Yesterday was a terrible day. HORRIBLE.
Is the proximity of the moon to earth making people mean and fragile?
I don’t know
The Bloggess has her view on this
I started yesterday full of hope.
I was in line to win a project and was scheduled to meet with a two senior people overseeing the project.
I’ve stayed up nights to do extra reading to be as well prepared as I could be.
My first meeting went well enough.
The second meeting very quickly down the tube.
The Director pretty much shot done all my experience and said it didn’t count.
In the end, he said he wasn’t going to recommend me for the project.
I am not good at arguing with people and someone else would probably have done a much better job of refuting him.
I didn’t. I looked at him and just tried to keep my calm and not cry.
The guy trampled and trashed all my experience and made me feel like crap, that I was worthless because my recent experience wasn’t what he demanded based on his specific criteria.
Sitting on his high horse, with his big title and pay check, he just went on say I couldn’t execute the project on the same level of expertise as the rest of the team.
He failed to realize how difficult and it challenging it was for me to work on a project basis.
Could he do it instead? Get up every day and go out and pitch himself to get projects to work on?
Hear no no no no no the entire day and weeks on end but continue to persevere to look out for projects?
He didn’t bother 1 bit to recognize the qualities it takes to do that and give me credit for me.
He just shot me down, labelled my experience lacking, and trampled all over me.
It was SO EASY for him to flick me off like a pesky fly.
What was an easy, thoughtless, simple decision to slam the door in my face meant a drastic loss of opportunity for me.
This is the part that kills me.
It is that flick of a moment that changes the course of your life.
I was SO close to getting the project.
If not for him, I would have had a decent to good shot at getting the project.
But in his one moment of whim, he slammed close the door and as a result it is a huge loss to me.
I was passionate about the project, it is something I really want to do and can do.
It would have been an incredibly journey to work on it.
And, he’s taken that away from me and made me feel like crap.
Everyday he wakes up. He goes to his office and sits there knowing he will get a big fat paycheck at the end of the month.
Every week, I have to go out and look for people I can pitch to, try to get projects to work on.
I never know how much I will make in a month or whether it will be an empty month.
I’ve been crying since yesterday evening, into the night, and this morning when I woke up.
I went to sleep shivering from the pain of my misery.
I wanted to stop trying. Why bother to try and achieve my ambitions to be told my experience and work means nothing.
I should just go back to a simple job, be a waitress or a cashier. Forget my work goals.
I didn’t feel like doing anything but I had a girlfriend I hadn’t seen in a long time who was in town.
I felt like crap but I wanted to see her.
I just hoped I wouldn’t burst into tears.
We sat. We talked. I told her I was upset, and possibly emotionally unstable.
She listened and helped me see the other angle.
The logical side of me knew I shouldn’t let this guy pull me down and make me feel so bad about myself and my accomplishments.
But his judgement cut so deep.
This is what great friends do. They support you.
Today, my girlfriend saved the day and helped pick me up while I crumbled.
My girlfriend told me to look at all the things I had accomplished in a variety of areas.
So the guy refused to recognize it. So what? The fact was I had achieved so many things
She told me to believe in myself.
I told her about a project I’ve been working on.
She told me to stop downplaying it and be proud of it.
Instead of saying it’s just a small project, own it and say I’m spreading the message for this organization as their spokesperson.
I don’t think she quite realized how badly and deeply I was hurting.
Because of course, I downplayed that too.
I hadn’t seen her in over a year and I was more excited to see her and didn’t want to dampen our meetup.
At this point, as I’m trying to type it out, I’ve forgotten most of what she said.
She made me feel better by helping me to recognize my talents and accomplishments.
She saved the day and gave me hope that I could work through it.
She probably won’t see this but I’m so thankful for her, her friendship and support.
I’m still hurting, but I’m feeling a little better.
Maybe I’ll be fine tomorrow.
What’s the moral of the story here?
1. Do not let them get to you (yeah, self, please take note…). Do not let them destroy you.
There are many mean bullies who will take advantage of their superior position to put you down.
Do you really want to let some bully you will not have anything to do with stop you from your progress? NO.
2. Reframe. Remind yourself of what you’ve accomplished, how far you have gotten.
Someone doesn’t recognize your value, but another person will.
Most of all, you must recognize your own value.
You need to believe in yourself to continue your journey to reach your goal.
How else can you convince someone else in your ability?
3. Have amazing friends who will support you through the tough times.
I’ve learned this the hard way.
I’ve struggled a lot recently and some friends I thought would be there for me turned out to be a great disappointment.
When you are walking in the dark, you’ll find out who will be there to help you, encourage you, and support you.
The ones who will help you see yourself in a positive light instead of making you feel worse than you feel.
I’m so thankful for the few friends who have helped and support me. They will probably not read this.
But I’m so glad they are in my life and I’m so thankful for them.
Has someone put you down or marginalized your contribution at work?
Share what did you do and how you got over the pain?