Brilliant Wittyness

This category contains 28 posts

I Wanted to Kiss You Goodnight

Kiss you goodnight


Who He Chose…

It was meant to a relaxing, laid back afternoon,
enjoying coffee and sinful chocolate cake with a friend.

I walked into the tiny cafe looking for some seats.

Walking along the long wooden table, I felt punched by the walls and probably froze for a few seconds.
Right in front, I saw the guy I was crazy about.
With a girl.
and his arms around her.

I was completely caught off guard. I was not prepared to meet him.
I hadn’t heard from him in awhile and I had guessed he had met someone.
But there’s nothing like being smashed in the face with the visual of the guy you’ve been liking for over a year standing with his girlfriend.
His arms around her when you want it to be you his arms are around.

I turned around and walked out of the cafe slowly, hoping no one, including him, would notice.
Wishing I could fade into the walls, sink into the wooden floor boards and disappear.
Wishing I never walked into that cafe to see him with his new girlfriend.

Once out the door, I walked in a daze towards the small garden patch next to the cafe.
The friend I was meeting was walking to the cafe and I had to quickly revert to my smiley disposition.
A friend confirmed my sighting when she heard I’d seen him
“Oh yes! he’s got a girlfriend! It’s pretty new!”
I kept very silent and put on a poker face the entire time.

For the first few hours, I must have still been in shock and I didn’t feel much.

As the hours have worn on, the questions have surfaced and are playing on repeat in my mind.
The hurt and pain is surfacing. I’ve cried a few times.

As I cried in the shower, I yelled at myself silently: I blame myself partly.
I just screwed up a possible shot at a relationship with someone who has a lot in common.
If I wasn’t so cautious when I first met him and I showed my interest more clearly, it could be me by his side now.
Now I’ve lost a chance to find out if we are compatible, if we can have a life together.
It’s gone.

And I’m reeling in the pain and hurt that he chose someone else over me.
I just wanted us to share our common interests together, learn about other areas together and each other’s perspective, enjoy the simple things in life of reading together on a sofa, admire the view from the mountain, savor the fragrant tea.

He is the only one I’ve met who I’ve wanted to cook for and recreate his favorite childhood dish he misses. I would have experimented countless times to recreate the dish for him since the family recipe has been lost.


I admire him and love his creativity, his understated, quiet sense of humor, his brilliance.
I like him for who he is — not what he’s achieved or what he offers me.
I like him for him.

I’d so wish we could have pursued our interests together, side by side.
I wanted to edge him on and support him and encourage him to embark on his long time dream.

I wanted to have a shot at finding out if we were compatible together,
if we could have a life together.
I believe we could.

I just wanted for us to enjoy the things we had in common and incorporate the differences,
to cheer him on in his efforts, support him when things were down,
stand on his side always, love and laugh together,
make him happy, and be happy together.


Where we both feel our lives are better because we are together:
The bad days are more bearable because we have enough other,
The joys in life are more joyous because we celebrate together.
If he fell sick, I’d look after him and stay with him to lift his spirits.
I just wanted to share our life, have a fuller life, and be happier together because we had each other.
My love is sincere and genuine and that’s all I want.

I don’t know why he lost interest. Was it something I said or did?
I don’t know why he doesn’t appreciate my sincerity and everything I have to offer.
Honestly, how many people would love you for you and not because you have something to offer them?

But he chose someone else.
I’m crushed I have to admit. Completely crushed.
I shouldn’t be taking it this hard.
After all it was just a guy I had been going out with that didn’t work.
I shouldn’t be in tears or feeling this piercing pain throughout my body.

But the pain is there and it hurts like hell.
I need it to go away and I can’t bear living with this pain.
I don’t know why and what went wrong and I know I won’t get any answers.

I have a lot of love and affection for him.
I swear there was chemistry between us and there’s an attraction.
I wish we had a shot at life together.

For now, I need this pain to go away and accept I’ve lost a shot with someone I care deeply for.
I hate being collateral damage but this is life.
In life, sometimes you end up with a losing streak.
Until things improve….

Please share how you got through the pain and hurt when a person you loved chose to be with someone else.lost-love-poems2

Mila Kunis Engagement Ring Close Up! Engaged to Ashton Kutcher!

We’ve been waiting for it

It was bound to happen…

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are engaged!!!

And of course, let’s see Mila Kunis’ engagement ring…

She’s been spotted wearing her ring over the last 12 hours.
The engagement ring has a classic setting that is simple and elegant.
The design features a (very) large oval diamond and a simple platinum band.
The oval diamond is easily over 8 carats and probably 10 – 12 carats.

Wearing Her New Engagement Ring from Ashton Kutcher! , engaged, mila kunis

Wearing Her New Engagement Ring from Ashton Kutcher!

Mila Kunis - Sparkling Engagement Ring, engaged, ashton kutcher , front view , clear

Mila Kunis – Sparkling Engagement Ring – Front View!

And now for the Close Ups of the Engagement Ring spotted on Mila Kunis!

Mila Kunis Classic Engagement Ring Close Up , engaged , ashton kutcher

Mila Kunis Classic Engagement Ring Close Up

Close Up of Mila Kunis' Oval Diamond Classic Setting Engagement Ring , engaged, ashton kutcher

Close Up of Mila Kunis’ Oval Diamond Classic Setting Engagement Ring

Side View of Mila Kunis Engagement Ring , engaged

Side View of Mila Kunis Engagement Ring

Her classic ring is similar to this…
Her band is flatter and thinner and may have some diamonds on it.

An engagement ring similar to Mila Kunis

An engagement ring similar to Mila Kunis

Expect the wedding to be soon! They are eager to wed and have kids together.
Now that Ashton Kutcher’s divorce from Demi Moore is finalized, Ashton and Mila can speed up wedding plans!

They moved in together almost a year ago, in February 2013 and have been happily living together in Hollywood Hills. Their $10.8 million home is over 9,000 sq ft with an amazing view

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher's Gorgeous Home with a Breathtaking View

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher’s Gorgeous Home with a Breathtaking View

Congrats to the young lovely couple!
We can’t wait for more pictures of Mila Kunis’ engagement ring and details on the wedding!

Write Your Envisioned Life

Today, I saw someone painting. It made me miss it.
I’m in the midst of a transition, trying to earn some stable income.
So, I barely have time to get the mundane bits of life in order much less having time for my creative work.
(read: laundry, prescription refills, getting meals together etc.)

I had a thought.
Let’s write our life story, the way we want our life to be and how our life will improve in 2014.

As we look forward to 2014, let’s all do this.

Write down the life you want and envision for yourself.
Write it in absolute terms, manifest and envision the life you want.
Don’t use words like “try” “if only” ” I wish”
Assume those conditions will surface and write what you want to do with you life.
The year is coming to a close, and I’ll write another post on my reflections.

Write the Life You Want To Live

Write the Life You Want To Live

For now, here’s how I envision my life and how I want to live my life and days.

To have the financial security and work on my creative work, pursue my passion and deepen my skill.
I will have a clear desk where I can paint. I’ll set aside a day or two every week to paint
Be disciplined and write everyday through a combination of practice writing exercises, my stories, and finish the draft storyboard of the short film I’ve had in mind for years.
I’ll enjoy the freedom and flexibility of my days and life instead of being stressed daily about paying the bills.
Take the time to have a cup of coffee by the window and just admire the flowers on the still instead of worrying about the bills.

