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Making Sense of Why the Guy You Love Chose Another Girl

When the Guy I’ve loved chooses to be with another girl,

Naturally I’m searching for answers to make sense of it all.

What’s the best way to search for answers?

GOOGLE.

I googled combinations of “Why the guy chose another girl”
“Why did he disappear?”

“Why did he walked away?”

I read through 80, yes eighty, pages of search results needing to find the answers among blogs, magazine tips, news paper articles.

I needed comfort, I needed answers.

Why did he choose her? Why did he get disinterested in me?
Why didn’t he appreciate my genuine feelings for him?
Why didn’t he value me?
Why didn’t he recognize all the things we had in common?

Why, why, why, why, why, WHY????

Why her and not me?
WHY???
Why, why, why, why, WHY?

Here are a couple of things I learned from reading over 80 pages of search results and a few hundred links. These rang true to me.
I know this makes sense and I need to knock this into my sense.

1. Obsessing is about looking for reasons to blame yourself and trying to reason out things that there aren’t necessarily answers for.

The fact that you’re asking Why he doesn’t want to be with you or Why he chose her says you still want him very badly even though he’s clearly expressed he doesn’t see the value in you or being with you.

Yes, it hurts. Ouch. OUCH.

We all know that continuing to ask why yields no answers.
Continuing to ask WHY just does more emotional damage to yourself because you keep putting him and those Why questions on replay.

You’re obsessing about him. You’re clinging on to the last shred of him when he’s walked away and is enjoying life on a beach with the girlfriend while you’re crying your eyes out and losing weight because you can’t eat. You want to continually mourn him, you don’t want to move on.
Often when we ask these questions, they are with regard to men who probably aren’t worthy of our time.

2. You are Wonderful. Him choosing some girl is about him, not You (or me).

It does not say anything about you or imply that you are not good enough.
He just wanted something else.
Do not take it as a judgment on yourself.

There is nothing wrong with you other than your misinterpretation of the facts.

You’re Pink and he preferred Green. Pink is not better than Green.
Pink is just different from Green. That’s simply it.

If the one you love doesn’t want you, and by implication doesn’t value you, this is your wake-up call, albeit a painful one. You don’t want him or her either. You don’t want to invest any more time or thought or energy in this person.

When you love and admire someone so much, it may seem impossible to let go of.
But you must want to let go (instead of cling on to his memory) and you will move on
If you consciously choose to change your focus.

3. Stop Blaming Yourself

When I first heard the news that he’d gotten into a relationship, I started to look back at all the things I did wrong.

I cried miserably in the shower convinced I, myself, had singlehandedly ruined a long await chance at a relationship and being happy with someone who had so much in common.

I replayed the things I screwed up: Why didn’t I move in closer when we were walking by the river?
I should have made it clearer I liked him.
I shouldn’t have been so cautious about liking him. (well, look how well loving him has worked out…)
I should have been more spontaneous about saying “Let’s do this on saturday!” instead of waiting for him to suggest it.
I should have worn few accessories, the piles of bangles which were all the rage was probably too much

The truth is this.

And often times, the truth hurts A LOT more than the generalized comforting phrases we use.

The Truth is if he liked me enough, appreciated and valued me, he would have stayed.
He wouldn’t have walked off and lost interest — no matter how many bangles I had on my arm.


4. I’ll won’t find someone so compatible and amazing as him…

When the feelings are not mutual between you and another, examine how you put yourself in this unequal place.

Do you think that you’ll never find anyone else? (Guilty for now, Yes. I think it’ll be decades before I meet someone with so much in common in interests and background. Sigh)

Do you fantasize that if only he or she would love you, you would be happy the rest of your life?
(Guilty, Yes I can see all the things we could enjoy doing together, walks in the parks, concerts, traveling the world. Ah, Sigh. If Only….)

You are longing for someone who seems to have more going for them than you do, perhaps you need to look at what you should be doing to have a better, more interesting, more fulfilling life.


