Sparkling
Food, Musings

Williams Sonoma rage grows…

Williams Sonoma has clearly frustrated this poor guy…

His rage grows clearly throughout the article … and thankfully for us, it’s hilarious!

He has inspired my friend to be an Artisanal Meth artist…

My Favorites:

On Trappist Monks Fruitcake: “Supply is limited. Apparently, the market for $40 Ozark fruitcake is ENORMOUS. White women from Bridgehampton ALL THE WAY to Westhampton rely on the monks to deliver their holiday fruitcake every year. Ina Garten’s ADORABLE HUSBAND JEFFREY WHO MAKES A LOT OF MONEY loves the sight of a fine white-trash-monk fruitcake any time he comes home.”

On a Waffle Batter Dispenser: “How about a spoon? How about you use a fucking spoon to dole out your waffle batter?”

On a Rustic Chicken Coop: “honestly, if you’re buying a goddamn chicken coop from a catalog, why NOT spring for the painted chicken? It was hand painted in an urban garden workshop, people. You CANNOT say you are a true farm-to-table household unless you have a coop to call your own.”

The Chocolate Sampler: “OH HOLY FUCK THAT SOUNDS GOOD. Look at the picture of all those items stacked on top of each other. I bet it took the food stylist four hours to get the caramel to drip just so. This catalog does nothing but give me pantry envy. All I have in my pantry is flour and gum. I don’t even HAVE a pantry. I have a cabinet. Rich people have pantries. Rich people have entire food closets lined with whammies and biscuits and emergency rimming sugar GOD I HATE RICH PEOPLE SO MUCH.”


Read Drew’s raging commentary on Williams Sonoma’s catalogue in it’s full entirety…

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