While I was freelancing, I spent majority of my time and energy worrying about the bills and income.
If and when I am back freelancing, I will enjoy it and not worry myself agonizing about money.
Worrying will not change the situation, I might as well enjoy it.

I will make good use of my time, read more and build on my knowledge
I will spend time with people who are dear to me and put aside time every month to volunteer and help the less fortunate.
I will be healthier and get back into a regular exercise routine.
I will be kinder to myself, stop stressing out myself, laugh more, live well, and be happy.
This is the life I want to live.

What’s yours?

Making Christmas 10x Better!

Ah Christmas! I love Christmas and any holiday that puts me and most people in a happy mood.
My favorite Christmases are those spent with fresh snow falling and waking up to the slight chill with the scent of pine trees in the air.

It’s one of those beautiful things in life.
I hope you’re enjoying this holiday season.

What makes Christmas even better is …

1. Having someone to light up my life
Brings a whole new delectable meaning to “Light up my Life”

I'll Light Up Your Life

I’ll Light Up Your Life Baby…

2. A Good Reason to Kiss the Guy You Like


You’re not going to mess with tradition, are you?

Carry Mistletoe in your bag for the entire month of December.
Whenever you see a cute guy or the guy you’ve had a crush on for months, whip out the Mistletoe immediately, Hold it above your head.
Look at him innocently and say “Tradition calls for it….”
Look at the mistletoe and raise your shoulders in a “I can’t do anything about it…” manner
Hope he leans in to kiss you and TA-DA.
Magic moment kiss!!! (Hopefully it’s good. If not, you can cross out the crush and move on.)

3. You have 12 Days to Celebrate Christmas!!

If you’ve been celebrating Christmas for just one day, I hate to break it to you that you’re doing it all wrong.
Most people have forgotten Christmas is a 12 day holiday celebration!!

12 days of feasting, drinking, celebration, presents to self and pure happiness!!
Which means you should be celebrating from Dec 25 to Jan 5 EVERY YEAR!

I’m still waiting for someone to gift me those 3 french hens and 12 golden rings….

Three French Hens

These are some Stylish French Hens. Clearly not for Eating!

I hope you’re all having a wonderful holiday season!
Share what you love about the holidays and I’m sending everyone holiday cheer and happiness!

A Good Boyfriend #conversations


Drinking tea from a mug, chatting with girlfriends

Me: The measure of a good boyfriend is one who…

(runs in & exclaims)
Abby: measures longer than 6 inches???

Me: No, Abby NO!! That’s not what I meant…

Abby: So you like it small?!?!?

Me: NO, NO!!

Abby: I’m confused…

Got Milk?

dog, cute dog pics, got milk, Milk Ambassador

Can’t think of a more convincing Milk Ambassador

Taking the Relationship to the Next Level… or Not…

Zoey says “I want you to really commit to me.”

My muscles tense up immediately.
It makes me nervous. VERY nervous.
My instinct is to run.
I try to escape but am blocked by a bed, the wall, and Zoey.

She wants me to take things to the next level
She wants me to believe in her
That’s the commitment she needs.
She tells me not to be afraid of pain.

This is freaking scary.

I look down. I see the faded blue carpet. I’m not ready.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Maybe someday.
Not now, not next week, not even next month.

I move my arms as fast as I can in a slow manner, trying not to let on I’m gathering my things to leave.
Honestly, she can probably see I’m trying to get away.
My bag and jacket in hand, I say “I need some time to think about it”

I stand up from the table slowly, “I should go…”
She asks gently, knowing she’s tipped the balance with her demand, “When am I seeing you again?”

I’m just 8 steps from the door. Almost out.
I try to act normal, replying ;”I’m not sure of my schedule yet. I’ll call you… When I can. Bye”
I scurry out.

Yeah my alternative medical therapist wants to take things to the next level
so she can poke me with needles. She says it will help my ankle heal.
Ok ok  fine it’s Acupuncture. It’s legit. She’s certified. But STILL!

Do you get your tire punctured on purpose? NO.
Does a punctured tire miraculously heal and become newer than it was before? NO.

You know why it’s called AcuPUNCTURE?
Because it involves puncturing my skin with holes
(I DON’T care how tiny they are!! They are still Holes!)
and maybe even puncturing my organs!!
Actually skin is an organ so in effect, YES. It’s a practice of puncturing my organ!
Thank You but I’ll PASS on that. You keep that for yourself honey!

I’m scared of needles & I hold off getting injections when I’m sick unless I’m left with no other options.
Sharp objects poking into my skin and nerve endings voluntarily? BLURGH
now she wants to poke me with MANY sharp objects. HELLO?!?

It’s not you. It’s me.
Maybe it’s you. Actually, it IS You.
You and Your needles.

I’m sorry this relationship did not work out…..

 That's how I feel about your commitment request. NO. NO NEEDLES.

That’s how I feel about your commitment request.  NO. NO NEEDLES.

Scarlett Johansson ScarJo & Katie Couric Engagement Ring Close Ups!

As I made it clear previously, I suggest focusing on beautiful Scarlett ScarJo instead of her ring.
But I’m sure some of you REALLY want to see the ring in detail.
It features a 3 large diamonds in a row.

So here it is. This is a good photo because you can admire her beautiful cleavage and ring at the same time. We are all winners!

Her Art Deco Ring close up and her gorgeous self and the twin gems...

Her Art Deco Ring close up and her gorgeous self and her twin gems…

A Clear Look at ScarJo's Art Deco Engagement Ring

A Clear Look at ScarJo’s Art Deco Engagement Ring

This engagement ring is much different from her previous ring from Ryan Reynolds, which was a simple round diamond approximately 3 carat in size. Which do you prefer?

ScarJo's simple classic engagement ring from Ryan Reynolds

ScarJo’s simple classic engagement ring from Ryan Reynolds

The other newly engaged celebrity is Katie Couric who spotted a cushion cut diamond (square with rounded edges) surrounded by smaller diamonds. A fairly traditional design.

A stunning ring up close

A stunning ring up close

Katie Couric and fiance John Molner being playful. Maybe he offered to get her a small ring to minimize the attention. Haha!

Katie Couric and fiance John Molner in a playful moment at the US Open

Katie Couric and fiance John Molner in a playful moment at the US Open

Scarlett Johansson’s Engaged! Foget the ring, Admire her cleavage!! Celebrity Engagements! Katie Couric & Mila Kunis too!

In celebrity news and gossip because hey don’t we all love being in the know & escaping our lives just for a little bit?

Well, ScarJo Scarlett Johansson is engaged after a 9 month relationship with Journalist Romain Czydxud(ok that’s not really his last name, it’s one of those difficult to remember or pronounce so what’s the difference really?).

ScarJo's unique Art Deco Engagement Ring with 3 Large Diamons in the middle

ScarJo’s unique Art Deco Engagement Ring with 3 Large Diamonds in the middle

Everyone’s trying to blow up pictures of her hand to get a close up of her engagement ring.
It’s a unique art deco ring with 3 large stones in the middle.
Ok. Fine. I love shiny baubles and diamonds and rings.
Let’s cut to the star.

ScarJo's Engaged. Yeah Yeah. Let's focus on her beautiful cleavage. Oh My!

ScarJo’s Engaged. Yeah Yeah. Let’s focus on her beautiful cleavage. Oh My! Can’t Take my Eyes Off….