It could be that the loss you feel is the life you wanted to have by vicariously living beside and through someone else.


The saddest part to these one-way love obsessions is how willing people are to accept so little in return. It isn’t the beloved who is treating you badly— YOU are doing yourself an injustice and hurting yourself more by hanging around and moping after someone who isn’t available and doesn’t care enough about you. 


“Having a crush on someone is like putting your heart in a Ziploc bag and checking it at the airport luggage counter. There is a chance it will make the trip and come out unscathed, but there is a much greater chance that it will be bruised in some way.


We can all take great comfort in knowing that everything passes. Since there are no exceptions-none–it means that if you are sad, you won’t always be sad. If you fail, you’ll bounce back. If someone hurt you, that feeling will change. If you lose a love, there will be another. Indeed, there is something very reassuring in knowing that, whatever it is, however hard it seems, it too will pass.”


Understand there is no rhyme or reason to why men disappear or lose interest. No matter how much you discuss the situation with your friends, trying to figure out where things went wrong, it will all be speculations and you won’t get the answer of why he acted the way he did. In fact, it might have to do more with him than you. Maybe he got spooked at the thought of your relationship progressing to a more serious level, or perhaps he wasn’t as interested in you as he lead on and didn’t want to admit it face to face. The truth is, you’ll never know for certain why a man acts the way he does unless you hear it from him…and he probably isn’t coming back to tell you.


which is completely true because I haven’t heard from him…


I went through hundreds of links over the weekend, my emotional state matching the most gravity defying roller coasters.


On Sunday night I was exhausted from all the reading, trying to make sense of it all, trying to find comfort.


Perhaps all these combined words of wisdom and reality did sink in a little.
As I was going to sleep on Sunday night, instead of crying myself to sleep, I felt this sense of strength that I would be alright and I could rid him out of my mind.
Right now, I can’t let him linger at all because I like him too much.
If I even let him hang around, I won’t be able to get on with my life.


I hope the pain I’m going through will relieve everyone else of unrequited love and heartache.

If you’re going through the same, I’m here to offer you my hugs and love.
Drop me a note , there’s nothing like knowing you’re not alone.


So as much as it hurts this is what I’m doing and what I suggest you do if you’re going through heartbreak.

1. Don’t contact him. At All.
2. Don’t go to places you know you might run into him. At this point I’m not over him yet and I’m not stable enough to run into him, much less run into him and his girlfriend. I’ve no idea if I’ll feel shattered again and have to re-start my recovery. I don’t know if I can put up a brave front and say hi and smile. At this point, I don’t have the strength to. So I don’t want to see him.
3. Accept the finality of his decision. He’s made a choice, he’s gone. Treat it as he’s out of your life.
4. Lean on friends and whenever you feel down or need company, call or go out with a good friend who will support you
5. Do things that interest you and make you happy.
Take a new class. If painting made you happy, go back and do that. If Yoga helps you relieve your stress do it. Look after yourself and make yourself Happy in a healthy way


With that, I hope this finds you all happy and healthy
Leave me a message to share your story, a huge or word or comfort.

Related stories and links I read as part of the 80 pages of search results:

Wanting More from Life

February.

Gosh. How did we get to February so fast?It’s been a blur.
The project I’m working on has close to completely taken over my life and the past month.
It’s been long days, over 12 hours every day.

I know there is value in taking home a paycheck in itself

The weekends pass in a short dash and the special, prized weekend time seems to evaporate quickly without anything notable to speak of.

Sunday arrives and I feel down.
Today is one of those days I’m down and depressed.

Life can be hard enough just getting through and surviving.
The problem multiplies because I want meaning in my life,
because I have a passion,
and I want to do what I’m passionate about.

