
Have a bright, sunny day ahead!
Hello all. Happy May!
WOW. Is it really May? I can’t believe it’s May. (that sounds trite)
I don’t want it to be May. That means 5/12th of the year is gone and I don’t feel i’ve gotten enough, or rather anything, done.
I know I’ve been terrible at blogging regularly. THere were so many times I had a great idea, something witty to post. But I’d say “I’m going to get ABC done and write that blog post as a reward.” or “I don’t want to boot up the laptop and I can’t write on the app…” Of course, ABC never got done because if it was easy to do, I wouldn’t have to bait myself with a reward of writing a blog post.
I REALLY wanted to write and update my blog. I do. So, why the procrastination? What kept me from doing something I really wanted to do? What kept me from doing the things I *planned* to do?
Perfectly reasonable. Except that when this goes on, it leads to a lot of possibly valid reasons for why nothing got done. As I’m writing this, I’m not sure where this is coming from because this is NOT the post I was intending to write! Maybe it’s my inner self sharing my own faults, or my inner self screaming freaking screaming for help (from you all) to save me from my faults.
The harsh reality is the world, life, and people don’t care about all those reasons, even if they are valid, if they are heartbreaking.
Most of the times we don’t get something done because we are avoiding it — consciously or subconsciously.
And, we are avoiding the item at hand because we are scared. Scared for whatever reason that you know very well deep in you. It may not be pleasant to admit, maybe you don’t want to admit you’re scared.
I know i’m scared. I don’t have someone I can admit this to. But I’m scared of more rejection, scared of how much worse things can become, scared of what i’ve become. Scared of so many things.
I know I need to help myself. I’m working on it. It isn’t smooth sailing, it isn’t easy. I fall and stumble and land in ditches, the abyss, fracture my soul, and a million more injuries. But I’m trying.
A thought came to my head today — I need to do something and help myself for God or anyone else to be able to help me. No one can help me if I hide in a corner and do nothing.
We procrastinate. We find reasons we can’t do ABC. We find other ways to make the time go by so we can say “Oh I couldn’t do ABC because ….”
Guy left the internet for a year. Yes, there are a gazillion ways, apps, sites and silly videos that will distract you for a whole day if you wanted to. There are also plenty of ways to while that time away in the physical world.
The fact is you don’t have to leave the internet for a year to get the things you want done.
We just need to face our fears and what we are scared of. Leave the safe, comfort zone that we’ve buried ourselves in and recognize staying there is getting us nowhere.
Slowly. take a step out, towards the things we want to achieve. It isn’t a straight line. It isn’t fast. But we just got to keep trying and working on it.
So let’s do this together. set out 1 thing we want to get done. And let’s make that our goal for May.
Here we go… =)
Hello, I’m SO SORRY I’ve been MIA. I’ll post another post about why I haven’t been posting.
Let’s get to the fun conversation I had yesterday.
As the title post suggests, my suitor came calling yesterday ….
Side note: It sounds romantic right? =) Why doesn’t anyone speak/write this way anymore?
No one uses “My suitor” or “came calling”.
Now it’s “this guy” “texted me” or “hung out with me”. So unromantic and unclear…
Back to the conversation with my friend…
Me: My suitor came calling yesterday…
Friend: Hope you didn’t pick up the phone after THAT date…
Me: uhrm no, it was a different suitor. He came hopping into my living room more precisely…
Friend: Frogs do NOT count as suitors!!
Me: He’s NOT a frog!! He’s a PRINCE!! We just haven’t kissed yet!!!
Friend: How have things turned out this way? *sighs*
Me: I don’t know. But at least I have a persistent suitor….
Said suitor, takes the form of a young frog. I maintain He’s a Prince. Wait till we kiss!!
He often comes around and sometimes decides to hop into my living room. Since this has occurred multiple times, I consider him a persistent, dedicated suitor…. I’ve yet to get a good picture of him and will post it once I get a good one.
He’s very dark green and he only comes over at night (I know, sketchy right?) so it’s hard to get a good, clear picture.
As this post alluded to, I had a date recently… and it was, well, interesting ….
That’s another post to entertain all of you…. Might as well get a good laugh out of these less than stellar dates!
So I owe you many posts. 1. Why I’ve been MIA 2. The recent date.