LOOK at her gorgeous , amazing cleavage!!!
THAT’s what’s important!! OMG. Holy Amazing Cow Duck Dragon!
Oggle away… at ScarJo … or her ring…
Hey, I can appreciate beauty, aesthetics, and cleavage as much as the next guy or girl.

You can keep staring at that picture. You do not have to read on.
I wouldn’t hold it against you. I understand. FULLY.

Other celebrities have engagement news too!

Katie Couric has found love again after the loss of her first husband to cancer in 1998.
She’s Newly engaged to banker John Molner.
I’ve loved her shows especially during the time she hosted Today.
Happy for her she found love again!

Katie Couric happy in love again

Katie Couric happy in love again!

The glamorous couple on the red carpet looking like a good match!

The glamorous couple on the red carpet looking like a good match!

You can oggle at detailed, close up pics of Scarlett Johansson’s and Katie Couric’s rings

Lastly, there’s hot speculation long time friends and former co-stars Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are now engaged.
Dating since April 2012, Mila was recently spotted with a simple gold band on her fourth finger while out buying flowers.
In any case, it’s a matter of time before they make it official

Gold band spotted on her 4th Finger. Is she quietly engaged or even married to Ashton?

Gold band spotted on her 4th Finger. Is she quietly engaged or even married to Ashton?

As they say, Good things comes in threes, except for ScarJo’s cleavage.
ScarJo, Katie, Mila. 3 Hot Successful Celebrities Engaged at the same time.
Love must be in the air!

Just because he’s showing it to you… #conversations

Somehow, I seem to have a neck for getting into conversations that sound questionable and situations that seem dubious …
I might as well give some good laughs… (see? wasn’t that questionable?)


Jen: You think he’s shown it to you so you’re on the privileged list.
WHO ELSE is he showing it?
Maybe he’s showing it to everyone else!

Me: Hmm. good point

Abby (comes in yelling): WHAT is he showing you?!?!!
I wanna see too!!!

(note: no, it’s not what you think… It just sounds very scandalous =P)

You’ll be Happier Living Your Life, Doing what Fulfills You

Saying “I am a VP at Google” is bound to get admiration and approval from other people you interact with .

Being able to say you have a insert big title  at  Famous Company
will no doubt make you a success in most people’s eyes.
Go to a cocktail party and every one will label you successful, accomplished.
Go on a date, you’ll be seen as achieving, smart.
Make new friends at the gym and they will be impressed.

Yes, yes, yes. There is a lot of positive reinforcement to achieving career success.
It is a good thing.

But is that the only indicator of success & self worth?

Does your job make you truly happy in your heart?
Not the money or fame you get but the actual job.
Happier than doing what you love?
Happier than spending time with the people you love?
Do you know what you love doing?

There is more to life than your job.
Life is more than getting a huge title at big company.

Doing what fulfills you, what is important to you may mean
making unconventional choices and taking an unpopular path in life.
Others will judge you.
Don’t let their superficial judgement make you feel less about yourself.
Do what fulfills you, what makes you happy.
You’ll be happier living your life than someone else’s life.
You can skip to the illustrated story here. or keep reading…. =)

“Live a good life. And in the end it’s not the years in a life, it’s the life in the years.”
Abraham Lincoln

If you have a passion, nurturing and staying connected to that passion is important.
It keeps you motivated and happy.

You might have a great business idea, a better way to do something, a superior product.
And you decide to leave that comfortable corporate job to start your company doing just that.

Maybe you have a family and you realize how quickly the kids are going to grow up
even if they are a handful and take up so much of your time now.
You may want to consciously spend enough time with them before they reach the age
where they only want to hang out with their friends and lock themselves up in their room.

Hopefully you have a list of things you’d like to do or learn.
When I spoke to someone about leaving their job (which was making them miserable),
the person exclaimed “What would I do with all that time?”
I felt sad for the middle aged person who lived long enough,
had gotten all the big titles at a major company but was empty inside and had no interests.

If you’re middle aged and have nothing you want to try or learn or interests to pursue,
You have no idea who you are or what you are about.
You just chased the other rats in the rat race and got ahead.

Some of us in a moment of revelation or sign of insanity, take a plunge
and decide other parts of our life are important enough
to break away from the lemming masses running over themselves to get the bigger title, better job.

If you are one of those people, Good for you. Keep doing it!
Don’t let others who snub you get you down.

If you have a dream of someday doing something others call “crazy” ,

Keep working on it and when the time is ripe, make your dream happen!
It’s not going to be easy but take a deep breath, find the people who will support you (those are your true friends) and go for it.

The trouble is most measure and judge others by their jobs and tittles.
They see it as the main sign of how successful, wealthy, and accomplished you are.
They fail to understand there is much more to life than the job or title.

Of course, such people only want to associate with successful, wealthy people.

Why waste time with people who won’t benefit you by introducing you to
other important people or throwing you a piece of business?

That person who chose to pursue a passion that pays little.
They are nothing, unimportant, possibly a failure.


Over the weekend, I had to tolerate such people around a dinner table.
They didn’t want to talk to me, and give me the evil eye every time I said something.
In their eyes, because I no longer had a big title, I was inferior and a failure and they made that very clear.
I’ve seen them a couple of times and they’ve snubbed me.

Did it hurt? sure.

I told myself, I wasn’t going to let their superficial values and judgement cloud my own sense of self worth.
Even though I was stuck at that dinner table for hours, I chose to enjoy my food and drinks.
I laughed the night away, I spoke to people who seemed to mind less (I was in a superficial crowd).
I amused myself. Amusing yourself is always a good skill.

We all have different circumstances,
we grapple with different sorrows in our life that nobody knows
We battle with different challenges that others do not understand.
Others do not understand our pain or moments of despair.
We have different passions, different priorities.
Some are narrow minded, some see the bigger picture.

Despite not knowing you personal situation, these people want to judge you and your life
based on their narrow, superficial criteria.

Don’t let external disapproval make you feel less about yourself.
In fact, having the courage to take an unconventional path is more than these people will understand.
Just because others view you with disdain doesn’t mean you have to take on their negative view about yourself.
They may snub you in your face, lift your head up high.
Know why you are doing the things you choose, accept the limitations of the situation.
Remember what you love about what you are doing and your goal,
whether it’s completing your first novel or staying home to look after the kids.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your life. Life has its ups and downs.
Anyone who doesn’t understand that and fails to have compassion,
will one day learn that very lesson the hard way and
find the like-minded superficial company they keep abandon them as well.

Even if you’ve lost your job or are in a less ideal job,
use that time to do other things you love, things that bring you joy.
It doesn’t have to cost money.
It can be as simple as spending more time with the kids,
borrowing that book you always wanted to read, learning a new hobby/skill.

Look for training and development programs where you can improve your skills
or learn about that area you always wanted to.
Keep living, find the things that make you happy and,
keep persevering to get to where you want to.

To live a meaningful life and do what you love,
You may make unconventional choices and take an unpopular path in life.
Others will judge you.
Don’t let their superficial judgement make you feel less about yourself.
Do what fulfills you, what makes you happy.
You’ll be happier living your life than someone else’s life.

Do what you love, Live your life, Be happier

Do what you love, Live your life, Be happier

Batman to Batfleck… Ben’s getting Fleck….

Warner Brothers announces Batman casting.

The next Batman goes to….. *Drumroll*

AFLAC as Batman.