This makes life exponentially harder.
It’s hard enough finding a job to earn a decent paycheck to pay the bills,
getting through each day to just get to the weekend.
I look forward to the weekend and it whizzes by.
When you add MORE demands on your life and yourself,
including BIG ones such as
wanting your life to have purpose
and doing what you love in addition to paying the bills,
it adds more demands and stress on your life,
on my life, because I’m trying to do more with the same amount of time and there are some times I just can’t do both.

This depression set in last night when I was in bed thinking, my work has no meaning,
it doesn’t make a difference — it doesn’t make me fulfilled,
and it’s not making a difference to the world.
It’s meaningless.

The only purpose it serves is the paycheck I get in exchange for spending my hours and life doing something I see as meaningless.
I’m willing to say I may be wrong and it may benefit the world in some way — I just don’t recognize it now.

When you keep doing what feels meaningless just so you can have a paycheck... unless you're a bowling ball, then you just keep knocking your head against the wall....

When you keep doing what feels meaningless just so you can have a paycheck… unless you’re a bowling ball, then you just keep knocking your head against the wall….

Yet what would make a difference to me is something that is sufficient for me to live on.
The work I love and am passionate about, Unfortunately, doesn’t even cover my necessities.
I could work on it for hours and I feel fulfilled and happy.

Secondly, because I want to make a difference with my life, I do want to spend more time every month volunteering.
I’m in transition and I’m already having difficulty coping with this job and project so to add another demand on my time, of a monthly or biweekly volunteer activity creates further stress on me and my schedule.

What would really make you happy? Imagine if you could do that everyday, how much happier would you be?

What would really make you happy? Imagine if you could do that everyday, how much happier would you be?

I feel trapped in a state of unhappiness where I know I need to earn an income to pay the bills but doing so means I can’t do the work I love. So I’m just getting through each day, earning enough to pay the bills so I can continue for another day but devoid of the passion and joy that comes with doing what I love.
It feels like life on life support. Passing each day alive but not living life.

I don’t have a solution which makes me even more upset.

I can’t see the purpose or point of living this way.

This is when passion kills. When you know what you love but you can’t do it and it makes you miserable.

Often times, I wish I was like all these people — happy to get through life, content to have a job and earn a paycheck and accept that as life.
Not to have a passion or seek meaning in life.
Less pressure on yourself, on your time, on your life.

What do I do with the feelings of passion and desire to achieve purpose and meaning with my life?
Did you find a way to balance your job and what you love?

related posts

http://www.simplybu.com/are-you-really-living-your-life/

Write Your Envisioned Life

Today, I saw someone painting. It made me miss it.
I’m in the midst of a transition, trying to earn some stable income.
So, I barely have time to get the mundane bits of life in order much less having time for my creative work.
(read: laundry, prescription refills, getting meals together etc.)

I had a thought.
Let’s write our life story, the way we want our life to be and how our life will improve in 2014.

As we look forward to 2014, let’s all do this.

Write down the life you want and envision for yourself.
Write it in absolute terms, manifest and envision the life you want.
Don’t use words like “try” “if only” ” I wish”
Assume those conditions will surface and write what you want to do with you life.
The year is coming to a close, and I’ll write another post on my reflections.

Write the Life You Want To Live

Write the Life You Want To Live

For now, here’s how I envision my life and how I want to live my life and days.

To have the financial security and work on my creative work, pursue my passion and deepen my skill.
I will have a clear desk where I can paint. I’ll set aside a day or two every week to paint
Be disciplined and write everyday through a combination of practice writing exercises, my stories, and finish the draft storyboard of the short film I’ve had in mind for years.
I’ll enjoy the freedom and flexibility of my days and life instead of being stressed daily about paying the bills.
Take the time to have a cup of coffee by the window and just admire the flowers on the still instead of worrying about the bills.

While I was freelancing, I spent majority of my time and energy worrying about the bills and income.
If and when I am back freelancing, I will enjoy it and not worry myself agonizing about money.
Worrying will not change the situation, I might as well enjoy it.

