Brilliant Wittyness, Happening Right Now, Inspirations & Reflections, Musings

Who He Chose…

It was meant to a relaxing, laid back afternoon,
enjoying coffee and sinful chocolate cake with a friend.

I walked into the tiny cafe looking for some seats.

Walking along the long wooden table, I felt punched by the walls and probably froze for a few seconds.
Right in front, I saw the guy I was crazy about.
With a girl.
and his arms around her.

I was completely caught off guard. I was not prepared to meet him.
I hadn’t heard from him in awhile and I had guessed he had met someone.
But there’s nothing like being smashed in the face with the visual of the guy you’ve been liking for over a year standing with his girlfriend.
His arms around her when you want it to be you his arms are around.

I turned around and walked out of the cafe slowly, hoping no one, including him, would notice.
Wishing I could fade into the walls, sink into the wooden floor boards and disappear.
Wishing I never walked into that cafe to see him with his new girlfriend.

Once out the door, I walked in a daze towards the small garden patch next to the cafe.
The friend I was meeting was walking to the cafe and I had to quickly revert to my smiley disposition.
A friend confirmed my sighting when she heard I’d seen him
“Oh yes! he’s got a girlfriend! It’s pretty new!”
I kept very silent and put on a poker face the entire time.

For the first few hours, I must have still been in shock and I didn’t feel much.

As the hours have worn on, the questions have surfaced and are playing on repeat in my mind.
The hurt and pain is surfacing. I’ve cried a few times.

As I cried in the shower, I yelled at myself silently: I blame myself partly.
I just screwed up a possible shot at a relationship with someone who has a lot in common.
If I wasn’t so cautious when I first met him and I showed my interest more clearly, it could be me by his side now.
Now I’ve lost a chance to find out if we are compatible, if we can have a life together.
It’s gone.

And I’m reeling in the pain and hurt that he chose someone else over me.
I just wanted us to share our common interests together, learn about other areas together and each other’s perspective, enjoy the simple things in life of reading together on a sofa, admire the view from the mountain, savor the fragrant tea.

He is the only one I’ve met who I’ve wanted to cook for and recreate his favorite childhood dish he misses. I would have experimented countless times to recreate the dish for him since the family recipe has been lost.


I admire him and love his creativity, his understated, quiet sense of humor, his brilliance.
I like him for who he is — not what he’s achieved or what he offers me.
I like him for him.

I’d so wish we could have pursued our interests together, side by side.
I wanted to edge him on and support him and encourage him to embark on his long time dream.

I wanted to have a shot at finding out if we were compatible together,
if we could have a life together.
I believe we could.

I just wanted for us to enjoy the things we had in common and incorporate the differences,
to cheer him on in his efforts, support him when things were down,
stand on his side always, love and laugh together,
make him happy, and be happy together.


Where we both feel our lives are better because we are together:
The bad days are more bearable because we have enough other,
The joys in life are more joyous because we celebrate together.
If he fell sick, I’d look after him and stay with him to lift his spirits.
I just wanted to share our life, have a fuller life, and be happier together because we had each other.
My love is sincere and genuine and that’s all I want.

I don’t know why he lost interest. Was it something I said or did?
I don’t know why he doesn’t appreciate my sincerity and everything I have to offer.
Honestly, how many people would love you for you and not because you have something to offer them?

But he chose someone else.
I’m crushed I have to admit. Completely crushed.
I shouldn’t be taking it this hard.
After all it was just a guy I had been going out with that didn’t work.
I shouldn’t be in tears or feeling this piercing pain throughout my body.

But the pain is there and it hurts like hell.
I need it to go away and I can’t bear living with this pain.
I don’t know why and what went wrong and I know I won’t get any answers.

I have a lot of love and affection for him.
I swear there was chemistry between us and there’s an attraction.
I wish we had a shot at life together.

For now, I need this pain to go away and accept I’ve lost a shot with someone I care deeply for.
I hate being collateral damage but this is life.
In life, sometimes you end up with a losing streak.
Until things improve….

Please share how you got through the pain and hurt when a person you loved chose to be with someone else.lost-love-poems2



4 thoughts on “Who He Chose…

  1. This was tough to read. I feel you pain. I’ve been in a predicament like this before. It hurt and I did the same thing you did. I cried and cried and wondered why he didn’t choose me. What was wrong with me that we didn’t work out. But then I figured if he was supposed to be with me then he would be. He and I would have worked out, but we aren’t and its ok because I am better without him. He might have not been what I wanted, He might have ended up hurting me more than I could handle and maybe this was a sign that I didn’t need him in my life. But think of it like this. IF this was meant for you then it would have happened. I believe that whats for you will always be for you. He may not have been what you thought he would have been. He might not have perfect, he might have been emotionally draining and took more out of you than you have. You might have just been saved from having your heart broken worse. Its going to take some time and its going to be hard but believe that this is what is best for you.


    Posted by Riley | March 6, 2014, 7:45 pm
    • Hi Riley, thanks for taking the time to share your story and the advice and comfort. I know everything you’re saying is true. In my head, I know you’re right and if he doesn’t value everything I am and have to offer, then I shouldn’t waste time and energy being ripped up by him.
      Emotionally though, it just feels painful and tough. I’m working on getting myself there emotionally. It’s been bumpy, I’ve been down and affected most days though I know I should be rid of a guy who doesn’t appreciate me. I guess I wish we were meant to be and we would work out happily ever after. It’s hard to accept he chose someone else and not let this feel it’s a negative reflection on me. I’m trying, I’m working on it. I want to be over him and rid of this pain asap. Love to hear your story of what happened after you had a similar situation and what realizations you had. Keep coming over. Thanks Riley. Hugs and Love ❤


      Posted by SparkaliciousWit | March 9, 2014, 11:31 am
  2. How do you get over the pain of him walking away after 10 years and 3 kids together? Its been 10 years and 4 months and I’m still crying…


    Posted by sherry | March 10, 2015, 5:10 am
    • Dear Sherry, Sending you lots of love and hugs your way. It’s so hard to have a life with someone and it all disappears. I’m sure you have done a lot for him and the kids an family and you are amazing to continue looking after your kids. Look after yourself too. As painful as it is to deal with him walking away, also realize that this is largely his issues that sadly caused you much pain. He should have appreciated you so much more. Try to find things you enjoy doing , things that cheer you up and meet up with friends and family. He clearly isn’t dependable to make you happy so you need to try your best to make yourself happy. It’s not easy but every little step counts. I hope the pain will go away and you will be happy and feel loved from friends and family around you and most of all, from yourself. Hugs & Love to you ❤


      Posted by SparkaliciousWit | March 10, 2015, 12:01 pm

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