Well, a duck shows up on stage.

They all look at each other. A duck playing Batman?!? That’s not convincing!
Maybe they’re casting an unlikely candidate! THey look through the papers.
Oops a small mistake. It’s not AFLAC, it’s AFFLECK.

They called Ben Affleck. That makes more sense than a duck right?
Uhrm, does it? The internet mounts a mutiny!

Batfleck, Benman, Batben

The internet and the peoples are protesting against Warner Bros’ choice to cast Ben as Batman.

Poor Ben Affleck, he’s getting a lot of Fleck *cue corny laughter* (i’m sorry, i can’t help myself…)

Hmm maybe AFLAC would have been better? Which is worse?

Let’s enjoy the major developments…

Fans eagerly awaited to hear who will play Batman in the next superhero movie.
Today, Warner Bros announced the highly anticipated decision….

It’s mega star, celebrity…. AFLAC!!!

Oh wait, it’s the wrong spelling on the envelope….

A small mix up in casting...  AFLAC and Affleck are not the same...

A small mix up in casting… AFLAC and Affleck are not the same…

In the end, AFLAK was supportive of Ben. But not everyone was happy. Grumpy cat was PISSED.

So maybe the cat’s opinon doesn’t really matter because cats don’t buy tickets to movies …

I'll scratch his eyes out if he tries to take this away from me!!!

I’ll scratch his eyes out if he tries to take this away from me!!!

Hey Ben’s an Oscar winner, he’s acted, he’s directed, he’s going to stand up for himself!

Anything else to say? Stop bitching. Your Argoment is VOID!

Anything else to say?
Your Argoment is VOID!

And of course, everyone wants to drag his good friend Mat into this ….
They prefer Bat Damon to BatFleck.

What’s your reaction to BatBen?

Let’s hope Marvel likes Bat Ben alot….

Marvel Loves Batfleck!!  Or do they??

Marvel Loves Batfleck!!
Or do they??

How do you feel about Ben Affleck as Batman?

Images credit:  Tumblr,  spiderniels, necpd, sysmatic, fastcount123

How Difficult is Dating these Days?

How difficult do you think dating is these days?

Let’s check based on recent news stories which pretty much tells the tale of my dating life…

You’re trying to be a size 0 and working your ass out (literally) in the gym in your little spare time because you’re trying to get your body to be as close to Mirander Kerr’s body as possible …. for when you walk down the runway in diamond encrusted lingerie being watched in HD by millions of viewers…

Because guys expect you to look like a supermodel... I'm not starving & turning into a gym rat just to get your interest

Because guys expect you to look like a supermodel…

As for me? I love food. I’m not going hungry to be thin.
As it is I have the toughest time keeping my weight stable.
I’ve gained 3 pounds over the last 2 days.
I’m not fat, but I’m not super-model proportions either.

This woman, Christy Morgan, lost  289 pounds over 2 years from changing her diet….. I salute her.
Her story is pretty inspiring, go read it. I’d be happy to lose 10lbs…

Christie Morgan at over 400lbs before and 114lbs now

Christie Morgan at over 400lbs before and 114lbs now

She says it’s all about “I CAN”.
Guess what people? I can works both ways
I CAN finish an entire bag of Cheetos in 1 sitting!!!

She’s now lighter than I am at 114lbs… that is probably not a good sign for me.
But I take deep breaths. I remember reading some self-help tips that I should breath A LOT.

I get the courage to tell the guy I’ve liked for the longest that I like him and want to spend time with him…
Not pushy. Just telling him how I feel.
Somehow I think he’s going to see me more since I’ve helped him clear the uncertainty factor.
Then, he says he wants a beauty queen with brains…. Totally depressing.
I eat half a tub of Ben & JErry’s.
I’ll have to spend the next week working that off…
Wait. I barely work out. I guess that’s not going to be a problem after all! =P

Well, I came across this while emptying the ice cream tub.

“Beauty Queen Arrested in Bomb Making and Bomb Throwing”

Miss Riverton, UT, Kendra Gill enjoys making home-made bombs and throwing them out of cars at night.
The Miss Riverton Organization couldn’t wait to see what she was going to accomplish this year.
Yeah, well, now they’ve seen. The wait is over.

Isn’t dating tough? You think you’ve the perfect date with beauty and brains.
You’re SO intrigued by her love for chemistry.
Than she bombs. Quite Literally.

When Brains and Beauty Collide... She's beautiful, especially when assembling home-made bombs  with sharpnel and throwing them out of cars. You want Feisty? You Got It!

When Brains and Beauty Collide…
You want Feisty? You Got It!
She’s beautiful, especially when assembling home-made bombs with shrapnel and throwing them out of cars.

Ha! He can get someone who’s going to blow up his house when she’s pissed with him.
Here’s brains and beauty… That’s what he wanted right??

I chuckle and feel MUCH better.

So I decide to move on to meeting someone I met online .

He seems nice. We seem to be able to have a conversation, at least we do online.
He’s educated and can write a proper sentence.
We meet up….

He couldn’t find the place and said I gave him bad directions.
His online personality is much better.
The conversation doesn’t flow. Mosquito larvae would breed if we stayed long enough.

I’m trying to make conversation with all my magical powers without it sounding like a game of Taboo.
He seems not to be making any effort to initiate conversation.
He answers my conversation topics with less than 5 words.
He seems bossy and dismissive about the things I like
(art – “what’s the point?” , animals – “There are too many to save. They’ll live or die.”)

You thought that was a bad first date? Well, I thought I had a bad first date.
Then I realize that wasn’t that bad.
This guy had a HORRIBLE first date!!   Woman on Date Falls to Death from 17th Floor Balcony
Imagine the trauma and years of therapy he’ll have to go through….

The Murderer: Defective Balcony

The Murderer: A Defective Balcony

The takeaway is : bad dates aren’t THAT bad. There’re worse dates (see above)

Maybe I should follow their cue and try an experiment with a guy friend I like.
A Social Experiment: 40 Days of Dating Between Friends

Can Men & Women just be friends?  Chris Rock jests, every platonic friend that he had was someone he was trying to sleep with, made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in the "friend zone."

Can Men & Women just be friends?
Chris Rock jests, every platonic friend that he had was someone he was trying to sleep with, made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in the “friend zone.”

Yeah the only problem is I don’t think I can survive if he tells me I’m only a friend to him.
And I’m sure that will pretty much ruin the entire friendship.

If I ever get to the point of being engaged or going on a honeymoon,
I sure hope there are no boating accidents or fatal cruises involved….

Dating is difficult… to me.
How about you? Is it a breeze or tough for you?
Share your dating stories!

Honeymoons make me nervous…

Initially I was going to write about dealing with being judged but hey, it’s the weekend. Let’s loosen up.

So, I read about the unfortunate boating accident at the Hudson River that left the bride to be and a groomsman dead. I went all “You SEE??? That’s what could happen if you get married!!”

Ok yes, I realize most couples do actually go on on to get married and live for a few more weeks/months/years. But these dead spouse-to-be stories just send chills down my spine.

I get a little nervous about weddings and getting married. If you watch enough programs like “Fatal Vows” , “Happily Never After”, maybe you would be too.

I’m sure most of you would say most guys aren’t that way! Look at my guy, he’s a great guy …
Yeah, most of the time, when family and friends are interviewed, they say “I can’t believe s/he did it… they seemed so in love… They were so caring… This isn’t the person I know…” That’s right, You can’t tell who’s going to end up trying to kill you on your honeymoon (or any other time) for your insurance money (or whatever it is you have they want)!