I will make good use of my time, read more and build on my knowledge
I will spend time with people who are dear to me and put aside time every month to volunteer and help the less fortunate.
I will be healthier and get back into a regular exercise routine.
I will be kinder to myself, stop stressing out myself, laugh more, live well, and be happy.
This is the life I want to live.

What’s yours?

Tips on Coping with Anxiety

Overall Attitudes For Handling Anxiety

Here are general mindsets for coping with anxiety if it’s a problem for you. The advice below will work best if your anxious feelings are mild to moderate. If your anxiety is more severe you may need to seek extra help. There are quite a few suggestions below, so pick and choose the ones that speak to you the most.

The points below are about tackling anxiety directly. You can also do a lot to indirectly cut off anxiety at its source by making broader lifestyle changes, which this article discusses.

Another huge part of dealing with anxiety in the long term is facing your fears, both of the situations which scare you, and of your anxiety itself causing something bad to happen in them. This article and this article go into that more.

What doesn’t work is avoiding your fears or trying to satisfy your anxious urges

As this article on the nature of anxiety explains, anxiety will either try to tell us, “Avoid this scary situation and I’ll go away” or “Perform these actions and I’ll go away” These approaches never work in the long term. It’s playing right into the counterproductive behavior your anxiety is encouraging. It’s like trying to cure a drug addiction by smoking more crack, because it makes you feel better when you do it. The proper way to deal with anxiety isn’t nearly as easy or immediately gratifying as giving into the cravings. Most people eventually decide it has to be done though.

As you get more experience with your anxiety you’ll be able to handle it better

When anxiety first starts to negatively affect your life it can throw you for a loop because it’s so scary and unfamiliar. It’s easy to get swept up in it without stopping to think about what’s happening or where it’s taking you. With more experience you’ll start to become more familiar with your anxious tendencies. You’ll also get to know the course your anxiety tends to take when it comes on.

Combined with coping strategies, this will give you more of an ability to address your nervous feelings. The first few times anxiety appears it has the advantage of catching you off guard. With time you’re better able to step back and see the process unfold, and matter of factly say things to yourself like, “Oh, I just got reminded of how I need to pay off that debt. My heart is starting to beat a bit fast. If this keeps up I’ll feel pukey and shaky soon. I’ll use approach X now because I know that usually works.” Just being aware of how everything is going to play out can take away some of its power.

Accept you’re going to be anxious some of the time

Everybody gets anxious sometimes. There are just things in life that are going to make us nervous. This is especially true if someone is just wired to be a little more high-strung. Even someone who’s become a black belt in coping with their nerves is occasionally going to have it get the best of them. We all have bad days, but that’s fine in the long run if they’re spread between lots of better ones.

Sometimes people can start thinking that they have to find a way to never be anxious again. They can get stuck because they believe they have to totally eliminate their nerves before they can get back to their lives. That’s never going to happen though. It’s just a part of life that sometimes we’re going to feel negative emotions. This seems obvious, but sometimes it’s easy to forget, especially since some self-help writing sends an implicit message that it’s an attainable goal to get to a place where you feel happy constantly.

Realize that anxiety is uncomfortable but harmless

One reason anxiety is such a problem for some people is that they (understandably) develop the attitude that their anxiety is horrible and intolerable and they must do everything they can to avoid feeling that way. As soon as it starts to pop up they go into high alert and have an automatic response of wanting to escape and get rid of it.

They can change their relationship to their anxiety if they start to see that while it’s uncomfortable, it won’t kill them, and they don’t necessarily have to flee whenever it appears. Learning to let anxiety be present is important to some other steps to overcoming it.

Realize you can be anxious and still function or enjoy something

Sometimes people start to look at their anxiety in Either-Or terms. Either they’re not nervous about something at all, and they can go ahead, or it makes them nervous and they have to take a pass, or somehow make themselves become completely anxiety-free before they can do it. Many things are worth doing even with some jitters. The benefits outweigh the discomfort.