Having watch, heard, and read about too many stories about one spouse/spouse-to-be planning an accident or scheming to get rid of the other to inherit their insurance policy or assets,  I get quite nervous about getting married. My neck starts to feel a little delicate shall we say …

Whenever my friends announce they are getting married and say , “We’re going on a lovely luxury cruise for our honeymoon!” or “We’re going to a Safari for our honeymoon!” I get all tensed up and mildly freak out in my mind. If I could, I’d run in circles repeatedly like a puppy being scared and anxious alone in a room.

My thoughts on those honeymoon trips… “REALLY? a cruise… with a BALCONY did you say? how… erm…Lovely?” Yeah, that Balcony will make it SO MUCH easier to push the other person down and fake an accident. I do not recommend a cruise or balcony suite. Not now, maybe not ever.

Yachts and Cruises sound romantic... Until you're pushed off the deck or balcony...

Yachts and Cruises sound romantic…
Until you’re pushed off the deck or balcony…

“A Safari! How Exciting! There will be LIONS in a very open jeep… OH you planned a few PRIVATE safari drives too!!! How exciting” Yeah, that will just be so much easier to push the other person over to the Lions and fake an accident. So, I do not recommend a safari either. You see the trend.

“Scuba Diving?? It’s ok I can see the fishes on TV.
No, I really don’t want too.
It’ll be too easy for you to cut my oxygen tube during the dive.
You could easily let the knife sink to the ocean floor and no one would ever find it”

I guess that might be the end of the relationship if I ever voice these concerns.

Weddings and the idea of marriage make me nervous …. especially if there is a boating, cruise, safari, scuba dive etc.
AND a new insurance policy in the spouse’s name involved…

I’m glad all my friends have returned from their honeymoon safely — together.
In one piece.

That’s either #LowExpectations (If I get married, I’d like a honeymoon and life without my spouse trying to kill me) or
#HighStandards (I want a good guy, one who doesn’t try to kill me?)

and yes, I realize that story about the boating accident isn’t about one spouse trying to kill the other…
Well, at least it’s doesn’t *appear* to be, YET…

Have a good weekend, have fun,
Don’t get on a cruise with anyone who’s a beneficiary of your insurance policy.
Best thing — make your pet your beneficiary. They generally don’t try to kill you.
Unless your pet is a viper or lion…

I want Corpse guy’s number …

“I guess it depends on what you’re using them for….”

A series of text messages I got from a completely random number:  

them:  Do I need all of these corpses?

me: Daddy?

them:  What?

me: Is this my father?

them:  Larry?

me:  No.  I think you have the wrong number.

Them:  Sorry.

me: But wait…why DO you have so many corpses?

them:  Why did you assume I was your father?

me:  It’s sort of a long story.

them:  Ditto.

me:  Well.  Good luck to you then.

them:  You too.

And this is why I LOVE the Bloggess!  Check out The Bloggess

There’s no one else like her. You’ll wonder how you survived this long without being part of her witty, hilarious days!

I want THEM’s number. I really really really want to know how they got that many corpses and what THEM plans on doing with them (the corpses).

If you’re here from NaBloPoMo where the theme of the month is Connect, well, let’s just say I’m dying to connect with people and guys over interesting conversations… (pun totally intended…). Ideally, it would be interesting conversations and meaningful relationships but I’ll take what I can get… (we’re already covered how well my dating life is…)

I bet THEM and I could strike up a friendship — This is how I imagine our conversation:

ME: You know, were you just a tad worried when you realized you had the wrong number?

Them: Nah, we can just add to the corpses… We have a lot as is, one more is nothing…

ME: Hmmm I see. Should you really be texting about corpses? Isn’t it a little sensitive?
You could get into A LOT of trouble… and I mean the FBI, CIA, NYPD, LAPD, WhateverstatePD

Them: I guess, but we’re not too worried. Look how the rest of them turned out…

ME: I can’t see how they turned out but I’m certainly seeing a trend…. Well, I’m just looking out for you. You can be sure I won’t say a thing. It’s just between you and me.

Them: Thanks man. Good to know you got my back. That’s pretty kool.

ME: I’m a woman=)  It must be stressful.  I’m here anytime you need to talk.
When I say I’m here, don’t come find me or turn up at my door. Texting will do…

Them: sure honey. that’s nice. Our truck is full right now so we try not to travel unless we absolutely need to   take care of things…

ME: OK. Sounds good. stay where you are. Be safe and warm. Keep the heat and moisture away, they’re not good for your “passengers”. You should bring a lot of, uhrm, hydrogen peroxide to remove the blood stains?

You know, I just googled and it’s not clear what you use to remove blood stains since they are So. Stubborn.
What Do You use?

Them: Our trade secret. Sorry. can’t share. You often have to remove blood stains too?

ME: Uhrm, think that hits my boundary… Let’s leave this for another time…. I should go sleep. It was nice talking to you. Text soon again!

Them: no prob.  we gotta go make grilled meat sandwich. goodnight

Because Croissant doesn’t have enough butter …

I typed this post Twice. and when I saved it, it got deleted Completely! TWICE!


Here we go again!

I have a soft spot for croissant.
Especially freshly baked croissant with its unmistakable aroma and alluring call saying “Have me! I’m perfectly warm, flaky, and buttery!”

I walked into a new cafe this morning and the lovely smell of baking croissant hit me the moment I opened the door.
It was a little expensive for factory dough croissant (the kind that comes in a slab and you pinch it out and roll it and leave it in the oven to bake.)
But the aroma was too much for me. I HAD to have a croissant.

I pointed out to the girl the single croissant sitting on the baking tray she just took out from the oven.
It was calling out my name.

I was surprised by what I got ….

Because there ISN'T enough butter in croissant. They thought my heart needed MORE butter...

Because there ISN’T enough butter in croissant. They thought my heart needed MORE butter…

There’s PLENTY of butter that goes into croissant, which is why it’s fragrant, flaky, and buttery.
So, to serve it was butter is like being served Cream of Mushroom soup with a side cup of Full Cream just in case there isn’t enough cream in the soup…

For 3 seconds, my good and evil self debated whether I should do the right thing and return the butter.

But, salted butter… Oh! Another weak spot…. Yes, I have many many weak spots….

Unfortunately for my arteries, My evil self won and I spread the salted butter onto the warm, crisp, flaky croissant.

4 bites later, the croissant was gone, half the salted butter was used and I was a happy (but guilty and fatter) person.

But to start the day with croissant? Oh such joy!

I hope everyone’s having something good to kick start your day. Share what it is that makes you happy to start your day with!

Low on Survival Instincts

Very honestly, I do not have the best survival instincts — unless we’re talking about ball sports where my instinct is to run away from the rapidly speeding ball lest I get hit by it.

Every now and then I inadvertently do things that in hindsight were not a good idea and life threatening to some degree.

So, let’s get to my latest deed.

I was having a chunky fish and vegetable soup and as I scooped it i saw half a fish in it. I figured out I could eat the fish.

Deadly fish soup...

Murderous fish soup…

I took one bite of the fish and felt a bunch of long, fine bones, more than 10 bones. It was one of those super bony fishes. I’m bad with bones and fish in general.

Survival instincts would have dictated I spit it ALL out.

But since I’m low on Vitamin Survival, I tried to separate out the bones in my mouth and threw out the bones and swallowed the rest.

Bad. Idea.

Which only hit me AFTER i swallowed the meat and bones.
This is what happens when you are low on survival instincts.
The obvious is not that clear.

I felt the bones in my throat and tried to cough it out to no avail.
The worse part? I did this once before. I thought there was a bone in the fish meat but figured it was just a hard grain of rice and swallowed it. At which point I realized, UH OH, that WAS a BONE!fish bone

I don’t feel the bone in my throat now but am a little freaked out and hoping nothing bad happens like any tears to my oesophagus or digestive tract.
I sigh at my own stupidity and lack of survival instincts.
This is not good. Assuming you are trying to stay alive.

If anyone has advice on this fish bone swimming around in my digestive system, please leave me a comment or note!

Happy Sunday, Enjoy your day & most importantly, stay alive.

Let me cook for you, my dear…

While watching TV…
Me: Hmm. I kind of miss being able to cook for a boyfriend…

Friend: Yeah. You mean you miss being able to cook at all…

Me: I cook!…. every now and then…

Friend: Sure. Of course you do. You cook and it’s a good outcome when no pots get burned and no fires engulf the kitchen…

Me: I’ve never burned a house down from cooking!

Friend: Great. It’s better if you don’t cook. And it’s not like you’d cook for a guy. HOW many times have you attempted to poison a boyfriend that way?

Me: I like the idea of having a boyfriend that I could hypothetically cook for… it’s sweet and romantic… and I didn’t poison any boyfriends!!

Well, there was that once I offered to cook for a guy I liked… except that it was really more of a threat…
I told him how I screwed up Carbonara a bunch of times and it ended up as soggy scrambled eggs in pasta.

Even i can't bear to eat my failed Carbonara

Even i can’t bear to eat my failed Carbonara

And after telling that story, I offered to cook him dinner…. It worked brilliantly.
He kept saying no. So i didn’t have to cook in the end. Which I didn’t want to anyway. I just wanted to offer and make sure my offer wasn’t taken up. Thank god he wasn’t suicidal.

That was quite amusing I must say. I still chuckle when i think of that. Brilliant me.

Skeptical Hope

Hollywood is great at making series/movies that for attracts us for different reasons.

Sometimes, I stay glued to the TV because what I’m watching gives me hope.
Hope — that love is just around the corner, that life will get better, that things will work out (it usually does in Hollywood). As I’m writing this, it seems ironic to say Hollywood makes shows that give us hope. because it’s usually associated with fake,  false, and staged.

I was watching an episode of Enlightened (HBO) and I sat there continuing to watch it cos it gave me hope and IDEAS.  It put the idea in my head of “Hmm maybe i should just call a guy and tell him I want to see him. Maybe that’ll make everything easier!” Yeah sure.

Let me give you an example of the hope Hollywood gave me vs. reality.

Hollywood Version

Amy: I was thinking of you and I miss you. How about coming over tonight?

Guy: Uhrm coming over? to your side? Uhrm, Ok sure, how about I come about 6 and pick you up for dinner?

Real Life

Me: hey I was thinking of you… How about meeting up sometime this week?

Guy: uhrm, i’m not free bye. (proceeds to run away)
I’d like to emphasize this actually happened. I did that before I watched this episode. So even though i was slapped in the face by the guy, this episode made me feel like I should somehow crazily do it again.

Hollywood Version

Amy: It’s so good to see you

Guy: It’s so good to see you too.

Real Life

Me: It’s so good to see you
Guy: Uhm ok. I gotta go (runs away)
Me: But you just got here…
Guy: (Speeds up and runs faster)

You get the idea.

So yes. While I was watching the episode, it was somehow moving. And that’s NOT the word most people would use to describe Enlightened. If I had to describe it I’d use words like “strange, awkward, trainwreck”. So just to be clear, it’s not some heart warming series.

But yeah it felt good watching that exchange.
Clearly, the effect is short lived since I’m sitting here writing (skeptically) about how badly the real life version would turn out. =P

But hope is wonderful. It’s great. Until it comes crashing down. Like a sugar high.
The solution? Drink more hope, eat more sugar. Don’t ever crash. Keep the high going.

Stay High, Keep Eating Sugar

Stay High, Keep Eating Sugar

My condition IFPBM… Preventing me from getting things done

How is everyone’s weekend going? Tell me the fun things you’re doing or the crazy things that happened.
I want to hear it!  Every now and then, I’m afraid of stupid, absurd, silly things…

I can’t get things done because I have IFPBM. (pronounced as if-pam). Haven’t heard of it? Keep reading. I’ll fill you in. It’s a fairly common condition among the general population and usually not life threatening but can be very serious in certain cases where it disrupts simple life tasks. In the most serious cases, it renders  a person unable to do certain undesirable tasks. It may cause the person to freeze in the midst of attempting to do simple acts like taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom, or reading emails. IFPBM can be stressful for the person and people around them and unfortunately there is no cure. It can result in difficulty in sleeping, increased stress levels, anxiety. I’ll tell you later on what helps relieve my IFPBM condition.

I have IFPBM There is no shame

I have IFPBM
There is no shame

The condition hits sufferers like myself every now and then. It is out of the blue and can’t be predicted, very much like an asthma attach. As it so happens, I was checking my email yesterday when IFPBM hit me. Sometimes, I suddenly got afraid of opening certain emails from actual humans (vs newsletters I subscribe to or Sephora promo emails because they can’t be telling me anything special). I’m afraid of what the email will say. I have no idea why I get scared of emails. What is it going to do? Eat me up?

This has happened often enough that I knew it was my IFPBM condition hitting me. So I spent yesterday staring at a few emails in my preview pane for an hour or so. Afraid to open the emails. not that I was expecting someone to say something mean or that it was some major life altering result in the email. I have no idea why I have this fear. Today, I opened my email and stared at it again. I didn’t want to engage in a confrontational staring match with the emails so I decided to write this post.

So I’m kind of (actually, I AM), procrastinating opening the emails and replying to them. As you can see, I have trouble getting things done sometimes…. *blushes* Sometimes it’s because I have irrational fears. Sometimes it’s because of procrastination.  (yeah, did you check out my other post about procrastination? It all seems to be linked to the same vague issue of #cantgetthingsdone)
All in all, it’s all *waves hand around* seems to be a bunch of problems.

I can’t get things done, I get stressed out, It keeps me from sleeping, and I get anxious about all the things that are piling up undone. Not Fun. As I mentioned earlier, there is no cure. The best way to deal with IFPBM is to engage in relaxing activities or things that make you happy and decrease your stress/anxiety. For me, that can range from having a cup of green tea, eating ice cream, eating chocolates, going out for a nice dinner.

So, I can’t get things done because I have IFPBM. (pronounced as if-pam). Haven’t heard of it? Don’t bother googling it. It stands for Irrational Fears, Procrastination, Blobbly Mess. I suspect many of you will recognize this in yourself. Can’t get your feet to take the trash out in Winter? IFPBM. Can’t get out of the couch to clean the bathroom? IFPBM.

So, the next time you can’t get yourself to do something, say “I have IFPBM. I need your support and understanding. It would help relieve my symptom if we _________ (went out for dinner/had sex/went for ice cream/whatever you enjoy doing).” There is no shame in acknowledging you are IFPBM.