When looking back at an event after the fact, how anxious you were at the time becomes even less important. For example, someone may go to a concert even though they don’t like crowds. Five years later when they’re remembering it, they’re probably going to be thinking, “I’m so glad I saw that band before they broke up!”, not “I felt a little shaky and nervous at times. I totally should have stayed home.”

Realize it’s just okay to feel anxious

Feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re weak because you’re cowardly and you can’t control your emotions. It’s okay to be nervous about certain things. We all get that way at times. If you’re starting a new job the next week and you’re anxious about it, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling jittery, even though you logically know there isn’t anything to be scared of. Give yourself permission to be afraid. Having this attitude means embracing a contradiction; Anxiety is obviously better if it isn’t around, but if it does appear, that’s totally acceptable as well.

Figure out what is important to you in life and go after it regardless of your anxiety

This is one of the central concepts of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Take the time to clarify what your goals and values are and then commit to living them out. You don’t put your life on hold waiting for your anxiety to go away, because that will never happen. You accept it will always be there to a degree, but you do what’s important to you anyways. Like the point above mentioned, if you’re pursuing something you really care about then any nervousness that comes up along the way will be worth it.

Someone might decide that it’s important to them to increase their social circle. Maybe they also decided one of their values was trying new things. If they get an invitation to go rock climbing with some new people at work, and the thought of it makes them nervous, it’ll be easy for them to accept anyways because they can see how it aligns with what they want out of life. Or say someone has to give a speech to help raise money for a charity. They may not be crazy about public speaking, but they’ll do it because it fits with their value of helping other people. The anxiety might still come up, but it’s put in a totally different context.

Maybe you’ve met an anxious person who seems to follow this philosophy. They come across as fairly anxious in general, but they get by in life. They may even seem oddly comfortable with the fact that they look nervous sometimes, or that they may trip over their words around new people. I’ve even known people to casually tell their friends about how they get so nervous sometimes that they have to throw up, but they just go to the bathroom, do it, and then get back to whatever it is they were doing.

Get to the point where you don’t care if you show any anxious symptoms

This is easier said than done, but it can be very freeing and soothing if you can get to this place. Anxiety can have such a powerful hold on us because we’re afraid of the consequences of experiencing some of its symptoms. Someone may avoid meeting new people because they’re afraid of trembling in front of them. Another person may not take the subway because they’re worried about what might happen if they get nauseous between stops.

It can take a lot of that influence away if someone just says to themselves, “You know what? If I look nervous in front of people, I look nervous. If I turn red while talking to someone it’s not the worst thing ever, if I seem comfortable with myself otherwise. If I’m out at a dinner, and I get so worked up that I lose my appetite and people comment on why I’m not eating, that’s fine. I’ll manage. I’m going to do what I want to do anyways. I’m not going to let my anxiety dictate my life and hold these things over me.” Of course, if you can start to think like this, where you don’t care about the consequences of your anxiety, you’ll often be less likely to feel anxious in the first place.

Be okay with telling people you’re anxious

Another point, similar to the one above, is that it can help to get to a place where you’re comfortable telling people you’re anxious at that moment, or have a problem with anxiety in general. It takes away one more thing anxiety can hold over you, the belief that you can’t ever let anyone find out you’re feeling that way. Anxiety is universal, and pretty much everyone can relate and won’t judge you for it. Yeah, you probably don’t want to tell everyone the whole saga of your nervousness within five seconds of meeting them, but just knowing you don’t have to keep anything a secret can be a relief.

Most anxious symptoms aren’t as obvious as it feels they are

This point seems to contradict the ones above it in a way. I just said not to worry about showing symptoms, but now I’m explaining how many symptoms aren’t even that noticeable? Doesn’t that seem to play into the idea that people should be concerned about everyone picking up on their nervousness? I guess it is a bit of a contradiction, but sometimes I think it’s fine to hold two conflicting ideas in our minds at once.