BTW, before you ask your doctor about this condition and suspect you have it, please know that I just created this diagnosis. It’ll probably make its way into the 8th edition of the DSM. If you know what DSM is, you deserve a prize. Here’s a pat on the back! (If you don’t, it’s the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It’s published by the American Psychiatric Association and lists conditions and the criteria a patient must exhibit to be classified as suffering from a certain psychiatric condition. They are suppose to release the 5th edition mid 2013. It’s also a sub-text subtle pun at how long they take to update the manual and factor in new conditions and symptoms.)

Remember, There is no shame in acknowledging you are IFPBM.
Band together IFPBMers!!! I hope this cracked up at least 1 person…. =)

ps: and now I need to get to reading those emails and replying to them and overcoming my IFPBM…

30 mins later, I have still not confronted those scary emails. I’ve been surfing through blogs reading what other people are doing. Must. muster up courage. and read emails. and reply. NOW.

2 hrs later, I finally faced the scary emails, read them, and replied to them. But it sure took alot longer than it should have. I’m not sure if I should yell at myself or pat myself on my back. That’s another condition I could add on to….

That is why I do not have kids, I might end up in Jail or the Psych Ward for Protecting them

In Mommy world, there is apparently an uproar over the redesign of Merida.(who the hell is Merida?!?!)

meridaOk when i glanced at both (prob 2 secs), I didn’t see a marked difference other than a dark blue vs bright blue dress.(yes, clearly some things appeal to me more than others. In this case, clothes. Just like I’m sure a guy would notice redesigned Merida has bigger breasts vs. brighter clothes)
I probably do not notice the many differences because I do not have kids. I am not familiar with Merida.
The only blue childhood hero I am familiar with is Cookie Monster.

I agree it’s an over-sexualized world. Imagine my horror when my 2 year niece danced and started gyrating and thumping her hips. If I had kids, there would be no tv and only Sesame Street on DVD. I’d lock them up at home and keep them from being exposed to all these ideas and images way before they should be.

That way I wouldn’t have to worry about how to explain these things to them, reinforce the important of being a strong woman and building character vs. the world’s obsession about looks, sex appeal, and being thin.

Yeah, and then someone would probably call child services or the welfare department and they’d cart me off to jail or the psych ward for protecting my kids because they would decide it was harmful to lock up the kids and it would be better for the kids to be exposed to the over-sexualized, size 0 obsessed world.
and that is why I do not have kids.

Ok, also, because I do not have a husband.
Not that you need a husband to have kids. I could always go to the sperm bank, adopt, etc.

(some people have have the ability to write short sweet posts. Notice my posts and thoughts kind of have a story of their own. From Disney toys, to kids, to husbands…)

Again. Let’s get back to the main point. If I had kids, I’d probably be sent to jail/psych ward for protecting them from the world & inappropriate media content.  I would like to avoid going to jail or the psych ward….
Read the Bloggess’ thoughts on new Merida.

Happy Floating By!

Take Duck as a good example.
Duck is bright yellow with big black eyes and a happy smile (inferred).

It’s hard not to squeal and smile seeing the giant bright yellow duck floating along.
It’s comforting and brings warm happy thoughts (to most people). If you’re having a bad day, watching Duck float by will probably put you in a better mood and bring a smile to your face. That’s comfort. That’s the healing and beauty of art.

Art, in many forms, transcends cultures, languages, age, gender. That’s the beauty of art.
It warms the heart and brings together those of us who appreciate and love a piece of art.
It gives us something in common and unites us by bringing us together.

People might debate if this is really art, how creative is it to blow up something in the bathroom etc etc etc.
Art can be simple and easy to appreciate. What’s the point if something is so complex that only a few people can relate to it?

My point is, sometimes, it just needs to be as simple as something that people can enjoy.

Duck floating by at Victoria Habour against the sky scrapper backdrop of HK Island

Duck floating by at Victoria Habour against the sky scrapper backdrop of HK Island

Duck by Florentijn Hofman is currently making its way around HK as part of its global tour and was previously in Sydney. Hofman’s whimsical, contemporary public art works makes me think of Jeff Koon’s pieces, an artist whose works I enjoy very much. Duck  London

At 16.5m, Duck is 5 storeys tall, and the bright cheerful sight is easy for anyone to enjoy. As Hofman expresses, “The Rubber Duck knows no frontiers, it doesn’t discriminate people and doesn’t have a political connotation. The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties: it can relieve mondial tensions as well as define them.”

Yes, it brings a smile to my face. It makes people laugh, giggle, and smile. It’s healing alright. And you didn’t even need weed or prescription meds or junk food. Just a giant bright yellow duck floating along =)

Duck against the smoky air of HK and tightly packed apartments. It dwarfs the tugboat!

Duck against the smoky air of HK and tightly packed apartments. It dwarfs the tugboat!

It is however also a stark contrast against the grainy, smoky backdrop of certain parts of HK.
Therein, again, lies the beauty in an art piece as simple as this. The contrast highlights the cramped living conditions and polluted air of HK. Art is how you look at it. It’s about enjoying it, it’s about drawing you to think about the piece and its surrounding.

Have a bright, sunny day ahead!

My Suitor

Hello, I’m SO SORRY I’ve been MIA. I’ll post another post about why I haven’t been posting.

Let’s get to the fun conversation I had yesterday.

As the title post suggests, my suitor came calling yesterday ….
Side note: It sounds romantic right? =) Why doesn’t anyone speak/write this way anymore?
No one uses “My suitor” or “came calling”.
Now it’s “this guy” “texted me” or “hung out with me”. So unromantic and unclear…

Back to the conversation with my friend…

Me: My suitor came calling yesterday…
Friend: Hope you didn’t pick up the phone after THAT date…

Me: uhrm no, it was a different suitor. He came hopping into my living room more precisely…

Friend: Frogs do NOT count as suitors!!

Me: He’s NOT a frog!! He’s a PRINCE!! We just haven’t kissed yet!!!

Friend: How have things turned out this way?  *sighs*

Me: I don’t know. But at least I have a persistent suitor….

I tell you, He's a PRINCE!!! Not simply a frog!

I tell you, He’s a PRINCE!!! Not simply a frog!

Said suitor, takes the form of a young frog. I maintain He’s a Prince. Wait till we kiss!!

He often comes around and sometimes decides to hop into my living room. Since this has occurred multiple times, I consider him a persistent, dedicated suitor…. I’ve yet to get a good picture of him and will post it once I get a good one.

He’s very dark green and he only comes over at night (I know, sketchy right?) so it’s hard to get a good, clear picture.

As this post alluded to, I had a date recently… and it was, well, interesting ….

That’s another post to entertain all of you…. Might as well get a good laugh out of these less than stellar dates!

So I owe you many posts. 1. Why I’ve been MIA    2. The recent date.

The No Carb Diet Update…

(This kind of continues from yesterday’s diet story…)
I’m sure you’re all dying to hear the update on whether yesterday was truly a No Carb day….

We’ll save that for the last, because that’s what soaps/drama serials do… they save it for the next episode…

I just realized that whenever I decide to go on a diet, I set the limits of the diet (No Carbs, No Diary, No Alcohol, etc etc)
However, there’s something even more interesting I just realized today.
When I go on a diet, my head interprets it as “Warning: DON’T EAT!!!”
So while most normal people abstain from foods they are not suppose to eat, I on the other hand, try to abstain from eating completely. Other than coffee or tea – which just makes matters worse because you get dehydrated.
In my defense, I suppose simply Not eating at all produces faster results…
Well, that’s until you (or I) feel faint or get stomach pains… Which I get pretty often.
If you want a clue why, see above.