Like I was saying, many people let their anxiety control them because they’re worried about appearing visibly jittery. Most symptoms of anxiety aren’t as apparent as it seems they are from the inside. Even when someone is extremely panicky, it often doesn’t look all that special to an observer. Just knowing this can take away even more of anxiety’s power.

Learn when to listen to your anxiety and when not to take it seriously

Anxiety isn’t all bad. It warns of dangers we should attend to. A smidgen of anxiety about a school assignment can get us started on it, when we’d otherwise put it off until the last second. Nervousness about a debt we have to pay off reminds us of the importance of not ignoring it, and that we shouldn’t frivolously spend our money. We all know anxiety can be very irrational as well. Our fears can be greatly exaggerated and unrealistic. We can find ourselves worrying about things that are extremely unlikely to happen.

It’s important to balance your reaction to your anxiety between these two ideas. On one hand, a lot of the things our anxiety tells us are totally unrealistic and exaggerated and can be brushed aside. These thoughts are the anxiety speaking, not the ‘real you’. If you want to take a stroll around your block and your nervousness tells you, “A meteor may hit you”, that’s something you need to dismiss.

Sometimes your anxiety is trying to tell you something legitimate, even if the way it’s presenting those concerns is a bit over the top. In these cases trying to make the nervousness go away may not work as well. This sounds a little odd, but here it can help to actually listen to your anxiety and acknowledge that you’ve really heard it and considered what it has to say. The way I picture it is that a part of your mind knows something is a legitimate concern. It sends your anxiety as a courier to relay that message to you. If you keep trying to push the anxiety away, that part of your mind will continue trying to deliver the information. When it’s satisfied you’ve actually heard what it has to say, it will breathe easy and leave you alone.

For example, say you’re nervous because you need to find a job. If every time you start to feel anxious you try to make the feelings go away, they may keep coming back. If you take a minute to listen to what your anxiety is telling you, and then go, “Yeah, I do need to look for a job soon. I’ll get on it. Thanks for the message” you may find it stops coming back. The important thing is that you truly consider the message and intend to act on it. In a sense you ‘solved’ the issue you were anxious about, so the emotion has no reason to linger. You didn’t literally fix anything, but sometimes just intending to get started is the same. Sure, this tip won’t magically work every time, but it can help in some cases.

Follow the ‘process’

When we’re anxious it’s sometimes because we’re worried about something that may happen in the future. For certain situations you may be able to calm your nerves by reminding yourself you’ll follow the ‘process’. What I mean is that for things like looking for a job, there’s an ideal process you go through. You update your resume, you apply for different positions, you reach out to your contacts, maybe even see an employment counselor, and generally try your best to find work. If you don’t find anything, the process has additional steps you can go through, like asking your parents for a loan, selling some of your stuff, applying for unemployment, or moving back home while you wait for the job market to get better. The process is designed in a way that if you follow it you’ll probably be okay.

There are similar processes for other situations like applying to universities, navigating a troubled relationship, or creating a social circle. You can reduce your worries by telling yourself, “There’s no point in fretting about what might or might not happen. I’ll just follow the ‘process’, handle each phase as it comes, and that should see me through.” You’re going to be doing the right actions, so you can take your thoughts out of the equation.

The defiant attitude vs. the calm, accepting attitude

For many of the attitudes mentioned above, you could take two approaches to applying them. Both seem to work in their own way. As I love to say, you could always use a mix of both. One way would be to take a tough, defiant stand towards your anxiety; “Oh, I’m starting to feel pukey before meeting my friends? I don’t care. I’m not letting my nerves push me around any longer. I’ll throw up in front of everyone if I have to, but I’m standing my ground and not avoiding my fears any longer!” This can be a very good way to motivate yourself, but some people might say the whole struggling and fighting thing is unnecessary.

The other route would be to take on a more Zen mindset. You calmly roll with whatever your anxiety dishes out, all without straying from following your values. If your anxiety interferes with your life you accept that and don’t expect everything to work out perfectly all the time. You have a positive, understanding view of your nervousness; It’s just trying to help, but it goes overboard sometimes and it nothing personal.

As written on Succeed Socially

Today’s Something Good I’m Thankful For

I previously posted about how there’s something good in every day.
Especially when it’s one of those bad days,
it’s all the more important to find just 1 good thing to be thankful for.

I like to remind myself of this Especially on a rough day. Look for the good and smile. You will get through it!

I like to remind myself of this
Especially on a rough day. Look for the good and smile.
You will get through it!

I’ve been stressed recently as I mentioned because of a project I’m discussing about.

Since I wrote that post, I’ve been walking around for the past few days with this immense pressure and stress over my head because of the absurdly high demands placed on the project.

The requirements are so crazy high, it feels unreasonable.
It’s one of those situations I hate. I feel people are putting up an absurdly high bar that can’t be reached.

I decided to reach out to 2 friends about it.
And they both took the time to talk to me about it, think about it and offer their thoughts, philosophy & perspective.

The underlying issue still exists, but on these days, boy
I’m sure SO THANKFUL for my friends who will take the time and effort from their day to talk to me and comfort me.

This is when you know you have good friends. I’m so thankful for them.  ❤

So that’s my 1 good thing I’m thankful for.

In the meanwhile, I need to work on handling the pressure and stress so it doesn’t affect me this much.

Not easy but I’m working on it.

This is what my friend told me & I’ll try to keep it in mind
— Eat the anxiety & worry, don’t let it eat me. Run after it and tell it to go away

How’s your day going? What’s your 1 good thing today?

good friends take time to listen to you

Good Friends Make Life Brighter!

Got Milk?

dog, cute dog pics, got milk, Milk Ambassador

Can’t think of a more convincing Milk Ambassador

Taking the Relationship to the Next Level… or Not…

Zoey says “I want you to really commit to me.”

My muscles tense up immediately.
It makes me nervous. VERY nervous.
My instinct is to run.
I try to escape but am blocked by a bed, the wall, and Zoey.

She wants me to take things to the next level
She wants me to believe in her
That’s the commitment she needs.
She tells me not to be afraid of pain.

ARE you KIDDING ME??
This is freaking scary.

I look down. I see the faded blue carpet. I’m not ready.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Maybe someday.
Not now, not next week, not even next month.

I move my arms as fast as I can in a slow manner, trying not to let on I’m gathering my things to leave.
Honestly, she can probably see I’m trying to get away.
My bag and jacket in hand, I say “I need some time to think about it”

I stand up from the table slowly, “I should go…”
She asks gently, knowing she’s tipped the balance with her demand, “When am I seeing you again?”

I’m just 8 steps from the door. Almost out.
I try to act normal, replying ;”I’m not sure of my schedule yet. I’ll call you… When I can. Bye”
I scurry out.

Yeah my alternative medical therapist wants to take things to the next level
so she can poke me with needles. She says it will help my ankle heal.
Ok ok  fine it’s Acupuncture. It’s legit. She’s certified. But STILL!

Do you get your tire punctured on purpose? NO.
Does a punctured tire miraculously heal and become newer than it was before? NO.

You know why it’s called AcuPUNCTURE?
Because it involves puncturing my skin with holes
(I DON’T care how tiny they are!! They are still Holes!)
and maybe even puncturing my organs!!
Actually skin is an organ so in effect, YES. It’s a practice of puncturing my organ!
Thank You but I’ll PASS on that. You keep that for yourself honey!

I’m scared of needles & I hold off getting injections when I’m sick unless I’m left with no other options.
Sharp objects poking into my skin and nerve endings voluntarily? BLURGH
now she wants to poke me with MANY sharp objects. HELLO?!?

It’s not you. It’s me.
Maybe it’s you. Actually, it IS You.
You and Your needles.

I’m sorry this relationship did not work out…..

 That's how I feel about your commitment request. NO. NO NEEDLES.

That’s how I feel about your commitment request.  NO. NO NEEDLES.

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