So today has started out this way… me trying not to eat till it hit me that I tend to do this when I’m on a diet.

Which means when i’m on a diet, it’s not really a diet, it’s more accurately described as “Unconscious Self Starvation”. (Don’t worry, I’m not in danger. *try* being the key word.
It never lasts long enough. After a few hours, I succumb to carbs, snacks, something unhealthy…)

As for the big question, was yesterday a No Carbs day?
YES!!! It Was!!! YAY!!!

ps: Unless you count the remaining buttery cookies I shoved into my mouth just before I went to sleep…
well, even if you count that, technically the day was carb free… We just ran off the cliff at night before bedtime.

if any of you are psychologists, feel free to analyze me… I need help. LOTS of help. Thank you in advance

Failed Diet, Carb Withdrawal and Why I Won’t Try Coke (the white kind…)

While I’ve been very silent (i.e., more silent than just silent), I’ve gotten A LOT of insights…
I have 2 weddings this week and I wanted to look my best in my slinky dress.
This started the 3 week goal of going to the gym twice a week (I’ve been once. where I felt faint after 30 mins)
And the no carb diet which I’ve failed miserably at – it went down faster than the speed of light.

But let me share my insights….

First, I got a glimpse of what it must be like to be a POW or innocent villager trapped in a jungle to avoid being tortured by invading troops and living without much food.

Hunger, although a self imposed state for me, makes you jittery, restless, and gives you terrible nightmares.
I cannot imagine what cocaine withdrawal must be like because Carb withdrawal is bad. Really bad.

Carbs were all I could think of – a huge plate of pasta constantly projected in the cinematic screen of my mind.

Batali Bolognese

Mario Batali makes my fav pasta. This is his Bolognese. It got me at hello

The pasta dishes flashed like a slide show: classic spaghetti bolognese with homemade tomato sauce stewed for hours finished with fresh basil and grated mozzarella cheese,
next: smooth carbonara fettucini weave with stir fried brown onions, sweet peas, sliced mushrooms and generous, crispy bacon
next: meaty mac & cheese baked in triple cheese and white wine with chicken and mushrooms and the perfect browned melted cheese top

You get the idea…

This entire slide show looped in my head while I curled up in a chair like an addict without carbs.

I couldn’t concentrate, went from computer to kitchen to fix tea, took a shower, back to the laptop, pacing the floor…

I was a complete grouch; I grunted, I snapped. I tried to the show the fangs which I did not have to get people to stop talking to me because it was all noise in my head. Unnecessary noise that I did not need!

I got headaches, I spent afternoons on the couch my head hurting from the torture of the carb slideshow, from being underfed.

and then, after putting myself through this for 3/4 of the day, I’d decide: This is TOO MUCH TO BEAR!!!
I’d locate the nearest plate of spaghetti and promptly gorge it all down with a satisfied glee like a Cheshire cat and curl up on the chair with total delight.

Till the guilt set in. I’d freak out at all the carbs I was NOT suppose to eat. I’d feel like a total failure: out of control and unable to do something as simple as abstain from carbs. WHAT kind of person can’t even abstain from carbs?!?! AND can’t get to the gym twice a week for just 3 weeks?!?!
Well, Me, of course. (and maybe you? tell me I’m not alone….)

So if this was what carb withdrawal felt like, I have no idea how bad cocaine withdrawal must be. It must feel like the world is ending. (Incidentally, while the Mayans predicted the end in a few days, I think it’s a total mistake. In the meanwhile, for good measure, please go out and eat more of the food you like. Just in case the world does end. Which I’m sure is totally false and a conspiracy rumor created by Duracell and canned food companies)

So on that note, I will not be trying coke anytime cos it would suck to go through coke withdrawal.
And we all know, all good things must come to an end: the coke supply will eventually run out.
Either because your dealer gets shot, you get arrested, or you simply run out of  cash.
Drinking champagne is a safer habit, less expensive, less painful and far more glamorous.
That’s my advice if you’re thinking of trying coke.

Back to the diet, the original point in case we’ve all forgotten.
Yesterday, I decided I was actually going to have NO CARBS dammit!
It was good – until someone innocently put a box of freshly baked cookies in front of me.
That was the end of no carbs. (yes cookies count as carbs….)
I stuffed my face with half a box of cookies…
In my friend’s defense, he did not know I was on a no carb diet.

Today, I woke up and told myself “TODAY WILL be carb free!!”
I went many tads too far and pretty much didn’t eat anything from the time I woke up.
I felt faint.
I was busy running errands and finally had a break for food and got a bowl of soup.
After soup, I felt better.
Insight: starving yourself can make you feel faint. #obvious insights
Huh. Who knew!!

My proud moment today? I walked past caramel popcorn…
I flipped through the manual of No Carbs diet to find an exclusion clause for caramel popcorn.
No such exclusion. Damn.
I walked away from caramel popcorn like a demure young lady.
I’m so proud of myself. Just imagine the thing I do everyday if I’m proud of this small act….

So, that’s my unsuccessful diet and carb withdrawal experience.
The last wedding is on Friday. I’m hoping to wear a bandage dress. I’m not sure how that will go…
Let’s see if I manage to go carb free for the next few days.
but OMG, I’m totally devouring a plate of pasta after Friday…

Someone who fights for you and your relationship

Last week, I attended the wedding of a long time friend. They’re a gorgeous, wonderful couple – lots of spunk and humor! Listening to their dedications to each other, the stories from their friends, a thought hit me:

You know, dating in search of love shouldn’t be this hard and agonizing.

There really isn’t much to decode and decipher.

If he’s really attracted to you and mature enough to be looking for a real, long term relationship, he’ll call and be dependable. Not disappear for weeks, casually forget you were suppose to have dinner.

So every time I find myself thinking “why hasn’t so and so called???” and angst about it, I’m just going to shrug it off and realize it’s not the right one and move along without tearing myself up no matter how much I may like the guy.

I know what I’m about, I have a lot to give to the right person who feels the same.
It’s about finding someone who will fight for me and our relationship.

Realize all that you are and all the things you have to give to someone.
Know that you are worth fighting for!

Finally getting started! YAY!

Hi! I’ve been meaning to write this blog for a long time, probably 5 years to be more exact.

A really good friend had been telling me over the years to “Just GET to it already!! It’s not that hard to blog!”

So I tried with another platform and I would forget about it for months. Not a good way to get readers.
When I switched to wordpress, the technological skills required to use widgets and figuring out placement  was exhausting! AHH!

I just never got to it – you know how it is when you mean to get to something and it somehow falls through the cracks? yeah, this is one of them, like the way I mean to fix the broken plate I dragged back from my trip to Turkey, sell my extra stuff on eBay, and uh, lots of other things…

So here we are finally! YAY! I hope you have fun reading as I share my stories and I’d love to hear yours too!
Please bear with me and the page as I try to get it into the format I want and take time to figure out basic stuff like “Uhrm, wait, you mean readers can’t comment cause I need to put in a comment widget?!?”

I’ll get better — I hope. *gulp*

Hugs and love! (maybe you guys should be sending those to me. I need it!)

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